Wake Up and Dream Catalyst: Short inspirational thoughts for the day. Raising questions & hopefully opening a dialogue with people interested in learning how to turn their dreams into plans and start navigating their way towards them.
Thought for the Day: Last week's massacres in France, followed by the powerful images from yesterday's Unity March in Paris and the parallels to the rallies following the end of World War II have been on my mind all week. I was not alive when Hitler was defeated. However, I have seen movies depicting the war and the liberation of France. During World War II, many people turned a blind eye to the atrocities perpetrated against the Jews, Gypsies, and the disabled. Americans were reluctant to enter the war until it landed on their soil and did not want to see that Anti-semitism and prejudice fueled the Nazi regime. The rally in France was the largest since it was liberated from the Nazi Germany. Unfortunately, today anti-semitism along with anti-democratic sentiments are fueling the terrorist movements. In the Charlie Hebdo massacre, Elsa Cayat, 54, the only woman killed in the attacks, was a psychiatrist, psychoanalyst and columnist who wrote a bi-monthly column, Le Divan. Cayat was believed to have been singled out because she was Jewish. The attack on a Kosher supermarket was also an intentional act of ant-semitism. Sadly, history is repeating itself. This time the world has an opportunity to do something to stop hate crimes.
Yesterday's march was in many ways a victory. It was a victorious statement of victory over fear. There has been an outpouring of support around the world on social media with hashtags #JeSuisCharlie leading to massive responses on twitter & social media. The rally attended by over a million people and leaders from around the world are a show of support for freedom, but I fear that it is too soon to celebrate. Sadly, it will take more than rallies and hashtags to win a war against extreme terrorists who want to wipe out modern civilization along with the freedom of speech and religious diversity. Read on to see why...
Thought for the day: When you start using the Dream Positioning System™ (DPS) it goes on automatic pilot. The end destination & dreams remain the same, but how you get there can shift & adjust as road conditions change & new circumstances arise. Dreams start falling into place & sometimes turn out even better than you originally planned. (Just in case you are wondering how many people read this blog, since January when I started writing it, there have been over 10,000 page views! Thank you for visiting & please share this site with your friends. Dreams are happening here!)
Lifelong Learning at Menorah Park
I knew that I would be going to Ohio this summer to be a Scholar in Residence at Menorah Park Senior Living Center. I was excited to have the opportunity to share my knowledge with a wonderful facility that helps senior citizens accomplish their dreams. I also planned to visit Richmond VA where I will be speaking about how Dream Positioning can help fight bullying to leaders of Elimination of Prejudice from colleges across the US & Canada at their national convention.
Originally my plan was to fly to Richmond & then to Cleveland, since the events are happening one right after the other. As the plans for the 2 events began to unfold, the idea of videotaping some of the conference participants about bullying & their dreams as part of my presentation arose. Initially, I had what I thought was a wild idea. Since I have a film student as one of my interns, I thought it might be helpful to have her come along. If I drove instead of flying to Richmond, I could see if Allie, my intern, could accompany me to Richmond. I would have to help her with bus fare back home, but thought it would be worth it to have her extra help & knowledge of film making. When I brought this idea up in my Dream Team meeting, the other interns asked if they could come as well. They volunteered to help with gas & to pay for their own lodging & expenses. I was touched & impressed by their enthusiasm & initiative.
I decided to ask Menorah Park if they would consider paying for the rental of a van to bring me & my team to both Virginia & Ohio. Even though it cost a bit more than airfare, Menorah Park generously agreed. They liked the idea of helping the other nonprofits included in the book & of having a cross generational element to the presentations along with some videotaping at their site as well.
Firehouse 15 Restaurant
Since Boaz & Ruth, a program that helps restore the lives of ex-convicts is in Richmond, I arranged for another event & book signing at the Firehouse 15 Restaurant which Boaz & Ruth operates. They may also help with some of the plans for the Elimination of Prejudice's workshops. I will be seeing if any of the other Dream Nonprofits featured in my book would like to have our Dreams On Wheels Van stop by while we are en route!
The power of Dream Positioning never ceases to amaze me! More news will be forthcoming about this tour! If you live anywhere on the route, we would love to hear from you & would appreciate any ideas of places to have a book signing.
Thought for the day: I made a one minute video for today's blog. It is a poem written by Lynn Frederick. If you are a parent, please share it with your children & speak with them about bullying. If you are a teacher consider sharing it with your classroom & start a discussion about bullying & how it hurts children who may already be suffering. If you ever bullied anyone, think about finding them & apologizing. It took 25 years for Lynn Frederick to share this with her classmates who were brought to tears & apologized (See the story in a Huffington Post article). It should not take 25 years to stop the epidemic of bullying. We must teach our children, parents, teachers & our broader communities to be caring & supportive of one another. To eliminate prejudice & bullying, we are all responsible for making respect & tolerance for differences a priority.
I hope this will help you ask & answer some difficult questions. Start the discussion. Please share this with parents, teachers, students & friends.
As always, I would love to hear your thoughts & comments on this post & how it helped you open up this difficult, important discussion.
Thought for the day: Last night I got an e-mail from my friend, Denise Restauri. She sent me a link to an article she wrote for Forbes, "New Facebook App: What Are You Waiting for? Go Make Some Enemies!". She reported on a new Facebook App which enables making lists of your enemies, People & things you "hate." I read it & was outraged. I commented, shared it on Facebook & LinkedIn, I Tweeted in protest, & Google+ed it. This morning, I woke up & I realized I needed to do more & I will need your help with this one. If you want to help stop Facebook from promoting this APP, please comment here. I will forward all comments to Facebook directly.
Denise's article tries to be fair in it's presentation of the facts about EnemyGraph.com. The site was developed in Dean Terry’s research group at UT Dallas' Emerging Media + Communication program by
graduate student, Bradley Griffith, with assistance from an undergraduate, Harrison Massey. They say they developed it because, “Most social networks attempt to connect people based on
affinities: you like a certain band or film or sports team, I like them,
therefore we should be friends. But people are also connected &
motivated by things they dislike. Alliances are created, conversations
are generated, friendships are stressed, stretched, &/or enhanced.” They see “EnemyGraph as a critique of Facebook's social philosophy.
Denise also reports that EnemyGraph may have some fun elements. She notes that, if the app were to be used just to list
things & places we hate, it might not be so bad. If you hate beer & join other beer haters, for instance. I agree with Denise, I'd rather make friends
on positive connections, but joining together over hating beer isn’t
harmful. Unfortunately an app like EnemyGraph will not stop there. As Denise surmises, it will give "bullies & people with a sick sense of humor a great way to
bully & attack. It’s another example of “Absolutely nothing good can come of this.”
If the developers thought this was cute or funny, they need to think again. It's potential could be deadly. #Cyberbullying has already been a contributing factor in #depression, #schoolphobias, & even #suicides among teens. We do not need a Facebook app to encourage #bullying, #discrimination & #prejudice. I have spent my professional life using positive psychology to fight the fallout of #abuse & #bullying on the mental health of thousands of my clients. If you want to help stop this app, please comment below & I will forward all comments to Facebook. Thanks!
Thought for Today: The Psychology of Social Media is strongly connected to what I called the Psychology of Unexpected Adventures in an earlier post on March 23rd. Unexpected adventures bring joy & sometimes help us shift direction in life. Some people call these events serendipity, the law of attraction or fate, but I think it is something different. The March 23rd post led me to discover a wonderful new product capable of helping multiple causes. I'd like to share their story as an example of the connection between social media & the Psychology of Unexpected Adventuress. How has social media led to an unexpected discovery or adventure for you? I'd love to hear your stories.
I saw a very funny, touching film yesterday at the Garden Cinemas , in Norwalk CT. We try to see all the movies played at this wonderful 4 screen art house, since they show films you may not find at the bigger establishments. I knew nothing about the movie, but trusted that it would be good if they brought it. I was not disappointed. I had not realized that Susan Sarandan was one of the stars along with Jason Segal, Ed Helms, & Judy Greer in the movie, Jeff Lives At Home. I don't want to ruin the movie for you, but in one sentence, getting out of your normal routine often leads to unexpected adventures. Jeff's mother, Susan Sarandan, is worried about him & her one birthday wish is for him to buy wood glue at Home Depot & fix a wooden slat on a louvered door on her closet. Jeff sees everything as signs of his destiny. He follows all the "signs" when he ventures out of the basement to go to Home Depot.
Jeff, (Jason Segal) who lives at home & is going nowhere in life, but he is not the only onewho is stuck. All the main characters in this movies are dissatisfied with their lives in one way or another. His mother (Susan Sarandan) is working hard at a job, but is lonely & dislikes both her sons. Ed Helms plays Jeff's brother who turns to extravagant purchases to try to fill the void he's feeling in his marriage. His wife, played by Judy Greer, is having an affair. She is looking for someone to pay attention to her, since she feels misunderstood by her husband. Each of the characters change their normal routine on the day reported in the movie & have unexpected adventures. In the movie, we only see one day in their lives, so we can only guess & hope that the adventures lead to changes in their lives.
You may be thinking, what does this have to do with the psychology of social media? I have loved the internet since I first started using it about 12 years ago. I have been able to "meet" people through the internet that I would never have met in real life without this technology. When I started using twitter last May, I did so since everyone in the world of publishing seemed to think it was important. Personally, I thought it was a silly platform where people tweeted about what they were eating for lunch. By the end of the summer, my view of twitter was totally different. I had used the platform to build several thousand followers including NPOs, authors, musicians, psychologists, philanthropists, & journalists interested in social activism. I discovered some (@BlindJudo, @Elimin8Prejudic, @VABC & @MusicFromABottle) of the NPOs included in my book through twitter. Many nonprofit organizations found me.
On March 23rd, on this blog, I asked readers to share their stories of unexpected adventures in their lives. I posted a tweet to my now 7500 followers on three twitter handles (@WakeUpDreamNow, @DreamNonProfits, & @PostTweetDreams). Three minutes later, here's what happened:
WakeUpDreamNow:
Are you open to unexpected discoveries & dreams? Amazing things can happen on the path to your dreams. See how... Link8:31am, Mar 23 from Facebook
(The only change I made was to update the links which were no longer active!)
With over 7000 followers, I had not read about Eraselet before this twitter encounter. When I read their story, I loved it & promised to write about it after last Thursday's event Wings of Change at which I was preparing to speak along with other authors, philanthropists, educators & NPOs dedicated to changing the world.
Behind @Eraselet is Bryan Ricci, another person on a mission to help change the world. His story can give hope to anyone who is struggling at this time. At age 15, Brian lived on the streets of Nashville. He was sleeping under bridges. Brian hopped from couch to couch to survive. “I
didn’t know what to do,” Ricci said. “And then one day … I had this
crazy moment. I hitchhiked to California, got a job waiting tables &
turned my life around.” Fast forward, 16 years & now Brian at 31 is married with children & working to help others
avoid the path he took as a teenager.
His current unexpected adventure started when Brian's 10 year old daughter kept losing erasers. Brian's wife, Kimberly Ricci, says that, "knowing how kids wear all those bands &
bracelets around their wrists, Bryan told her he’d make her an eraser
she could wear like (a bracelet).’’ He invented a rubber wristband, called an Eraselet, that doubles as
an eraser. The wristband can be used as a marketing tool to promote slogans such as “Erase Hunger.” For the
Metropolitan Homelessness Commission, “End Homelessness.” So the once homeless father, has found a way to help others erase homelessness & endless other causes.
I believe that once we decide to make a change in our lives & start moving towards our dreams, we begin to make changes which lead us to unexpected discoveries & adventures. Whether we get out in the real world or the virtual world of social media, we begin to discover people, organizations & ideas that can help us move forward towards our dreams. It is not some magical process even though it may seem magical. When you are stuck & start doing things differently, it becomes like a chain reaction leading to new opportunities. I hope this post brings multiple new opportunities for Brian's wonderful invention & reaches as many charities as possible!
What discoveries & encounters have you had using social media? I'd love to hear your stories!
Red Tails: UNSUNG HEROES of WWII finally get the proper recognition on the screen
Thought for the day: It is ironic that wars sometimes help in the battle against prejudice. What other ways have you found that help in the fight to eliminate
prejudice? There are many other amazing programs that help. Please share
them with me.
I hate war. I hate war movies as well. Usually I avoid violent movies like the plague. I cannot tolerate violence in films. This weekend, however, after hearing about Red Tails on Charlie Rose, I decided to see the film. I admit there were a few scenes when I had to turn my head away from the screen, but I was glad I went. I knew the story of the first African-American pilots to fly in a combat squadron during World War II before coming to the theater. I saw the PBS documentary, The Tuskegee Airmen - They Fought Two Wars, a few years ago. However, Hollywood has a way of fighting prejudice by relaying stories that get to the heart, whereas, documentaries avoid these emotions since they try to be more objective. Movies, therefore, are one of the most powerful tools in fighting prejudice, especially if followed by thoughtful discussion.
I won't ruin the movie for you, but I had mixed emotions of shame, anger &
pride in my country while watching the story of the Tuskegee Airmen. I was ashamed that my country, in the midst of a war against a tyrant who justified genocide of human beings for religious beliefs, race, disabilities, or ethnicity could treat citizens fighting for their country with such prejudice & disrespect. I was angry that time was wasted holding back & endangering such heroic brave men given inadequate planes while the crematories were killing millions of people. But as I watched, I also was proud of the progress that our military & our country has made since WWII.
I am a strong believer that good things often happen due to tragedies. The Tuskegee Airmen did fight two battles. History shows us that they won on both fronts. How much as changed was evident yesterday when President Obama used the military example as a model for congress. He said, "We can
learn from the service of our troops... When you put on that
uniform, it doesn’t matter if you’re black or white, Asian or Latino,
conservative or liberal, rich or poor, gay or straight. When
you’re marching into battle, you look out for the person next to you, or
the mission fails, ...When you’re in the thick of the
fight, you rise or fall as one unit, serving one nation, leaving no one
behind.” Ironically, war is a second way to fight prejudice. However, since I am a pacifist at heart, I would never start a real war to try to end prejudice.
The third & forth ways are related to education as a means to eliminate prejudice. Two very different nonprofit organizations featured in my book, The Wake Up And Dream Challenge, are helping to fight the war on prejudice. The first, Camp Young Judaea, TX, is a camp I attended for nine years from when I was 8 to 17 years old. The second, Elimination of Prejudice, has dedicated its efforts to the battle against prejudice since 1895.
You may be wondering why I believe that a Jewish summer camp is one of the ways to eliminate prejudice. This camp is geared towards offering it's campers a huge dose of Jewish education. It encourages campers to build pride in their heritage & lifelong commitment to Jewish values. Those two variables are what make it a powerful way to fight prejudice. I believe that pride in one's heritage is the foundation of tolerance for others. Bigotry is based on ignorance & feelings of inferiority. When someone feels strong & confident, they do not need to put down others. A strong person is not intimidated by the strengths of other people. Every religion, race & ethnicity has strengths, weaknesses & rich legacies. Differences should be welcomed as opportunities for enrichment not reasons to try to change or overpower one another. (I will leave analysis of famous tyrant's inferiority complexes to others at this time, but much has been written on the topic.)
Camps have some similarities to the army. Kids often arrive without knowing any of their bunk mates. They come from divergent towns, socioeconomic & educational backgrounds. Some kids are thin, others overweight, some are pretty, others less attractive. They all need to learn how to live together in tight quarters with new rules & a busy schedule. Learning to be tolerant & accepting of differences is part of the education that a great camp like CYJ TX gives to its campers. The entire camp program instills the value of social tolerance & respect. Each year there is a slightly different program, but campers are also taught that, "You & I can change the world." I sang those words & have lived my life changing the world by helping my clients change their worlds. I hope that my book will help open conversations between leaders from camps from all religions & ethnic backgrounds to learn from one another ways to eliminate prejudice while building pride in one's heritage. I believe that my involvement in Camp Young Judaea - TX instilled this in me. To purchase The Wake Up And Dream Challenge & donate to CYJ-TX click here: http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-wake-up-and-dream-challenge/18758612.
The fourth way to eliminate prejudice is one of the most powerful ways. This program is the oldest organization featured in my book. The origins of Elimination of Prejudice transcend many generations, however, it’s mission remains just as relevant today as in its early years. College, like the army & camp, bring varied people together in close quarters where they must learn to co-exist. It is perhaps the last time when educational institutions can help change prejudices due to ignorance in an organized fashion. In 1895, three Yale University students founded the first fraternal order open to all men without regard to race, religion or creed. In that historic moment, not only was Pi Lambda Phi International Fraternity born, but a movement dedicated to advocating a better understanding between people began. Since it’s inception, the movement has helped more than 46,000 members develop an appreciation for participating in, & building inclusive environments where people with varied perspectives, skills & experiences collaborate.
But it wasn’t until Jules Lennard formally established “The Elimination of Prejudice” in 1996 that the movement had an official name. Lennard was a trail blazer—a staunch advocate for people dealing with discrimination. Lennard’s story began many years earlier with his Olympic dreams. After joining Pi Lambda Phi’s University of Wisconsin chapter in 1934, Lennard was selected for the 1936 US Olympic Soccer team. Lennard was excitedly on his way to the Olympic games when the United States Olympic Committee informed him they could not guarantee his safety due to his Jewish heritage. Lennard would, therefore, not be permitted to leave the ship. At that time, Germany was ruled by Adolf Hitler’s Nazi party & their intentions were to showcase Aryan ideals & prowess. Lennard’s lifelong dreams of representing the United States in the Olympics were ultimately prevented by Anti-Semitism.
Despite this set back, Lennard closely followed fellow Olympian Jesse Owens’ experience. Owens was an African-American track & field athlete representing the United States. He achieved international fame by winning four gold medals during the Berlin Olympics. In fact, Owens was the most successful athlete at the 1936 Summer Olympics, a poignant rebuke to Adolf Hitler. Lennard’s Olympic experience had a lasting impact. He returned home committed to advocating a better understanding between people & determined to confront discrimination & segregation head on.
Today, the EOP movement is active on 40 college campuses & universities across the U.S. & Canada. To continue setting the conditions for sensitive societal conversations to take place, the 1st Annual International Elimination of Prejudice Day will be held February 8th, 2012. Students on twenty college campuses & universities across the U.S. & Canada are organizing panel discussions. Companion student organizations (religious, political, race, etc.) are being asked to co-host events. Students are encouraged to invite college faculty & staff, including the Director of Diversity Affairs, to serve as event facilitators. To learn more about Elimination of Prejudice visit their website at www.eliminateprejudice.org. To purchase my book & donate to Elimination of Prejudice go to http://www.lulu.com/product/18748563.
What other ways have you found that help in the fight to eliminate prejudice? There are many other amazing programs that help. Please share them with me.
