Wake Up Wednesday: Could You & I Be Bullies?

Thought for the Day: Since I will be speaking on the Blind Matters Radio program this Saturday on bullying, I have been giving the subject a lot of thought. In my mind, bullying & prejudice go hand in hand. I was brought up in a home where prejudice was seen as intolerable. I tend to be very liberal & accepting of differences; however, I, like all human beings, tend to gravitate towards like minded people & spend more time with those who agree with me. It is hard not to feel disdain towards those that I see as "bullies." Is that not prejudice? Although I do everything in my power not to harm others, I wonder could anyone become a bully, even me? Is a zero tolerance policy that expels a child for bullying from a school not a form of bullying? Does our society, pass the buck by moving bullies from school to school, class to class or having the bully home schooled actually perpetuate the problem?

The answers to ending bullying are more complex than just a zero tolerance policy. Psychological research has found that many bullies in our schools have or are being bullied at home. Sending them home, expelling them from school may only exacerbate the problem. Are you & I bullying the bullies by not providing comprehensive therapeutic interventions that would get to the bottom of why a child is bullying his peers & help them change their behavior?

I hope you will tune in on Saturday & ask questions. I will propose some of my ideas about how to solve the epidemic of bullying. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this complex & troubling issue.

Motivational Monday on Tuesday: The Things Kids Say from A Child Is Missing

Thought for the Day: I like to have flexibility & leave room for spontaneity in life & my blog. I know today is Tuesday & not Monday, but since my knee operation, I have been a bit slower than usual. I was going to write a psychology trivia question until I opened an e-mail from one of the nonprofit organizations featured in & benefiting from my book, A Child Is Missing. Many people are aware of their work in helping to find missing children, but you may not be aware of their anti-bullying & educational programs which try to prevent abductions.  I will be speaking this Saturday at 3 PM EST on bullying prevention on Blind Matters Radio so the bullying epidemic is on my mind. Hopefully, stories like these will motivate you to get involved & do something to help prevent bullying. If all you do is pass the stories along to your friends & family, that will help raise awareness. Do whatever you can. Please share projects & ideas you have that are making a difference in your community as well. I'd love to hear them!

Here is the segment from their newsletter that I felt compelled to share fro A Child Is Missing's Newsletter:

The Things KIDs Say... Photo by George Olsen During the past 10 years A Child Is Missing’s Child Safety Education and Anti-Bullying Program has reached over 60,000 children. Our goal is to make sure they gain a sense on how to stay safe and how to deal with bullying throughout any situation. Although we are the instructors, there are times we learn from the stories they share which helps us curve how we teach each class: One young girl shared that a young boy in her class kept making negative comments about her. She later told on him and he replied that the next time she did something like that he would light her on fire. We learned to discuss more on a key point of "Seeking Help"  immediately and how important it is as a form of standing up for your self. At that same camp, one subject was “The Safety Zone” which emphasizes how important personal space it is . A young girl raised her hand and asked, “What about the man next door?”  At the end of the session I advised the camp counselor to contact the Mom and let her know there was a situation she should know about. This brought to light that we needed to emphasize that not only are strangers dangerous but to be aware of everyone. At another camp, at the end of one our bullying classes, a young boy stood up and expressed , “I was going to commit suicide. But, now I know that I am not alone and I can go and speak with my parents about how I feel!”  All of the kids applauded! The teachers while on the way back to Fort Lauderdale called from their car, telling the story in tears.They knew they saved a life. Local law enforcement assists with the funding of these programs held at the Parks/Recreation facilities in Broward, Miami/Dade, Palm Beach, Sarasota, Delray Beach and some other locations.  Law enforcement cares and hopefully this will encourage others to do the same!

Sunday's Comics: Best Toddler Costume of the Year!

Thought for the Day: I have not been posting as frequently as I recover from knee surgery. I promise that I will catch up & be up to speed soon! Yesterday, I actually was able to ride the stationary bike for 3 minutes! As I reported last Monday, I could not pedal all the way around even once! Above are some funny Halloween photos (from MorgueFiles.com) that I found for your enjoyment.  I also could not resist sharing a video that over 18,000,000 people have viewed of by far the year's best Halloween costume. Have a great weekend! If you have any great photos of kids or adults costumes, please share them. I plan to go on a photographing trip to Wilton CT before they take down some amazing costumed soft sculptures around town.

Saturday's Songs For the Soul: The Luckiest Guy from The Magnetic Fields

Thought for the Day: It is a beautiful fall day & I feel like sharing a very funny song with you today. Laughter always feeds our souls. It helps us through good & bad times. Psychological studies have shown that laughter can even lengthen our lives. I heard "The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side" on WFUV radio (one of NYC's greatest radio stations, which also streams online & is well worth listening to even if you do not live in the NYC area) a week or two ago. It may be the funniest song I've heard in a long time. It gives hope to all those not so "beautiful" people in the world. It was recorded by the group The Magnetic Fields. Steven Merritt New Your based lead singer is also the principal songwriter of the group. The animated video byurbaninks on YouTube was for a class assignment instructed by Gail Anderson. The assignment permitted the use of b/w color, Adobe fonts and a song. The photo is from an amazing program that was in NYC about a year ago where they placed pianos on the streets of New York & passersby would simply sit down & play. it is part of a world wide program, Play Me I'm Yours. I hope you enjoy the music!

Wednesday's Words of Wisdom: Emily Dickenson on Living With Loss

"You will not see me, so you must have faith. I wait for the time when we can soar together again, both aware of each other. Until then, live your life to its fullest and when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart... I will be there." Emily Dickenson

Thought for the Day: Last week two days after my surgery, I learned of the passing of a dear friend, Carolyn Raizes Davis, who I have known since I was around 8 years old. I regret that I could not go to Houston to be there for her family & friends. Today, I received a copy of a beautiful eulogy given by two of her daughters. They ended the eulogy with this quote from Emily Dickenson which Carolyn read every day after losing her & my dear friend, Amelia Samet Kornfeld, whom I have written about in my book & on this blog. I share it in honor of lifelong friends & hope it brings you strength to live your lives to the fullest even when you mourn loved ones you can only hold in your heart.

Motivational Mondays: Thank Heaven for Physical Therapy

Thought for the Day: It is now day 6 since my knee surgery & I went for my second physical therapy appointment. As I said a couple of days ago, my recovery is actually moving along at a pretty normal pace, however, it is a humbling experience. The pain is still an issue which I am managing with pain killers and ice. It is very strange to have to think about walking without a limp or remembering how to climb stairs the way I have for a lifetime. Fear of pain also gets in the way of doing things more naturally.

On Saturday, I went to my 1st physical therapy appointment with Amanda at Wilton Physical Therapy. I was amazed at how much progress I made even though the exercises were fairly simple. Since I have a doctor's appointment later today & Amanda Kaslowitz, DPT, CPT,  could not see me at a time that worked, I met with Tony Grabiec, MSPT, CPT, her associate. I came expecting to do similar exercises; however, I was in for some surprises. Tony pushed me to a much higher level. I could not believe the contortions he put my knee & leg through. Then, he had me do exercises I did not think were possible before I did them. When he had me climb onto a stationary bike, I thought he was crazy! At first, I could barely move the pedals. He raised the seat & encouraged me to pedal backwards or forwards as much as I could. Mind you, there was no tension on the bike, but I was pushing the pedals as far as I could. He encouraged me to pedal one full circle in either direction, but I could not do it yet. Finally, he made my knee into an ice sandwich with some electrical stimulation to help speed the healing process. My leg feels a bit stiff now & a little sore (thank goodness I took pain medication before my appointment), but I already see changes in how much I am able to bend my knee & sit more normally.

I don't want to bore you with the details of my physical therapy. Bear with me, there is a reason I am writing about this. Those of you who follow this blog know I have always been an active person. I chose to have this operation because I was in pain, could barely walk & wanted my active lifestyle back. I want to return to normal as soon as possible. As motivated as I am, I know that without a therapist like Amanda & Tony, I could never have done the kind of exercises I did today. Sometimes, no matter how motivated we are to change, we need people cheering us along the way to recovery. They have dealt with all kinds of injuries & know what to expect. They know how hard to push & when to let the client set the pace. Tony's confidence that I could raise my leg higher or bend my knee further will help me trust in my ability to recover. In psychotherapy, it is similar except that the markers are not physical. It can take longer to see progress.

Whatever challenges you are recovering from, take advantage of the therapists who can help keep you motivated. Has a physical therapist or other therapist helped you do more than you believed possible? I'd love to hear your stories.

#FF Follow Up Friday: Humbling Insights from Recovery

Thought for the Day: Today is day 3 since I had arthroscopic knee surgery. I am right on target with my recovery. I'm able to walk without crutches or a cane. I have removed the bulky bandages which were protecting my knee & am am down to just tylenol for pain. Tomorrow, I start physical therapy. I should be pleased with my progress & in many ways I am. However, I had hoped to be feeling better by now. The doctor & all those I spoke with, prior to the procedure, emphasized that it was minimally invasive, which it was, but it is still surgery. I thought that I would be back to regular blogging, but do not feel focused enough to write my normal posts. Much of my leg feels sort of numb & I'm not ready to dance the night away! I can see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel & know it was the right thing to go ahead & have the surgery, but it may take longer than I had hoped to recover fully. I am also bored, but don't have the energy or focus to do much. I need to remind myself that it has only been 3 days since the operation & that it will get better from here.

The experience has made me both grateful & humble. I am grateful for the health I have had most of my life. Thankful that this was the 1st time I ever had to use crutches or a cane & for the strength of my legs & knees that have supported me as I danced, swam, & hiked through life. As I waited for the surgery, I began to notice how many people around me every day appear to have trouble walking. My issue was fairly simple & hopefully it will be repaired completely soon. Other people have not been as lucky as me. Knee &/or hip replacements are not as easy to tolerate & often do not succeed as well as meniscus surgery. Since this experience, I will never  look at a person limping or using a cane or a walker in the same way. I have always had tremendous respect for people in wheelchairs working to lead as normal of a life as possible. As patient & accepting of others' disabilities as I believe I am, this experience made me confront my own impatience with myself when my legs weren't working right. This experience has taught me that I need to be more patient with myself. If any condition becomes permanent, I hope that I will find ways to continue doing what I love despite whatever happens.

Have a wonderful weekend. I hope to return to regular blogging soon.