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Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Throwback Thursday's Psychology Trivia: T or F: Children Raised By Single Moms Are Emotionally Damaged for Life


Thought for the Day: I have extended the survey on Children and Violence for another week till midnight, EST, 11/12/14. Please take a few minutes and complete this confidential survey. Your answers will help find creative solutions and better understanding of the issues.

It's time for Thursday's Psychology Trivia. I chose to update a post from about a year ago and hope you find it interesting.
True or False: Children Raised By Single Moms Tend To Be Emotionally Handicapped For Life 
    What do you think? Are children raised by two parents healthier emotionally than children raised by single moms. Are children handicapped for life by growing up with just one parent? Do they tend to have drug and alcohol problems, lower grades and more behavioral and mental health issues than children raised in two parent homes. 

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Thursday's Psychology Trivia: Is there a Connextion Between Girls, Sports & Breast Cancer?


Thought for the Day: It is already Thursday and time for another psychology trivia question:

True or False: Girls active in sports during adolescence and young adulthood are 20% less likely to get breast cancer later in life.

What do you think?

Friday, January 17, 2014

Thursday's Psychology Trivia: True or False: Children Raised By Single Moms Tend To Be Emotionally Handicapped For Life

Thought for the Day: I know it's Friday and not Thursday, but yesterday I was very busy and unable to post this Thursday's Psychology Trivia Question. So to try and stay on track, I'm posting this now & will post #FF Friday's Fabulous Finds a bit later in the day. Here's yesterday's Question and answer:
True or False: Children Raised By Single Moms Tend To Be Emotionally Handicapped For Life 
    What do you think? Are children raised by two parents healthier emotionally than children raised by single moms. Are children handicapped for life by growing up with just one parent? Do they tend to have drug and alcohol problems, lower grades and more behavioral and mental health issues than children raised in two parent homes. 

      The answer is false. How well a child will do in the future depends on a number of variables in addition to the number of parenting figures. Unfortunately, psychological research has been guilty of painting a dire picture for how children of single moms fare which may be skewed by false prejudices and lack of adequate control of all the variables such as low income, fighting in the family and extended family involvement. Somehow, even when the statistics are not terribly strong, we tend to hold on to the myth that two parent families are better. Many studies report a rise in drug and alcohol abuse, behavioral and academic problems among children from single parent homes. In a book called Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After, Psychologist Bella DePaulo, Ph.D makes a strong case that the above statement is blatantly false. 

     When Dr. DePaulo reviewed the findings of a study of 22,000 adolescents which found that there were more teens struggling with drug and alcohol problems. She was struck by both the small number of teens in homes of single moms with drug and alcohol problems, 5.7% and by the fact that 4.5% of teens raised in two parent households were suffering from drug and alcohol abuse. If having two parents is so much better for children, Dr. DePaolo asks why is there only a 1.2% difference between the two groups?

     She also found that a comprehensive study of academic achievement of children  found no significant difference between groups raised in various types of households. Instead she reports that achievement in school was related to, 
"Whether there was a lot of conflict within families, high levels of disagreements between parents, or endless arguments between parents and kids."
     In addition, some studies showed that children in single parent homes at times have the advantage over their peers raised in two family homes. Single parents tend to be friendlier with their kids and often they have more interactions with extended family members. Single moms also tend to build a network of friends which become a support system for them and their children. Being raised in a happy single parent home with adequate support systems may be better for children from a two parent home that is filled with discord between the parents.




Sunday, April 14, 2013

Sunday's Comic Strips: Who or What Is Man's Best Friend?


Thought for the Day: With all this talk about friendship, we have not addressed man's best friend. Are we replacing man's best friend with smart phones? Are smart phones & social media helping us be more connected to other people or more distant, Do we text & leave voice messages instead of meeting up with or talking on the phone with friends? What do you think? Have a great weekend & hope to see you next week for another angle to friends & mental health.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Friday's Fabulous Finds: Healing Social Pathology 1 Friend, City, & App at a Time


Thought for the Day: It’s finally Friday! This week we have been talking about friendship & society's pathology. The finds relate to ways to start treating the social ills we have been talking about. You may enjoy the first two finds if you liked our Words of Wisdom post from this past Wednesday titled “Phillip Zimbardo Shyness: A Social Pathology.  The first is a program that teaches cities to become emotionally healthy. Programs like these can help treat the social pathology we discussed. The 2nd find is an article titled “Friendship Lessons from Introverts.” It debunks the myth that introverts lack strong relationships. What can we learn from them to enhance our relationships? The third find brings 5 free mobile apps for PTSD, Stress & Anxiety. These apps can help people heal from the violence & stress of our modern world. The 4rd fabulous find came from an article called “Diagnosis: Humans,” a NY Times Op-Ed Piece by Ted Gup. It concerns society’s desire to constantly “fix” our human flaws with objects &, or, medication. It certainly raises questions to consider as we grapple with society's dilemmas.  The last find is a less informative but entertaining YouTube video. It shows how a group of friends added a pleasant surprise to their friends’ wedding party. We hope our posts this week have helped you consider initiating new friendships, cultivating existing ones & growing as a friend. Happy Friday, everyone!


The Children's Project
1) Emotionally Healthy Cities Dr. Gerald Newmark, author of How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children & co-founder of The Children’s Project, explains what an emotionally-healthy city is. Click to learn how all cities can strive to become emotionally healthy cities. Thanks to Kelli Cronin for sharing information with me about The Children’s Project on LinkedIn.

2) "Friendship Lessons from Introverts" 
According to this source, introverts offer such benefits to friendships as becoming a better listener, frequent meaningful conversations, and having significant one-on-one time with friends. If you are an introvert, this post is for you!


3) 5 Free Mobile Apps for PTSD, Stress & Anxiety 
This informative article promotes applications that can alleviate people's suffering from PTSD, stress, & anxiety. Its author, Dave MacDonald, is a psychotherapist, consultant, & educator hailing from Asheville, North Carolina. I found this post on Links4Shrinks on LinkedIn.



4)  Diagnosis: Human Written by Ted Gup, this article sheds light on society’s tendency to mistake our flaws & humanity for mental illnesses. Gup puts it well: “We have become increasingly dissociated & estranged from the patterns of life & death, uncomfortable with the messiness of our own humanity, aging &, ultimately, mortality.”


5) Friend's Surprising Wedding Present

                                    See how friends prepared a unique surprising wedding gift.

Friday, April 5, 2013

#FF Friday's Fab Finds: Flower Power & Other Empowering Finds

Thought for the Day:  

TGIF & here are Friday's Fabulous Finds. As always the finds come from a mixed bag of articles, services & events. The common theme is empowerment. Today's finds include: an article about how flowers empower your mental & physical health; a site that supports & empowers multiple charities; a free app to empower mothers (and fathers) by helping them to coordinate their families busy schedules; how two moms found a way to change the world & have developed a successful business while protecting the environment; & information on how to learn about & support the battle for equal pay for women. In some ways all wee, I have been posting things about the importance of empowering yourself. On Monday my post was intended to help parents overcome feelings of helplessness even when their children challenge their patience. Tuesday & Thursday's Psychological Trivia Question addressed how posture impacts on self confidence & things you can do to strengthen your own & your children's confidence. Wednesday brought Karen Horney's Words of Wisdom on taking pride in what you do. I hope all these posts will all help you build a sense of pride & give you ways to empower yourself. Hope you come back for Saturday's Songs for the Soul & Sunday's Comic Strips. Have a great weekend.
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Flowers are good for mental & physical health

"It turns out that the 1960s activists who chanted "flower power" were onto something important, in more ways than they probably knew. Flowers, just like peace, are good for our mental health."
Photo from http://www.flickr.com/photos/55948751@N00/4071573320 Found on flickrcc.net

Charity Gift Mart's Mission is to provide socially conscious shoppers with a marketplace of goods created & produced by charities, with all profit returning to the charity to support their work.

 The #1 Family Calendar   

Cozi is a free app and website that helps you manage your busy family calendar. Plus it keeps track of everything from school schedules to sports activities, meals, grocery lists, and chores, all in one place.



Two Moms Turn A Green Idea Into Millions

A great story from Marlo Thomas' website. "Today, (these 2 women's) environmentally-friendly product is on shelves at top retailers and in children's lunchboxes across the country. It's remarkable how far one little idea can go!" -– Marlo Thomas

 

RSVP for the Equal Pay Day Online Chat

Tuesday, April 9, is Equal Pay Day, marking the additional number of days in 2013 a woman must work to make as much as a man makes for the same work – an unacceptable 92 days.

To commemorate this day and to discuss the work we still have to do to achieve pay equity, Senator Kirsten Gillibrand be holding a special online video chat with Rep. Terri Sewell and Sarah Jane Glynn of the Center for American Progress.
 

Monday, March 11, 2013

Motivational Mondays: #Gunsense Send Your Message to Congress

Thought for the Day: This Monday, I'd like to start the week off by helping you have a voice in Washington DC, but I will need your help to do it. Those of you following my blog have seen multiple posts about the rising violence in our society. As a psychologist, I am concerned about the traumatic impact this rise in violence has on our society. From bullying (Bullying Part I, Bullying Part IIBullying Part III , Bullying Part IV), to intolerance, to educational & mental health proposals to the Newtown tragedy, I have been raising my voice for saner gun control, more respect & tolerance in our society. I have written to the president asking for changes not only in gun control, but also in education & mental health provisions to help curb bullying & violence in our schools & society. This Wednesday, I will get a chance to speak my mind with senators & congressmen in Washington DC when I join a nonpartisan group of concerned mothers & fathers, Moms Demand Action for Gunsense in America. Statistically 90% of Americans want more #gunsense when it comes to legislation about safer control of guns, ie. enforcing background checks, closing loopholes which allow transfers of guns without background checks, & stopping of gun trafficking of illegal guns from state to state.

I would like your help today. If you have something you hope I will be able to convey to representatives in congress, please post a comment. I will bring along a print out with your comments to leave with every representative that I see. Feel free to write your feelings about the rise in gun violence & how it has impacted you, your children & your community. You are all experts on how the news about Newtown, Aurora & other gun violence have impacted on you. If you are a parent, how did you feel when you sent your children to school on the bus after the Newtown tragedy? Are you worried about their safety? Do you want teachers to carry guns? Have your children asked you questions that you are struggling to answer? If you are a retired teacher in Indiana, Wyoming or anywhere in the United States who found yourself crying all weekend after Newtown, write about it. If you are a therapist & have been speaking with your clients about their fears & concerns, please write about what your clients are feeling.  Your voice, feelings & experiences are important.

I will be joining mothers (& fathers) from across the nation for a day long event followed by a press conference with Senators Barbara Boxer & Diane Feinstein as two of the slated speakers. I will share my thoughts & impressions here as soon as possible, so check back often. (I may add additional posts or change the line up of posts, so this might be a good time to follow or set up an RSS feed of the blog.)

Please post whatever messages you would like to have me bring to the hill!

Monday, March 26, 2012

The Power of Laughter: Gilda Radner's Legacy Lives On

Gilda Radner's 1st Appearance on SNL
               
Gilda Radner (1946 -1989)
Thought for the day: The power of laughter has been proven to be therapeutic to our mental & physical health. Gilda Radner used laughter well & still inspires us. Here's some of what she said about cancer: "Here it is: I had a cyst removed from an ovary & lost ten pounds & kept it off. So tell everyone: chew a lot of gum & have major surgery. " "I grew up in front of television, I guess I’ll grow old inside one." "My life had made me funny, & cancer wasn't going to change that. " Has laughter helped you overcome tough times? Please share a story that may help someone else struggling with illness or a loss.

On Thursday, I will be taking part in a day long event. The morning will begin with a panel that I will be co-moderating with Stacey Battat, editor of a series of inspirational books called, Thin Threads. Our topic is officially Wellness After Grief or Illness, not the easiest topic to address at 10 AM. Stacy & I agreed to focus on resilience. 

Gene Wilder
The evening will include a tribute to Gene Wilder, one of our greatest comediennes. When I spoke with Stacy about the event, we both agreed that adding humor would help the panel present an uplifting & inspirational discussion of a tough topic. Gilda Radner's valiant battle with ovarian cancer leading to Gilda's Club seemed to exemplify how one woman fought back with humor. She outlived her prognosis & left a legacy that lives on. In one of the above quotes she said she would grow old inside a television. She was wrong, she remains young, vibrant & inspirational in videos like her 1st appearance on SNL. She is also still a role model for anyone coping with a serious illness.

I plan to honor Gilda in the morning & look forward to honoring & meeting Gene Wilder in the evening, celebrating his life & accomplishments. I am sure Gilda would be proud of his accomplishments & of how Gilda's Club continues to offer, hope, support & humor to families faced with cancer worldwide.

If you live in the NY, NJ or CT area, there is still time to RSVP for the free (but space is limited) workshops & open house & the gala evening event ($100 donation). For a schedule of the daytime events & to RSVP for either the workshops or the evening gala: www.yerwoodcenter.com/event/wings. For the Stamford Innovation Center's open house from 4 -6 please  RSVP here.

If you do come, please introduce yourself. I'd love to meet you.

What jokes have helped you through a tough time? I'd love to hear your stories.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Rich Man, Poor Man, Beggar Man, Dream! You Can't Afford Not to Dream!

Fighting Povery & Saving Landfills
How Can You Make Music From Broken Bottles?

Thought for the day: You can't afford not to dream.  In the current economic climate many people have survived several lay-offs only to find themselves overwhelmed by a workload they simply can’t manage. They drag themselves to work every single day, both fearing & hoping for a lay-off to occur. They feel stuck, but are truly afraid to consider leaving a steady paycheck behind. You may be thinking, “Dreams cost money & I’m already struggling financially.” Or, “I can’t afford to follow my dreams.” In this day & age, financial concerns are weighing on everyone’s minds. I read a billboard recently, which said: “Recession 101: Bill Gates Started Microsoft During a Recession.” There are creative ways to accomplish aspirations even when financial resources are tight. Visionaries, like Bill Gates, don’t let finances stop them from working toward their dreams. Instead, they find creative ways to finance them. Do financial constraints keep you from following your dreams?

People say, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” I believe, “Where there’s a dream, there’s a way.” Creative problem solving skills which foster innovation even when challenged by financial restraints are related to another Dream Quotient (DQ) ability which enables people to follow their dreams. There are multiple ways to start working on your dreams even with limited financial resources. In my book, some of the creative solutions used are presented like the inventor of the cute buttons, jibbitzes, that you can buy for Crocs, the colorful rubber sandals with holes. These decorative buttons that fit into the holes you see on Crocs were designed by a housewife, Sherry Schmeltzer.  Jibbitz is a company founded by Rich and Sheri Schmelzer.  Sherry initially made them for her daughter, but when her daughter’s friends suddenly wanted them too, she began making them out of her garage. To make a long story short, this previously unknown housewife’s idea became an overnight success & Crocs bought her company for a 20 million dollars,. Unfortunately, not every idea will lead to a million-dollar business, but every million-dollar business began with a creative idea. What creative talents & activities do you enjoy? Don’t ignore them! Find a way to incorporate them into your life.

Another way to finance your dreams is to continue working in a job while you develop your dreams on the weekends or evenings. I saw a woman on television who works during the day as a construction worker. At night & on weekends she spends her time making chocolate floral arrangements. Her creations are simply beautiful, very tasty, & very time consuming. With hard work & determination she has turned this into a small business. It is her passion—a true labor of love—& since it’s something she enjoys, it enhances her life until she can attain the wealth necessary to leave her day job far behind. There are many ways to learn the skills necessary for a new career before leaving a steady job. Nowadays, there are innovative weekend & night schools for most professions. You can even take courses online from the comfort of your own home. There are scholarships for working mothers & fathers, as well as internships & apprenticeships that are available. You can also volunteer in a new field in your spare time to see if the work is to your liking. As you investigate these types of exploratory experiences, you will also be building a resume that will help you land employment in the new field if you choose to pursue it.

Two of the Dream Nonprofit organizations, Music From A Bottle & Rock & Wrap It Up, featured in & benefiting from my book exemplify how you do not need a lot of money to follow your dreams.

The founder of Music From A Bottle was unemployed & trying to figure out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life before the idea for his organization came to him. He had been working as a counselor with a non-profit organization which assists youth infected with HIV, but he had recently been laid off. He was also a musician & wanted to get back into the music industry, but wasn’t sure how to just yet. Suddenly, the sound of breaking glass at the end of a concert became music to his ears. He saw how to turn those broken bottles into a way to bring music into his life while supplying music education to enhance the lives of underprivileged kids. In addition, he would be saving America’s landfills at the same time.

It is Music From A Bottle's goal to donate one instrument a month to K-12 school music programs, provide music instruction & music business education. Millions of beverage bottles, both glass & plastic, are disposed of annually. By collecting & recycling bottles from music festivals & restaurants, he would help clean up our global waste & find a purpose for those bottles by encouraging the musical development of children around the globe. To purchase The Wake Up And Dream Challenge & donate 1/2 of the profit to Music from A bottle, click here

It took Syd Mandlebaum several years to develop the idea of Rock & Wrap It Up. In the the summer of 1991 that Syd Mandlebaum started the recovery of food from Jones Beach Theater. This “rock star’ quality leftover food was recovered & brought directly to the soup kitchen Syd had helped found in 1987. Syd realized that if food was left over at one venue where rock bands played, food was potentially available at every concert venue in the United States & around the world. He dreamed of recovering all of it before it was dumped in landfills. This food could then be distributed to the hungry instead. His dream, Rock & Wrap it Up! was launched nationally Labor Day 1994.

Since its inception in 1991, Rock & Wrap It Up has: Donated to over 43,000 shelters & places of need; Collaborated with 60 sports franchises, 150 bands, & 200 schools; Collected more than 250 million pounds of food; & Fed more than 500 million people.

Rock & Wrap It Up! is an anti-poverty think tank. Using greening tactics, Rock & Wrap It Up! recovers food & other assets to agencies fighting poverty, increasing their operating budgets. This allows the agencies to hire more services such as tutors, social workers, job placement counselors & mental health counselors to attack the root cause of poverty. To purchase The Wake Up And Dream Challenge & donate 1/2 of the profits to Rock & Wrap It Up, click here.

Are financial constraints keeping you from following your dreams? Have you found creative ways to move toward your dreams? I'd love to hear about them.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Are You Too Old To Start Pursuing Your Dreams?
                   Ruth Eisner started an acting career at 88 years old

Thought for the day: It is never too late to be what you might have been. – George Eliot

How many times have you thought about doing something & stopped yourself because you felt you were too old to start something new? If Anna Marie Robertson Moses had taken that stance in her late 70's the world would have been deprived of the art of acclaimed artist better known as Grandma Moses. Is there a dream you have been stopping yourself from following because you feel you are too old? Write to me, tell me about your dream & I'll help you come up with a creative way to start moving towards that dream at any age.

About a month ago on a LinkedIn group of professional psychologists & therapists, a 33 year old posted the question: Is it too late to start a psychology degree at the age of 33? I wrote a response encouraging the student & explaining why I felt it was never too late to follow your dreams. Since then there have been so many e-mail responses encouraging the man to start on his degree that I had to stop following the discussion. Hundreds of psychologists have been telling him their stories of starting back to school or finishing their degrees in their 40's 50's & 60's.

The fact that the question came from a 33 year old, however, is thought provoking. What could lead someone so young to fear that they are too old to start working on a 4 year degree? My guess is that it has to do with the second danger sign I spoke about in an earlier post, Five Danger Signs That You May Be Undermining Your Dreams. It is related to a DQ factor that can be discovered by using the Dream Quotient Questionnaire (TM). This DQ factor is connected to difficulty adjusting to life transitions. The warning signs that you may need to do some work in this area are feeling that once you have started in one direction in your life, it is too late to change your course.

A similar dilemma arose for one of the clients, George, whom I story is included in my book. George was nearing graduation from college. He was only 21 but also afraid to change his path & follow new dreams. George had dreamed of becoming an EMT, like his father, from when he was a little boy. His parents encouraged him to go to college even though he wanted to start working as an EMT after completing high school. As a compromise, he did both. He worked part-time as a volunteer EMT throughout his college years. When he neared graduation he was still intent on continuing in his dream profession. A call to assist following a car accident changed the course of his life & led him to reevaluate his dreams.

George had been on tough calls before, but this one traumatized him. Perhaps it was the age of the victims who were college students like himself,  or the horrific nature of the accident, or graduation & being ready to start life in the "real" post college world which was just moths away, but George was suddenly unsure whether he was on the right path. For the first time in his life, he had no idea ofwhat he wanted to do with the rest of his life. He worked in therapy to overcome the trauma & was able to return to work as an EMT, but his heart was no longer in it. His Dream Positioning System (DPS) work helped him discover new directions & dreams. He chose to enroll in business school & to do volunteer work for Students Against Drunk Driving. He wanted to start doing work to prevent accidents like the one he had seen. He hoped to start a foundation to lobby against alcohol advertizing on college campuses.

D.R.E.A.M. Program
Ruth Eisner, the budding actress in the video clip at the beginning of this post was discovered because she lived in one of the residences run by Menorah Park in Ohio. Menorah Park's Dream program, which produced a YouTube video that went viral for Ruth, is one of the Dream Nonprofits featured in & benefiting from my book, The Wake Up And Dream Challenge. In addition to helping Ruth, they have helped senior citizens accomplish hundreds of dreams in the six years since the Dream Program was founded. They realized the impact  that unfulfilled dreams have on older adults as they near the end of their lives. Fulfilling their dreams, big or small gives senior citizens deep personal satisfaction, comfort & peace as they reckon with the final stages of their lives.

National media took notice when they arranged a call from an American Idol judge & a rock star for a seventy-two-pound woman with ALS. Camera crews swooped in for footage of a ninety-year-old woman’s thrilling ride on a motorcycle with the city’s Mayor. The media showed the world artistic vision can continue throughout life. Not only did they broadcast the story of a dream-come-true of a legally blind resident in his ‘90’s who displayed his stunning art in a gallery for the first time, but he also appeared for the first time on television. News of 13 couples who dreamed of renewing long-time wedding vows went international.

The community has become reeducated about the possibilities, vitality & richness that can & does exist in later years. Each person matters & each has unique energy & passion. Menorah Park believes in ensuring their residents are happy, loved & appreciated; their dreams matter to Menorah Park. How amazing it is that through excellence in communication the many forces of good can come together to make this time in residents’ lives a very special time when dreams come true.

I chose to include Menorah Park's Dream Program in my book to show that it is never too late to start on your path towards a dream. In addition to supporting this program, I hope that other centers for senior living will learn about it & initiate similar programs for their residents. If you would like to contribute to this amazing project, half of the profits from your purchase of The Wake Up And Dream Challenge will go to the Dream Program at Menorah Park Center for Senior Living.