How to Overcome DreamBusters Part III: John Quinones What Would You Do To Stomp Out Bullying of the Blind?

Thought for the Day:  Sometimes you have to learn to fall to learn to stand tall. Have you ever wondered why toddlers love to play the game of "Ring Around the Rosie," over & over again? Why do they love falling down & getting back up? As a psychologist, I believe it is more than just a game. They are learning an important life lesson. Toddlers are new to walking. You can't learn to walk without falling. By playing the game, they are mastering the art of falling down without getting hurt & building resilience & self confidence. 

In this longer post which is taken from a longer article posed today on PRWeb. The article  announces a joint campaign I am launching with The Blind Judo Foundation supporting the fact that October is National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month. In this post, I take the importance of of learning to fall to another level. I hope you will comment & share this with your friends & family. If you have any friends at ABC, feel free to share it there as well!

In the popular ABC TV show, "What Would YouDo?," with John Quinones events are staged by actors to see what people do when confronted with hurtful actions by people in public places. Here's some “What would you do?” parenting dilemmas to consider:

Imagine that your child is blind. Constantly, you warn them about falling down. They want to learn to ride a bicycle, but keep falling and hurting themselves. You fear for their safety, but want them to have a normal life. What would you do? 

Neighborhood kids take your child to the playground. Hours later, a stranger calls. Your child was left stranded in the park not knowing how to get home. What would you do?

In high school, teenagers taunt the students who guide your child through from class to class. Calling them gay or stupid. What would you do? 

Would you try to shelter your child? Would you take the bicycle and tell them it is too dangerous? Would you seclude your child in schools for the blind and avoid neighborhood kids who fail to understand that bullying the blind is cruel and unacceptable?

All parents struggle to keep children safe while encouraging them to dream, but it is more challenging for parents of blind children since the statistics (75% ofblind adults are unable to support themselves financially) are stacked against dreams of independent living. I spoke with Ron Peck, co-founder of the Blind Judo Foundation, Lori Pierce and her parents to understand what helps 30% of blind adults become self-sufficient following their dreams.

Lori Pierce's parents grappled with safety issues daily as they raised their adopted daughter, Lori who is blind. Miraculously, they gave her the confidence to not only ride a bike, but also to run track and play modified soccer. They practiced what I calls "dream parenting," encouraging their children to follow their dreams even when they are attempting to do something they may be concerned about.

Despite their fears, the Pierce’s trusted Lori’s judgment while keeping a watchful eye. Lori’s seven siblings treated her as “normal” and also encouraged her to try things. With “dream” parents and siblings, Lori learned to “dream” of possibilities. She met and exceeded the “challenges” along the way.

Lori training in Judo

When the Pierce's learned about the Blind Judo Foundation's program, they dared to introduce her to a sport many parents would have feared. Their experiences make them strong supporters of a new campaign to raise money for the Blind Judo Foundation which they believe was life changing and crucial in empowering Lori.  

Lori with Lola getting her Degree 

at the U of TX

Judo taught Lori how to fall down, get up and persevere. It empowered her to stand tall and triumphant as the 1st Silver Medal winner of the 2004 US Paralympic Judo Team in Athens.  She gained the self-confidence to pursue and complete a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology at the University of Texas, far from her family in Colorado. Judo also helped her believe in her ability to coach blind children in Judo, work on her Teaching Certificate and live independently at age 28.  It all started by "waking up and dreaming" of things many blind people do not dare to dream.I believe that Blind Judo and how Lori's parents responded to the unique challenges of raising a blind child played a significant part in why Lori and her dreams thrived. Since I believe that if one person can accomplish a dream, anyone can, she launched a joint fundraising campaign to help the Blind JudoFoundation teach blind and visually impaired children and wounded warriors to fall down so that they too can learn to dream it forward like Lori.  Half of the profits from sales of The Wake Up and Dream Challenge to teach more children to dream using Judo enhance self esteem, empower self confidence and stomp out bullying of the blind.  When ordering the book please write “Blind Judo Foundation” in the "comments"  section. Please consider changing lives with the purchase of the book and donations to the work and mission of the Blind Judo Foundation at www.blindjudofoundation.org/donate.php

Remembering & Honoring My Brother, Larry Bogdanow

Larry Bogdanow, 1949 - 2011

Thought for the day: Life is short. Wake Up And Dream now!

February 24th would have been my brother, Larry Bogdanow's 65th birthday. I still have trouble believing that he is gone. He was so healthy. He practiced Tai Chi, rode his bike from Soho to Chelsea Piers & swam 45 minutes to an hour almost every day of his life. He ate organic food, some of which he raised in his garden in Upstate New York. We all thought he had beat the odds after having a "benign" brain tumor removed 16 years ago. All his follow ups were clean. He had 16 healthy happy years living his dreams.  He watched his beautiful daughter grow into an amazing young woman. accompanied his Oscar winning documentary film maker wife to the Oscar ceremonies, film festivals & on vacations to exotic places, worked for good causes & designed amazing buildings & restaurants.

When he began to have some memory problems last spring his new physician thought it was just stress. His life long friend, Dr. Martin Blaser, (Professor; Frederick H. King Professor of Internal Medicine; Chair & F.H.KIng Professor-Int Med Departments of Medicine (Admin Support) and Microbiology (Microbiology ) was more concerned & urged Larry to get an MRI. Hours after the scan, Dr. Blaser was frantically searching for Larry to have him come back to the hospital. Larry now had stage 4 brain cancer, the same kind that took Ted Kennedy from our world. The prognosis was not good, but we all thought that Larry would somehow fight this battle & be with us for a while longer.  Surgery was followed by intensive chemo & radiation. After surgery, Larry seemed to be better. With the doctor's consent he went to his beloved country home & on Saturday morning even worked in his garden. Later that afternoon, he had a seizure. He was med-evacuated back to NYC. His condition never returned to the post operative state. Within weeks he slipped into a coma & never recovered.

So February 24th will be a tough day for me & writing about him is one of the few things I can do to  mourn & commemorate the life of my brother. Over the summer, I was in NYC almost daily visiting with him, playing music for him, singing to him, sharing my progress on my book. I was fortunate enough to attend & bring Larry books to the hospital from the Book Expo. I shared my excitement when I met Jane Fonda &"heard" Roger Ebert "speak" about his new book with the help of his wife & a computer.  He was hopeful that he would get better & go home. After he passed away, I became even more determined to finish my book. I vowed to find a nonprofit organization to help fight brain cancer to be included in my group of Dream Nonprofits supported by the book.

Voices Against Brain Cancer became the cause in the book that most represented my dream to help other families avoid the experience we went through with my brother. They give a voice to families & survivors. They support research to find a cure to this awful disease which took three other people I knew well. Dr. Irwin Freedberg, former head of Dermatology at NYU, is someone I describe in the book as a "Dream Parenting" role model. He & his wife, Irene Freedberg, was the Associate Director of Social Work at Bellevue Hospital. She was also the former director of Project Liberty, program that provides free crisis counseling services to persons, families and groups most affected by the September 11 World Trade Center disaster. & one of the people who designed the Mental Health program following 9/11. Both Dr. Freedberg & Irene Freedberg were taken too soon by brain cancer.

A close childhood friend of mine & Larry's, Amelia Samet Kornfeld, also passed away last February from brain cancer.  Her dreams are also represented in the book with Camp Young Judaea TX as the beneficiary. It is a camp that Larry, Amelia & I attended for years. Together we sang & believed the words, "You & I Will Change the World." It is where I learned to believe in the power of dreams to change the world.





When I spoke with a new acquaintance about the book, Larry & connections to causes he would have supported kept coming up. There is Green Demolitions. Larry was a green architect long before anyone was using recycled materials. He has had a solar generator & solar powered electric fence around his garden in Chatham.

Then there is the Lucero Center which is training Spanish speaking psychologists. Larry studied Spanish with a group of friends who volunteered to travel to Guatemala & build a community center which Larry designed over twenty years ago.



He would have loved the idea of Music From a Bottle which collects bottles at restaurants & rock concerts to support music programs in under-privledged schools. Larry helped teach me to play the guitar. Everyone who knew Larry had CD's of music that he would put together. He sent them to friends when they were going through tough times & gave them as gifts for no reason. He simply loved to introduce friends to new musicians & arrangements.

Even the Blind Judo Foundation & Elimination of Prejudice remind me of Larry. When he & my older brother, Bill, were young boys, neither of them were into athletics.  When my mother found out that they were being bullied & did not know how to defend themselves, she enrolled them in Judo classes.  I can still count to ten in Japanese because of those lessons.


 




Finally, Larry & NYC were strongly intertwined. NY Says Thank You is another charity that he would staunchly support as a way to rebuild after tragedies. Larry was an accomplished architect his work can still be viewed on his business website http://www.bogdanow.com/. He was however unpretentious. Although he designed Wild Blue, which was at the top of the World Trade Center, he never mentioned it. I went there once when the music was too loud at a Latin Dance at Windows on the World. Weeks later I mentioned having been there & thinking it looked like one of his designs, he told us it was. On 9/11 one of his associates finished an early morning meeting at Windows On the World, where Larry's firm was doing some work. When the elevator stopped running & the authorities were telling people to stay put, Larry's employee called to say he would be late for the next appointment. Larry, who had spoken with his wife who saw the plane hit the building, told him to get out of the building. He saved his employee's life. Larry's life was dedicated to building comfortable spaces for people to get together & trying to promote a peaceful world.

As you can see, completing the book & promoting these causes has been intertwined with my wish to keep my brother's dreams alive as well as my own. It has been a labor of love. I miss him & know he would be proud of how this book can help so many causes that he believed in as well. (To read more about any of the charities mentioned in this post, click on their name & read the entire preview.) Half of the profits from each of these books goes to nonprofit of your choice.

If you knew Larry & would like to share a story, please do. If his life & story resonates with you please share as well.