How To Conquer DreamBusters Part I: Five Ways To Start Dreaming On A Dime

Photo from ramaty on photobucket

Thought for the Day: Who hasn't heard the saying:
You can't live on dreams alone. Author unknown?
However, I believe that without dreams you may not feel like you are living, so find a way to work towards your dreams even when money is tight. So here are five ways to start dreaming on a dime.

Have you let a DreamBuster stop you from working towards your dreams? Feel free to e-mail me or post a comment about what is holding you back & I will try to help you find a creative way to conquer your DreamBuster.


When bills are piling up, even cats can get discouraged!




I decided to start a new series of articles by posting the photo (on the right) on facebook, twitter, tumblr & google+. I copied the original photo from photobucket & hope that the film Ghostbusters will forgive me for changing the image. Here's what I posted:

Please SHARE & comment, I need your help. I'd doing research for a series of blog posts. (you can remain anonymous in posts if you want, just let me know or send a personal message) What's your biggest dream buster? Fill in the blank: The biggest thing that stops me from moving towards my dreams is_________________.

From the feedback I received, one of the top DreamBusters for many people is feeling that their dreams are impractical since they do not have enough money to even consider dreaming.

These are very difficult financial times. People are out of work, searching for jobs, struggling to make ends meet. Gas prices are soaring. No one can deny that it is hard to dream when faced with concerns about putting food on the table or paying the mortgage. As a psychologist, working with people who have overcome adversity, I know that dreams can play a part in not only surviving, but thriving. In earlier posts I have told some stories about people who have overcome financial hardship & reached their dreams (How a Motorcycle Accident and A Fire Rekindled a Dream, Teenager Doesn't Let Anything Stop Her Dreams, When Life Gives You Lemons, Open A Lemonade Stand)
, , but today i want to give you 5 tips on ways to move towards your dreams on a dime.

1) Research your dream.
        Use your computer (or a computer at a library) to do research about your dream. It costs just your time & energy. The more you know about the dream & ways others have accomplished it, the more you can find creative ways to make it happen. there may be apprenticeships, internships or certificate programs that you are not aware of which may make the dream more attainable than you think. Find out about scholarship or incentive programs www.studentscholarships.org/
        Cost to you: Time & access to a computer

2) Volunteer close to home.
         Whether you are out of work or working on a tight budget & unhappy with what you are doing, consider volunteering part time at something you have always dreamed about but never tried. If you love animals & wish you had become a veterinarian, volunteer at a zoo or animal hospital. If you have no training in teaching, but would like to see if it suits you, volunteer in an after school program or on weekends. Offer a few hours a day, an evening or a day or two a week & it will help you in three ways. First, you will feel better by doing something you enjoy. Second, you will gain experience to add to your resume which could help you land a job in the field you have dreamed about for years. In addition, it will help you decide whether you are really interested in this new vocation.
        Cost to you: Time & transportation to the site

3) Take a gap year or a volunteering vacation.
         If you are more adventurous, consider applying for the Peace Corps or AmeriCares. Although you are a volunteer, room & board & medical insurance are included. It is a way to travel & try out new career paths.
         If you are working & afraid to leave your job, you could also consider volunteering abroad for a week to a few months during a vacation or leave of absence. It requires saving for airfare & fees for the stay, however, it could give you an amazing experience & possible new direction for future employment. I googled one program, International Volunteer HQ, to give you an idea of what the costs could be (1 wk $270 to 2 months $770 - $1030 depending on the country + airfare). There are many other sites with volunteer opportunities online.
         You can consider a gap year at any age, don't assume that you are too old for a program, ask!
         Cost to you: Peace Corps or AmeriCares: Time
         Volunteering abroad:Time & $500- $2000 (so for this you may need  to save for a while depending on the program you choose).

4) Start a business on the side.
        In this day & age, starting a business does not require a huge investment. If you have an idea that can be sold via the internet, you can do it with minimal finances. Use your evenings & weekends to test the waters. Pick something that you love so that you will enjoy the process of building the business until it begins to make money. If you have a friend who shares your interest consider partnering with them to share the responsibilities.
         Cost to you: Time & access to a computer, website (start with a free site)
      
5) Move, after training, to an area with under-serviced populations.
          Many people are unaware that there are scholarships available for professions offering services to populations in areas that are currently under-serviced. Many medical, counseling & teaching opportunities are available. The California Government's Health Professions Education Foundation site offers scholarships to under-serviced areas needing medical professionals in California. On the National Board of Certified Counselors site I found in a quick search provides information on helping prepare certified counselors for under-serviced populations. Programs like these are available in rural communities as well as urban ones. You may need to move once you have trained in the field, but you may be able to find a community near where you live & have a job lined up when you finish training.
        Cost to you: Time & moving expenses after training is completed 

      There are many more resources available to help you start moving towards your dreams. You can conquer your DreamBuster! Let me know if you get discouraged & I will help you find some alternative ways to overcome them. Stay tuned for additional tips on how to conquer other DreamBusters...

Is an Illness or Disability Stopping You from Dreaming?

Thought for the day: The best angle from which to approach any problem is the try-angle. - Unknown
The try-angle approach to problem solving must be followed by the Try-Try-Again-Angle. - Dr. Barbara Lavi

Are you challenged by an illness or disability? Does your physical condition discourage you & make you feel that you cannot reach for your dreams? An earlier post, "When Life Gives You Lemons Build a Lemonade Stand," touched on these questions. Since this issue is related to the 3rd Dream Quotient (DQ) trait, the ability to persevere despite physical challenges and illnesses, it deserves a second post.  For this post I'd like to share the story of Tom from my book. In Tom's words the Dream Positioning System (DPS) helped him because, “No one knows how long they will live, but planning for my future gave me reasons to live. I began to look forward to life again.”

Tom was a tall, forty-five year-old man with dark brown hair, a lean, muscular build, & a suntanned face that framed a truly winning smile. He was the picture of health & vitality. I was unbelievably surprised when this happy, charming man told me he had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) five years earlier. Tom was literally a walking miracle. The disease had hit so hard when he was first diagnosed that doctors said he might never walk again. They told him to go home & “not do too much.” Luckily, Tom had refused to accept the prognosis or the doctors’ advice, but to maintain a healthier lifestyle. He did, however, leave behind his high powered job & began to live a more relaxed way of life. He altered his eating habits & worked intensively in physical therapy. By changing his lifestyle Tom was soon beating all the odds. Not only did he begin walking again, but he also returned to the sport of rowing on a regular basis. Tom was a very positive person. He’d simply come to me because he developed a fear of flying which was interfering with his life & sense of happiness. He was also feeling a bit dissatisfied, moody & impatient. Therapy began as a simple intervention to overcome the fear of flying, but it led to far reaching subjects & extreme life changes.

Tom’s story is an example of how many people don’t allow themselves to dream due to a physical illness or disability. They let their illness take over, and stop them from exploring their wishes for
the future. When I first began assigning The Wake Up And Dream Challenge to clients, I questioned the appropriateness of giving it to people with cancer or other life threatening diseases. However, I
learned an important lesson from clients like Tom. Somehow, I knew that Tom would meet & surpass the challenge in the same courageous way he had dealt with his doctors’ dire prognosis. He told me that The Wake Up And Dream Challenge had given him hope for the future, & said that, “No one knows how long they will live, but planning for my future gave me reasons to live. I began to look forward to life again.”

Tom began to explore living in a warmer climate, where it would be easier to get around as his illness progressed. He began encouraging his wife to retire early so they could enjoy the years when he was still mobile & independent. A few years after he completed therapy, I saw Tom. He was still walking, active, & enjoying his life. His wife was retiring & they planned to move South. He had started on new medication for his MS. Tom was living a full & happy life despite the illness. He would not allow anything to stop him from achieving his dreams. In fact, the man who had been afraid to fly had traveled to Latin America & volunteered in the “Builders Without Borders Program.” He had learned to speak Spanish, & thanked me for allowing him to rediscover what gave him joy so that he could include those things in his plans for the future.

Before completing my book, I contacted Tom (not his real name) & asked him to read my book to be sure I had portrayed his story appropriately. He wrote back & told me, "Life is tough. It presents challenges all of the time. My first scary challenge that knocked me down was when I got Multiple Sclerosis in 1993. After addressing the physiological portion, many fears & irrational behaviors developed. Because of Dr. Lavi, & my time as her patient, I was able to get back on track & enjoy my life despite knowing I would have MS the rest of my life & would need to work hard to manage & control it. What Dr. Lavi didn’t know until now, is that she helped me again, when I faced stage-3 cancer years later. Her guidance & effective dream-planning ideas stayed with me all these years & helped me again through an even more frightening time of horrific cancer treatments. I would l not be who I am today without her help & guidance." L.D. (former patient)

No matter what physical challenges you are facing, you can still pursue your dreams. You may need to adjust them, but you do not have to give up on them. Several of the Dream Nonprofits featured in & benefiting from my book help people dealing with physical disabilities or illnesses reach their dreams. You can read about how they help people overcome these issues & donate to help them help others accomplish their dreams. I have already talked about how Higher Ground helps wounded veterans. Green Demolitions helps recovering addicts. The Blind Judo Foundation helps blind athletes prepare for competition in para-olympics. You can take a look at the links & read the entire preview of the book on each link to learn more about these nonprofit organizations.

Today, I'd like to tell you about Osprey Village, a group of families banding together to build a model community for adults with developmental disabilities & their families.  Their mission is: To provide a caring community environment where eligible individuals—both disabled & non-disabled—can function at their highest level of independence, in their own private living space, while enjoying opportunities for social, physical, vocational & emotional growth.

The Problem: “I lost my husband” & when you lose a spouse you realize, “okay, I’m it. When I go, where is my Ericha going to go? …Being & having a home with her friends & being around all the people she knows is really important.” Susan D.

The Need: There are currently no “group homes” providing independent living options for intellectually or developmentally disabled adults anywhere in southern Beaufort County SC—not even one! There are 48 people on the Disabilities & Special Needs (DSN) Board’s waiting list in Beaufort County & almost 2000 across the state. With the current state budgetary issues, there is little hope for the situation to change in the next several years.

The Vision: We have taken on the challenge of changing the current situation. We are planning to connect local “special needs” adults with their surrounding community by building a supportive “purpose driven,” inter- generational neighborhood.

The name “OSPREY” is an acronym for “Our Special People Reaching out to Elders & Youth.” We plan to provide homes or apartments for developmentally disabled adults as part of a broader
“neighborhood with a purpose.” Developmentally disabled adults will have the option to live with their parents, with a host family, or in an independent living unit. Likewise, parents of adult children with disabilities will be able to live in their own home with their children or in a senior housing unit with their adult child living close by. Either way they will be able to be an integral part of their child’s life. This will give them a sense of security knowing that their child will always live in a safe home in a nurturing community. To learn more &/or purchase the book & donate 1/2 pf the profits to Osprey Village click here:Osprey Village.

Are you or someone you know living with a similar physical challenge in your family? Do you know of similar communities or creative solutions people have found to help a disabled adult child live as independently as possible? Please share thoughts, ideas solutions or challenges you are dealing with today. I'd love to help you find a creative solution.

Rich Man, Poor Man, Beggar Man, Dream! You Can't Afford Not to Dream!

Fighting Povery & Saving Landfills

How Can You Make Music From Broken Bottles?

Thought for the day: You can't afford not to dream.  In the current economic climate many people have survived several lay-offs only to find themselves overwhelmed by a workload they simply can’t manage. They drag themselves to work every single day, both fearing & hoping for a lay-off to occur. They feel stuck, but are truly afraid to consider leaving a steady paycheck behind. You may be thinking, “Dreams cost money & I’m already struggling financially.” Or, “I can’t afford to follow my dreams.” In this day & age, financial concerns are weighing on everyone’s minds. I read a billboard recently, which said: “Recession 101: Bill Gates Started Microsoft During a Recession.” There are creative ways to accomplish aspirations even when financial resources are tight. Visionaries, like Bill Gates, don’t let finances stop them from working toward their dreams. Instead, they find creative ways to finance them. Do financial constraints keep you from following your dreams?

People say, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” I believe, “Where there’s a dream, there’s a way.” Creative problem solving skills which foster innovation even when challenged by financial restraints are related to another Dream Quotient (DQ) ability which enables people to follow their dreams. There are multiple ways to start working on your dreams even with limited financial resources. In my book, some of the creative solutions used are presented like the inventor of the cute buttons, jibbitzes, that you can buy for Crocs, the colorful rubber sandals with holes. These decorative buttons that fit into the holes you see on Crocs were designed by a housewife, Sherry Schmeltzer.  Jibbitz is a company founded by Rich and Sheri Schmelzer.  Sherry initially made them for her daughter, but when her daughter’s friends suddenly wanted them too, she began making them out of her garage. To make a long story short, this previously unknown housewife’s idea became an overnight success & Crocs bought her company for a 20 million dollars,. Unfortunately, not every idea will lead to a million-dollar business, but every million-dollar business began with a creative idea. What creative talents & activities do you enjoy? Don’t ignore them! Find a way to incorporate them into your life.

Another way to finance your dreams is to continue working in a job while you develop your dreams on the weekends or evenings. I saw a woman on television who works during the day as a construction worker. At night & on weekends she spends her time making chocolate floral arrangements. Her creations are simply beautiful, very tasty, & very time consuming. With hard work & determination she has turned this into a small business. It is her passion—a true labor of love—& since it’s something she enjoys, it enhances her life until she can attain the wealth necessary to leave her day job far behind. There are many ways to learn the skills necessary for a new career before leaving a steady job. Nowadays, there are innovative weekend & night schools for most professions. You can even take courses online from the comfort of your own home. There are scholarships for working mothers & fathers, as well as internships & apprenticeships that are available. You can also volunteer in a new field in your spare time to see if the work is to your liking. As you investigate these types of exploratory experiences, you will also be building a resume that will help you land employment in the new field if you choose to pursue it.

Two of the Dream Nonprofit organizations, Music From A Bottle & Rock & Wrap It Up, featured in & benefiting from my book exemplify how you do not need a lot of money to follow your dreams.

The founder of Music From A Bottle was unemployed & trying to figure out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life before the idea for his organization came to him. He had been working as a counselor with a non-profit organization which assists youth infected with HIV, but he had recently been laid off. He was also a musician & wanted to get back into the music industry, but wasn’t sure how to just yet. Suddenly, the sound of breaking glass at the end of a concert became music to his ears. He saw how to turn those broken bottles into a way to bring music into his life while supplying music education to enhance the lives of underprivileged kids. In addition, he would be saving America’s landfills at the same time.

It is Music From A Bottle's goal to donate one instrument a month to K-12 school music programs, provide music instruction & music business education. Millions of beverage bottles, both glass & plastic, are disposed of annually. By collecting & recycling bottles from music festivals & restaurants, he would help clean up our global waste & find a purpose for those bottles by encouraging the musical development of children around the globe. To purchase The Wake Up And Dream Challenge & donate 1/2 of the profit to Music from A bottle, click here

It took Syd Mandlebaum several years to develop the idea of Rock & Wrap It Up. In the the summer of 1991 that Syd Mandlebaum started the recovery of food from Jones Beach Theater. This “rock star’ quality leftover food was recovered & brought directly to the soup kitchen Syd had helped found in 1987. Syd realized that if food was left over at one venue where rock bands played, food was potentially available at every concert venue in the United States & around the world. He dreamed of recovering all of it before it was dumped in landfills. This food could then be distributed to the hungry instead. His dream, Rock & Wrap it Up! was launched nationally Labor Day 1994.

Since its inception in 1991, Rock & Wrap It Up has: Donated to over 43,000 shelters & places of need; Collaborated with 60 sports franchises, 150 bands, & 200 schools; Collected more than 250 million pounds of food; & Fed more than 500 million people.

Rock & Wrap It Up! is an anti-poverty think tank. Using greening tactics, Rock & Wrap It Up! recovers food & other assets to agencies fighting poverty, increasing their operating budgets. This allows the agencies to hire more services such as tutors, social workers, job placement counselors & mental health counselors to attack the root cause of poverty. To purchase The Wake Up And Dream Challenge & donate 1/2 of the profits to Rock & Wrap It Up, click here.

Are financial constraints keeping you from following your dreams? Have you found creative ways to move toward your dreams? I'd love to hear about them.

Teenager Doesn't Let Anything Stop Her Dreams

 

Photo credit: Newsday / J. Conrad Williams Jr.

Update: During President Obama's speech last Wednesday at the #DNC, he referred to having met Samantha Garvey. He did not say her name but gave her as an example of someone who would not let homelessness stop her from pursuing her dreams as a researcher.  It seems that he met her after her story was in the news.

The smiling face above is that of Samantha Garvey, a 17 year old from Long Island. She has a lot to be joyful about. Yesterday, I Samantha found out she was chosen as a semifinalist in the prestigious Intel Competition for scientific research. It would be a major accomplishment for any high school student to be one of 300 semifinalists from thousands of entrants from around the USA. What makes Samantha Garvey's accomplishment even more of an inspiration is that she did her research despite the fact that she is homeless.

Obviously she is a very bright teenager, but her IQ alone does not explain her accomplishments. I would love to have her take my Dream Quotient Questionnaire but my guess from what I saw on the video clip is that her DQ would be quite high as well. She did not let the obstacles of homelessness steal her dreams. Yesterday, she said she could not give her family a home, but at least she could please her parents & do well in school. Her parents & teachers have obviously helped her believe in her ability to succeed with hard work & persistence.

Her research focuses on mussels & is a metaphor for her own strength.  She found that when mussels are attacked they develop thicker,  stronger shells. The financial challenges in her family have helped the teen become stronger "skinned." Her positive attitude toward life is truly inspiring.

There is an even happier ending to this story. As I completed this post, I discovered that the publicity from her accomplishments has led to the Department of Social Services in Suffolk County finding a 3 bedroom house where Samantha's family can live. So Samantha is no longer homeless & her hard work has helped her family find a home!

I have always felt that difficult experiences strengthened me & made me more sensitive to others. I always had a home & a loving family, but growing up in a "broken" family when divorce was barely spoken of, was not easy. I knew I needed to work harder to be accepted, never had the latest fashions to wear, but learned to use my creativity, intelligence & hard work to accomplish my dreams.

Have you been strengthened by challenges in your lives? I would love to hear your stories.

See a video clip of Samantha Garvey below:

http://www.newsday.com/video/newsday-video-1.1482431?idno=40031