Part V: Deep in the Heart of Texas Gratitude Project Update

Who has recognized your abilities & helped you find your passion & reach your dreams?

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Thought for the Day: ‎

 "When your actions do not match your values, you will always find dissonance."

Patti Blackstaffe 

"When your actions match your values, you will always find passion!" 

Dr Barbara Lavi

 (Thanks to The Life Change Network on Facebook for the quote which inspired me.)

      Cognitive dissonance is a psychological concept which describes the discomfort one feels when one's actions do not match their values. If cognitive dissonance is strong enough, it can change the course of a person's life. Read on to see how my guidance counselor, Barbara Edwards' vision & support not only changed the life of her student, but also. enabled them to find their passion & help make the world a safer place.

      As e-mails & facebook posts come in for my Gratitude Project I have been posting them on the blog & forwarding them to Ms. Edwards. This e-mail came in a week or so ago. I always request permission before posting someone's message on the blog. I just got permission for this one yesterday. It is in sharp contrast to the e-mail  which led to my previous post: You Don"t Have to Be Pollyanna or Wear Rose Colored Glasses to be a Dreamer. I was very moved by Martha's 1st e-mail & even more impressed when I heard more details in the 2nd e-mail, therefore, I decided to share it today. The contrast between the anonymous post I discussed in my last post & these two e-mails is striking. It shows how, as I said in an earlier post, one person really can do so much. If more people would go the extra mile it could make the difference between the life experiences of those we encounter in our lives. As I said in my response to the anonymous commenter,  I wish they had been one of Ms. Edward's students. Here's Martha, one of the people helped by Ms. Edward's e-mail:

Hello Dr. Lavi,

     I saw your post on the Bellaire Alumni FB page & I went to the link.  I read about your  gratitude project for Barbara Edwards & I could not believe it!!  Ms. Edwards changed my life!  I am who I am today because of her & I have always wanted to thank her, but have not been  able to find her.  I would love to be able .. to tell her how she changed my life & to thank her...

     I live in Missouri City in the Houston suburbs.  I graduated from Bellaire in 1980.  Thanks to  Ms. Edwards, in late June/early July of 1980 after I had graduated, I won a four year  scholarship to the university of my choice.  Because of that, she helped me to apply & get  accepted into Rice University long after the application deadline.  At Rice I met my husband  & we both got our degrees in Chemical Engineering.  My son is now a junior at Rice University.   All of this would not have happened if it were not for Ms. Edwards.

Thanks,

Martha

     In Martha's follow up e-mail, I learned more about her life story that makes it even more inspiring. Martha told me that, "Ms. Edwards knew that it would be difficult for my family to pay for my college, so she had me apply to every scholarship that came past her desk.  I was a  finalist in just about all of them, but the only scholarship I won was the one for a four year,  full ride to the school of my choice, plus it included a job every summer during college. That is how I was able to afford Rice University."

     After graduating, Martha worked at Rohm & Haas in the cyanide unit, making the acrylics for Plexiglass, which was their trademark.  While Martha was working there, the horrible cyanide accident happened in Bhopal, India. After the accident, her job centered around safety & environmental issues. When she she left Rohm & Haas, she continued working at environmental consulting companies.  She is now self employed & has a contract with an environmental engineering consulting company.  One of her jobs is to translate MSDSs from English into Spanish for chemical products that are sent to Mexico & South America. 

     By helping Martha find a way to go to college, Ms. Edwards also helped  her make a significant contribution to a cleaner & safer environment following a tragic accident. It is clear that Martha's actions matched her values & she found her passion in helping to make the world a safer place using her knowledge of chemical engineering & passion for safety.

       Ms. Edwards saw Martha's  talent & encouraged her to follow her dreams, despite her family's financial constraints. Who has helped you by recognizing your abilities to find your passion & follow your dreams?  I hope you will share your stories & remember to thank those who helped you along the way.

Part IV: Help Me Start A Gratitude Project Deep in the Heart of Texas

Eva Cassidy Over the Rainbow Live at Blues Alley, Washington DC in 1996

Thought for the Day: In this fourth post in the Deep in the Heart of Texas series, I am starting with another version of Over the Rainbow by Eva Cassidy & closing it with her version of John Lennon's Imagine. Although the story behind Eva Cassidy's amazing voice & talent is inspirational, I will save that story for another post. Today, I am sharing these wonderful recordings with you & with someone who was an "Over the Rainbow" person for me in hopes that it will give her joy. My wish is that you (I know you are out there since I have had close to 5,500 page views since January) will help me today by sharing your stories of gratitude with that person. She is wheelchair bound & doesn't get out much. Read on & I hope you will take a few minutes & help me by sharing your comments, e-mails or cards, so that they can be forwarded to a special person to help brighten her days.

My visit to Texas, as many of you know from my previous posts, had many highs & some lows. It was an emotional, nostalgic visit. During my visit, I reconnected with what I called "Over the Rainbow" places & people who helped me believe in my ability to accomplish my dreams. Before I went to the Camp Young Judaea TX reunion, I paid a visit to Bellaire High School. The school seems to have tripled in size since I attended. The student body has changed & is now populated with immigrants taking advantage of the opportunities the American Dream has to offer. As I entered the building from a side entrance, I realized that the guidance office was exactly where it was when I worked there in my Junior & Senior year of high school. I decided to start there to donate my book to the school. The office also looked exactly the same, actually it seemed smaller than I remember, but often perception of space changes as we get older & see the world.

A student aide asked if she could help me. I told her I was a graduate & that I wanted to speak with someone about donating my new book to the school. She went into an office. A moment later, the head of the counseling department, Charles Lawler, came out to greet me. I introduced myself, told him about my book & asked for his help in deciding where it would be best placed in the school. He offered to read it & share it with the other counselors. He promised to then, either leave it in the counseling department's library or transfer the book to the main library of the school, whichever place will be most beneficial to students. Since we were in the same office my guidance counselor & mentor, Barbara Edwards,  had occupied, I asked how she was doing. I had not seen her for at least twenty years on an earlier visit to Houston. He was not sure where she was, but gave me the name of a facility where he thought she might be. I did some research & decided to visit Ms. Edwards to give her a copy of my book.

Ms. Edwards had been an amazing counselor & role model for me. There were 1,000 students in my graduating class. How she remembered everyone's name & interests was phenomenal. She always remembered graduates who would come to visit, as well. She cared about every one of them & encouraged them to reach for their dreams. When I graduated, I was surprised when I received a $1,000 scholarship for which she had nominated me. She worked at Bellaire High from 1957 till she retired as the head of the department in 1995.

Over the course of her career, she helped at least 30, 000 teenagers start on their way to their dreams. Two are famous actors, Randy & Dennis Quaid, others are doctors, lawyers, psychologists, businessmen & architects. I don't know how often people come back to thank their teachers & guidance counselors for their help, but that is what I wanted to do one more time. In my mind, Ms. Edwards will always be the youthful vibrant role model of my high school years.

Her life today is far different & it was hard for me. As always, she greeted me by name. She continues to live with simple dignity in a small room taking joy from the company of her cat, television, cards & photos from family on the walls, & visitors. When I asked if the facility arranges to take her outside, she said, "This is where I spend most of my time." I gave her my book, thanked her for all she did for me & left feeling sad that I could do so little for her.

After I left Ms. Edwards, I dropped my book off at Temple Emanu El, the synagogue where I went to religious school as a child. I had made an appointment with the current Rabbi, who happens to be married to the grandson of Rabbi Robert I Kahn, another "over the Rainbow" person for me. He was more than inspirational, in the eyes of a child (& many adults for that matter) he was the personification of "God." I told young Rabbi Kahn about my visit with Ms. Edwards. She assured me that I had done what I could & that she must have been touched by my visit, but I wanted to do more. I had no idea what I could do & did not like how it made me feel powerless.

I woke up the next day with the idea to write a blog post about Ms. Edwards & to ask you to help me brighten her life. I will make sure this post gets to the Bellaire High School Alumni Facebook Page, but I would like your help even if you did not know Ms. Edwards. I spoke with her niece & she will make sure that her aunt, gets all comments or e-mails that you send to me (so that you can add pictures or music videos) (my e-mail is DrBarbaraLavi@ACTNowPsychotherapy.com). If you would like to send a physical card, you can send it to my office at 15 Beaver brook Road Weston CT 06883 & I will make sure Barbara Edwards gets it. If you did not know her tell her how a teacher or guidance counselor helped you believe in yourself & reach for your dreams. How they woke you up & got you back on path if you were headed in the wrong direction. If you did know her, I'm sure she will appreciate hearing from you personally. Rest assured she miraculously still seems to remember everyone! She likes cards, photos & cats, so be creative. I hope she likes the music I selected & the wonderful photos from the music video as well.

In the last post we spoke about paying it forward, in this one I want your help to pay it back & join me in this gratitude project! Thank you all in advance for your help!

                                                   Eva Cassidy Imagine by John Lennon