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Retreat Reviews: "I thought my dreaming days were over, but since leaving my teaching job, I have started a new career and my husband and I are exploring China for two years!! Dream Positioning works for both of us as we move forward together..." -Shulah S. Retreat Participant "My wife and I attended a retreat run by Dr. Lavi years ago. Things we learned still help us keep things exciting!" -Bill and JoAnn H., previous participant

Monday, September 30, 2013

Motivational Mondays: Did Breaking Bad Disappoint You? Could Someone Have Learned From Their Experiences?



Thought for the Day: As you know from my post at the beginning of the last season of Breaking Bad, I am the most unexpected fan of Breaking Bad. I watched each episode of the final series & was surprised & intrigued. I was expecting a grand finale. The reviewers are giving it high marks, however, I was disappointed. I've come to expect brilliant writing & acting. The show consistently raised conflicted feelings & ethical dilemmas. Somehow, with all the hype & predictions of possible endings, the last episode didn't work for me.

I tend to have viewed the show through a complex psychological lens with a grain of humor in the mix. I know it is television & appreciate the fact that as real as they try to make it seem, it is fiction. However, the final episode failed to move me. Having watched the demise of the Breaking Bad characters over the course of several years, I thought I would care more about their fate. I tend to get emotional about movies & characters in films. I still remember the shock & grief I felt when Gary Shepherd (played by Peter Horton) died during the final season of "Thirty Something" in a chain-reaction car accident (ironic since he is a bicyclist and hates cars). I felt like I lost an old friend.

Therefore, why didn't this show move me? Was it because it was clear that Walter White (Bryan Cranston) was already dying from cancer? Or was it because Walt was becoming more & more revengeful, cruel & greedy? Had I stopped feeling empathy for him before he even died? Somehow, it felt like no one, Walt included, seemed to learn from their experiences. Walt's goodbye to his wife, Skylar (Anna Gunn) fell short because he did not even apologize for what he had put her & his family through. Although he did not pull the trigger, he did not take any responsibility for the killing of his brother-in-law. Let's face it, his brother-in-law would not have been killed if Walt had not called the hit men & told them where to find Jesse. I did not want to feel like Walter, Jr., Flynn, (RJ Mitte) who told him, "Why don't you die already," but I think I did.

Somehow, the fact that I didn't care tells me the ending simply did not work. I always felt that Walt was more than a sociopathic murderer & drug kingpin. To me he was a man who made tragic mistakes. Once he moved towards crime while justifying it with a desire to provide for his family after he died from cancer, he kept sinking deeper & deeper into a moral abyss. In the end, he seemed to justify his actions by the fact that he liked it, was good at it & it made him feel alive. I think I'd rather see his attraction to the dark side as his way of avoiding & denying his fear of cancer & death.

People will talk about the show & it's multi-layered meanings for years, but I think the writers missed the opportunity to convey some kind of message other than to show there are creative ways to take advantage of your greed beyond the grave & to take revenge on those who cross you as your last efforts in life. Even Jesse's escape was connected to his graphic revenge against Todd, whom he kills bare handedly & Walt by not following his request to shoot him.

Negative experiences can motivate people to change their lives & feel remorse. Breaking Bad did not need to have a Pollyanna happy ending, but it could have done more than simply reinforce the importance of power, intimidation, greed & revenge. One would have expected Walt to have had more complex mixed emotions about his & his family's demise.

I almost forgot my Trivia question at the beginning of the end of the series. I asked what song Walt should be listening to. The writers got that one right, according to The Hollywood Reporter, the song ,
     "Baby Blue's" lyrics are appropriate for the end of Walt's journey, with lines such as  "I guess I got what I deserved" & "I would show the special love I have for you, my baby blue." On The Talking Bad, show creator Vince Gilligan said the scene in which the song is used illustrated Walt's love for his blue product." The sad song, according to the psychological study I reported previously, may have helped Walt feel less "blue."

What do you think? Could "Breaking Bad" have done more to shed light on why Breaking Bad even if you like it, are good at it, & dying, is not the way to lead your life? How would you have ended the series?

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Sunday's Comics: Stroller Parking Rules (Parents Take Note)


Thought for the Day: I just uploaded a chrome browser on my computer which has been giving me trouble for a while. It looks like my old browser was the cause of all my problems! What a relief! I also found this very funny Stroller Parking Sign for today's comic strip. I think most parents will appreciate it! Have a wonderful Sunday!

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Saturday's Songs for the Soul: A Bushel and a Peck & A Grandmother's Love


Thought for the Day: Last week, I asked people to share songs can have a strong psychological impact on us by bringing back positive feelings from the past, like a "pocket full of star shine" saved for a "rainy day" in the song "Catch a Falling Star" does for me. Today, I'd like to share one of your stories and songs. It came from Lisa Lewis, MD.

Here's the conversation we had on Google+ about her pocket full of star shine song, which she did not seem to realize where the memories and good feelings came from:



Lisa Lewis, MD
Sep 23, 2013
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Lovely. What a positive message. I have long sang Amazing Grace and....believe it or not... "I love you, a Bushel and a Peck....."!  Now there's an oldy.

Barbara Lavi
Sep 23, 2013
+Lisa Lewis, MD
There must be a story behind the bushel & a peck for you. Who would sing it to you? Do you remember specific times when you sang it as a child? I have taught my children songs that were special to me & hope they will teach their kids...

Lisa Lewis, MD
Sep 23, 2013
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+Barbara Lavi You are spot on. My beloved grandmother used to sing "Bushel and a Peck" to us. I truly can't recall singing it as a child. Yes, it's so enjoyable to pass these songs down. Thank you for sharing your post.

Barbara Lavi
Sep 23, 2013
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+Lisa Lewis, MD So the song brings back that wonderful feeling of a grandmother's love which you can pass on to your children. That reminds me of another experience which I will write about soon that brings back my grandmother's love. Thanks for sharing this. Can I post it on the blog?

Lisa Lewis, MD
Sep 23, 2013
Reply
Of course. It is a wonderful memory and my pleasure. Her name was Nadine.

So today, I dedicate "I Love You a Bushel and a Peck" to Nadine who used a catchy love song to let her granddaughter, Lisa, know how much she loved her. Her feelings live on for her granddaughter years later. Although the song is dated, the sentiment comes through loud & clear.  

"A Bushel and a Peck," is from the musical "Guys and Dolls." Since the musical was first performed in 1950,  it has had numerous revivals & is a popular choice for school and community theater productions. The music & lyrics were written by Frank Loesser. It was based on the book was by Jo Swerling & Abe Burrows. According to Wikipedia, "the book was based on two short stories by Damon Runyon,[1] "The Idyll of Miss Sarah Brown" and "Blood Pressure" and also borrows characters & plot elements from other Runyon stories – most notably "Pick the Winner".[2] This rendition is by legendary actress & singer, Doris Day.


I will share other songs that you tell me about in subsequent weeks, so if this triggers memories of songs that feed your soul, please tell me about the song & the story that goes with it. Have a wonderful weekend!

Friday, September 27, 2013

Friday's Fabulous Finds: The Importance of Consequences for Misbehavior, Focus for Children's Mental Health, & Myths About Creativity

Thought for the Day: I was away from my office today till now, therefore, I am just getting to Friday's Fabulous Finds.  This week three articles focus on issues related to children, adolescents, & parenting. I was excited to see that a High School football coach took action when he heard members of his team were bullying others online & that their behavior & studies were less than exemplary. It was also good to hear that parents were supportive of the coaches decision.  The parents in Stephentown could learn from their Utah counterparts.  The second fins concerns why kids need to learn to focus & how parents & teachers can help them.  Finally the third find challenges some myths about creativity.  Here they are:

1) Utah High School Football Coach Suspends Entire Team Amid Reports Of Cyberbullying

2) An Open Letter To The Parents Of The Stephentown 300

3) What Helps Kids Focus Better -- and Why They Need Help 

4) Everything You Thought You Knew About Creativity Is Wrong

I hope you have a wonderful weekend! Tomorrow, on Saturday's Songs for the Soul, I will share one of my followers story & a song that has helped her over the years.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Thursday's Psychology Trivia Answer: Would You Help If A Friend Told You They Were Being Abused By Their SpouseAt Home?


Thought for the Day: On Tuesday I asked : What percentage of women who disclosed that they were suffering from domestic violence or had been sexually assaulted were helped by a friend after speaking up about it?
           a) 59%
           b) 85%
           c) 42%
           d) 75%

Sadly, although 54 million Americans have been victims of domestic violence and 32 million have been a victim of sexual assault. 60 percent of Americans know a victim of domestic violence or sexual assault, the answer to the question is  c.  Only 42% of respondents who were told by a friend about suffering from domestic violence or sexual abuse, helped their friend. In another study, when people were asked if they thought they would help someone they knew in the same situation, 75% said they would. Given how hard ot is for people to speak up when they are being abused, these results are disappointing. There will be a campaign to raise public awareness to the problem. Hopefully it will help move more people to action when they hear about someone dealing with domestic violence or abuse. You can read more about it here, Inaction May Compound the Problem of Domestic Violence from the website Everyday Health.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Tuesday's Psychology Trivia: If A Friend Was a Victim of Domestic Violence, What Would You Do?



Thought for the Day: 54 million Americans have been victims of domestic violence and 32 million have been a victim of sexual assault. 60 percent of Americans know a victim of domestic violence or sexual assault. If you knew a friend was suffering from domestic violence or had been sexually assaulted, what would you do? Given the size of this problem in the United States, what do you think the answer to today's trivia question is:

What percentage of women who disclosed that they were suffering from domestic violence or had been sexually assaulted were helped by a friend after speaking up about it?
           a) 59%
           b) 85%
           c) 42%
           d) 75%

Come back on Thursday for the answer.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Motivational Monday: Get Involved & Feel More Motivated


Thought for the Day: When I am not sure what to write about, I visit various web pages & read other people's posts on facebook & google+. I always find something that inspires me. Today, I found this quote by Ben Franklin on a a Google+ group called +Parenting Tips (10 and under) which is hosted by +Helen Neale. Not only has the quote withstood the test of time, but it also made me think about another aspect of involvement related to motivation. In addition to learning better when we become involved in the process of acquiring knowledge, we also become more motivated to accomplish things when we feel involved.

When we feel isolated or discouraged about something, we feel less motivated. The power of getting involved can be seen in the empowering feeling of being part of a group like MADD & seeing how their efforts have helped change the laws about driving while intoxicated.

If you are feeling unmotivated, find a cause. Get involved. It will help keep you motivated. Have you ever found that by getting involved, you became more motivated to do things? I'd love to hear your experiences. Have a great start to the new week!