Sunday's Comic Strips: Who or What Is Man's Best Friend?

Thought for the Day: With all this talk about friendship, we have not addressed man's best friend. Are we replacing man's best friend with smart phones? Are smart phones & social media helping us be more connected to other people or more distant, Do we text & leave voice messages instead of meeting up with or talking on the phone with friends? What do you think? Have a great weekend & hope to see you next week for another angle to friends & mental health.

Wednesday's Words Of Wisdom: Phillip Zimbardo Shyness: A Social Pathology

  http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Zimbardo_in_Warsaw_2009.jpg#globalusage

Thought for the Day: As we continue to examine the value of friendships, Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom this week come from contemporary psychologist, Philip Zimbardo, who was born in 1933. After earning three undergraduate degrees in psychology, sociology, & anthropology from Brooklyn College, he went on to receive his M.S. at Yale University. Zimbardo is best known for ground-breaking psychological theories & experiments such as the Stanford prison study, Time Paradox, Lucifer Effect, & Abu Ghraib analysis.

For today’s post, I chose a little known quote by Zimbardo on shyness:
         “The level of shyness has gone up dramatically in the last decade. I think
     shyness is an index of social pathology rather than a pathology of the individual.”
If shyness stems from society’s ills & is not an innate disposition, how can we treat the societal pathology? Is it possible this societal illness interferes with developing friendships in our modern world? Does it deter people from responding to or making advances to initiate friendships. Could it be a factor in what I described in Motivational Monday's post as "friendship deprivation?" Since Zimbardo’s observations, has the increase in shyness morphed into a societal distrust & sense of lack of safety? Could this fuel some people’s apprehension & adamant belief in the necessity to own guns to feel safe? If shyness stems from societal problems & the increased fear of strangers that plagues some segments of our society is similar, how can we help reduce these fears & heal the social pathology?

Over the next couple of weeks, I will address these questions as I examine the benefits of friendship to our mental health. The answers are complex. The solutions will take time. But if we grapple with them for long enough, we’re sure to eventually reduce the shyness & fear that’s becoming so prevalent in society.  We need to look to psychology, education, sociology & other disciplines to begin to discover answers. What are your thoughts? I hope you will join me in this discussion.

Throwback Tuesday: Sunday's Comic Strips: How Do Super Heroes Build Self Confidence?

 

Thought for the Day: The above comic strip was posted on 4/7/2013. In light of a connection I made to another psychologist, +Theresa Regan. I decided to share a guest post from Theresa. She is a Neuro-psychologist at the Illinois Neurological Institute, mother of a child on the autism spectrum &  the author Soul Cries for parents praying for struggling kids. You can view additional posts on her blog: soulcriesparent.blogspot.com. Dr. Regan holds a PhD in Neuropsychology & is a Certified Brain Injury Specialist & also does public speaking about brain function, autistic spectrum, Christian faith, sensory symptoms & executive function.

Here is what I wrote when the post first came out:

Thought for the Day: It's time for Sunday's Comic Strips & decided to stay on the topic of the week, self confidence, Hope you like the it. Join me next week when I will be posting about the Psychological importance of friendships.

This response from New Parenting Hangout on Jul 3, 2013 helped me connect with Theresa:

+Barbara Lavi We all have our own super powers. +Theresa Regan and her son have identified some super powers that help their communication

 

Here's a wonderful post about how Theresa turns her son's symptoms into a  super powers. It could be helpful for kids with ADD & other symptoms as well:

Does Your Child Have 'Super Powers?": Talking to your kids about their autistic spectrum symptoms

By Dr. Theresa Regan
 

                                               

My son is 7 years old and has a diagnosis in the autistic spectrum.  One of the features of the spectrum is that some children and adults can have many sensitivities that feel overwhelming at times.  My son has many sensory symptoms like this: the sun is too bright, crowded places are noisy and chaotic, being touched can feel overwhelming.  The strength of these symptoms seems to be variable through different ages and seasons of life for him.  When he is having a hard day, he has more symptoms.  I remember one season when he was 4 years old.  He was so sensitive at that time that it was hard to function.  He didn't want me to use any of our kitchen appliances because they were too noisy.  Even if he was in a different room with the door closed, he seemed bothered by the noises.  We even considered taking the appliances to the basement!

One decision facing parents whose kids are struggling is how to discuss the struggles without making the child feel chastised or bad about themselves.  In this case, we started talking to him about his super powers!  He could really resonate with this concept.  We talked about how not everyone could see and hear what he could.  His super powers (hearing, vision, etc) could be really valuable and wonderful (e.g., he can pick out details in a picture that no one else sees).  We also talked about how his powers can make life hard or uncomfortable. 

One of our goals was to teach him how to monitor how his powers were doing that day.  We would say, "Are your super powers bothering you today?" or when he could see or hear something we couldn't, we might say "Ah!  Your super powers are turned on.  I didn't even notice that noise."  Then we would ask him to start monitoring his own powers and telling us what he needs that day.  We would say, "If your super powers are really strong today, what can we do to make it feel better."  We would start to teach him options for coping with really strong inputs.  For example, we might suggest sunglasses outside.  I would warn him before I turned on kitchen appliances so he could decide whether he wanted to put his hands on his ears, go upstairs to his room, etc. 

He really responded to the concept of super powers having good aspects as well as challenges.  And he also started monitoring how he was doing on a certain day, and letting us know (with prompts).  Pretty soon, he could start to choose from options about how to cope on that day.

What super powers do your kids have?  How do you talk to your kids about their strengths and challenges? 

I hope this post was helpful to you. You can build your own superpowers by reading my book, too. Stay tuned for our 1st free e-book promotion coming soon!