Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Psychology, But Were Afraid To Ask

Thought for the Day: I hope the title of this blog post caught your attention and that you will help me out. I have been very busy for the last few months. It has led to less frequent posting on this blog. I have been trying to come up with ways to make the blog more interactive. In just 3 years, there have been over 150,000 page views. I know you are reading and commenting, but I want it to be even more helpful to my readers.

Instead of posting an article, I'd like to ask you to share your questions. What do you want to learn about psychology? What problems are you struggling with in your lives?  What would you like to know about mental health, mental illness, depression? Are there ways I could help you understand or cope with relationship issues or family conflicts? Parenting questions, work issues are just some of the possible areas you can ask about. I would like you to take advantage of my experience as a clinical psychologist to help you at this time in your life.

Consider this your opportunity to have a free private consultation. Ask whatever you have been afraid to ask in the past. You can post your questions here (using your g+ name) on the blog or e-mail me if you want your identity to be totally anonymous. My e-mail is DrBarbaraLavi@aol.com.

All inquiries will be replied to on the blog. Depending on the number of questions I receive, I will try to respond in a timely fashion with 1 to 3 questions answered a week.

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: End of 2013 Treasures & Predictions for the Future

Thought for the Day: This time of year, it seems that life is rushing by with little time for catching up on reading. It feels like Alibaba and the Forty Thieves are stealing the last days of 2013! However, I came across some treasures this week that I want to share with you today. All five look towards the future with ways to improve our lives.In the 1st,  IBM makes some predictions about what we will see in the future. The future may already be here for a lot of people who no longer need an office as the second article reports. The fourth find tells about how actress Glenn Close and other stars are making their way to Washington DC to advocate for a new Mental Health bill. The fourth, a video, takes a look back at the accomplishments of a grass roots movement, Moms Demand Action to end gun violence that began just a year ago in response to the Newtown tragedy. The fifth is a feel good story that looks back two years and forward to a bright future for an 18 year old immigrant who has been the odds & uses twitter in a very creative way. (For those of you who read yesterday's post, the reporter's personality is clearly revealed in his tweets.) I hope you enjoy them.

1. IBM reveals its top five innovation predictions for the next five years 
2. Office Not Required
3. Glenn Close visiting Capitol Hill to advocate for mental health bill
4. One Year Later: No More Silence
5. Reporter Follows Up on a Hard Story and Finds a Really Happy Ending

Have a wonderful weekend!

Thursday's Food for Thought: Clay Hunt: A Veteran's Life & Death

Thought for the Day: This week I have been writing about Veterans & how we honor & care for them. The statistics on veterans suffering from PTSD, TBI, depression, & alcoholism are staggering. The numbers of attempted suicides & deaths due to suicide are also discouraging. Are we doing enough to help veterans on their return from duty? This CBS 60 Minutes clip is the story of one veteran, Clay Hunt. We must do everything in our power to prevent these losses. Two programs described in the video attempt, like Higher Ground to rehabilitate veterans. Even with participation in a program where vets volunteer using their military skills to help following natural disasters & a biking program, Clay did not conquer his inner demons. As a nation, we must be creative & persistent to make sure that adequate mental health & rehabilitations programs are available to our veterans. If you know of a program, feel free to share it here. (Click to donate 1/2 of the profits from The Wake Up And Dream Challenge to Higher Ground.)

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: Flipping Classrooms, World Mental Health Day, Childbirth & Sexuality & Bullying Prevention

Thought for the Day: I don't know about you, but I for one am glad it's Friday. It has been a busy week & I am ready for the weekend. I hope you caught my humorous special edition yesterday Part II in Wake Up Washington: Putting Congress on the Couch. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reactions to the post since it is so different from most of my posts.

     For today I have some interesting articles for your weekend reading. A fascinating article from the NY Times, on "flipping classrooms," using video lessons at home & homework projects at school. This new concept has been helping kids in previously low functioning school districts make dramatic strides. The 2nd find is an article on taking care of yourself & helping those with mental illness on World Mental Health Day. Many people have held the opinion that natural childbirth leads to lower sex drive in women. The 3rd find this week discredits this myth. My 4th find this week is a bit disturbing. It seems that some programs intended to prevent bullying in our schools may be having the opposite effect & teaching bullies how to harm their peers. More research & more comprehensive programs must be investigated & implemented.

     Have a great weekend & I hope you enjoy these finds!

Turning Education Upside Down By TINA ROSENBERG

2013 World Mental Health Day: Taking Care of You By LISA KANTOR, ESQ. AND RACHEL TEICHER

Childbirth Does Not Cause Sexual Dysfunction, Says Study  By Lydia O'Connor The Huffington Post

Bullying Prevention Programs May Have Negative Impact: Study By Rebecca Klein The Huffington Post

Tuesday's Psychology Trivia: If A Friend Was a Victim of Domestic Violence, What Would You Do?

Thought for the Day: 54 million Americans have been victims of domestic violence and 32 million have been a victim of sexual assault. 60 percent of Americans know a victim of domestic violence or sexual assault. If you knew a friend was suffering from domestic violence or had been sexually assaulted, what would you do? Given the size of this problem in the United States, what do you think the answer to today's trivia question is:

What percentage of women who disclosed that they were suffering from domestic violence or had been sexually assaulted were helped by a friend after speaking up about it?
           a) 59%
           b) 85%
           c) 42%
           d) 75%

Come back on Thursday for the answer.

Sunday's Comic Strips: Depression Is Not a Laughing Matter, but Perhaps These Comics Will Help

Thought for the Day: For Sunday's Comics, I chose 4 comics, 21 Comics That Capture The Frustrations Of Depression, by Heben Nigatu BuzzFeed Staff. Comics sometimes help us laugh at things that are not funny in order to help cope with them. These comics are more thought provoking than funny. If you know someone who is depressed, perhaps these comics will make you think twice & try to understand how hard it is to cope with depression. If you are suffering from depression, they may help you explain to others what it feels like to be you. Depression is an illness. It is not an "act" or something anyone chooses to be. If a friend is depressed, be there for them, listen, try to help them, & encourage them to see a therapist. You cannot fix it for them & they may need a professional to find their way out of the abyss. 

(Thanks to Martin Kluger, Ph.D. & "The Stress-Less Times" for sharing this article)

2. The frustrating way people talk about mental illness versus other illnesses.

Via fyeahpsychiatry.tumblr.com

Art by Susie Cambell.

6. The never-ending cycle of paralysis.

Via reddit.com

Art by ?

10. Not being able to recognize yourself.

depressioncomix.tumblr.com

Art by Depression Comix.

14. The difficulties of trying to share your feelings with family

moosekleenex.tumblr.com

Art by Moose Kleenex.

Throwback Wednesday: Words of Wisdom by Dr. Seuss and Dr. Lavi

Thought for the Day: Here's an older post from my Wednesday's Words of Wisdom Series. It connects to the trivia question I will be answering tomorrow, but only looks at one angle to the complex question I asked about whether pretending to be happy can help fight depression.  Here's what I wrote a while back:

Thought of the Day: In Wednesday's Words of Wisdom I have brought quotes from great psychologists, psychiatrists & teachers. Today's quote comes from a great artist & author of 45 children's books who has inspired generations of children (& their parents) with humor, creativity & a genuine desire to make the world a more caring peaceful place. 

Born Theodor Seuss Geisel in 1904, very few people know his real name. Geisel is known around the world as Dr. Seuss. He adopted the name Dr. Seuss in his early career as an undergraduate student at Dartmouth University. Although he began a graduate degree at Oxford University, he dropped out & pursued cartooning full time.  His 1st book was rejected by 27 publishers before it was accepted; it was not long before he became an acclaimed children's author.  His list of best selling books, including The Cat in the Hat & Green Eggs and Ham, have been translated into more than twenty languages & over 200 million copies have been sold around the world.

It is an understatement to say that Dr. Seuss' books have made a lasting impression on many generations around the world. His unique, creative illustrations, whacky rhymes & simple words of wisdom are read & recited repeatedly not only in homes, but also on TV, ia Broadway musical & movie renditions of his work. From children books, quotes, to controversial adult books, such as The Butter Battle Book, his messages resonate loud & clear. 

Although I love this quote by Dr. Seuss, "Don’t cry because it’s over but smile because it happened,” I feel a need to change it a bit. Instead I would say: "Cry because its over until you can smile because it happened." Encouraging people to let themselves cry when they are grieving is important. By teaching our children & ourselves that crying is a healthy way to release our darker emotions, we all can make room eventually for the brighter feelings of joy & gratitude when we remember what we have lost.

Although Dr. Seuss passed away in 1991, his memory will live on with his treasure trove of books & illustrations which will bring smiles to all who read his work.

Photos:
Top Right: From Wikipedia Commons {{Information |Source=Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division. New York World-Telegram and the Sun Newspaper Photograph Collection. http://hdl.loc.gov/loc.pnp/cph.3c16956 |Description= Ted Geisel (Dr. Seuss) half-length portrait, seated at  photo 2

Bottom Left : FlickrCC.com  'Green Eggs and Ham' http-/www.flickr.com/photos/92382806@N00/422005531
Bottom Middle: FlickrCC.com 'Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss' http-/www.flickr.com/photos/8489692@N03/4400664151
Bottom Right: FlickrCC.com 'DSC_2174' http-/www.flickr.com/photos/51035747113@N01/10920509

Throwback Thursday's Psychology Trivia : Read Your Way to Mental Health?

Thought for the Day: When I first posted this article I was waiting for my car to be towed, today I'm still chugging along with the help of my cell phone and computers at public libraries to keep up with all my social media and blogging. At least my car is working! Here's the answer to the trivia question. What books have helped you with your mental health. Tomorrow in my Fabulous Finds I'll add some books that I recommend to my clients. Have a great day!

Thought for the Day: As I sit in my car waiting for AAA to come help me, I realized that I could work on my post from my iPhone. I can also call AAA, call a friend, or do other work from this amazing device. Perhaps my trivia question should have been: "Can you phone your way to mental health?" I doubt there's been any research on it yet but I will check and let you know! Has your cell phone helped your mental health? I'd love to hear your stories!
     Tuesday's psychology trivia question was:

             True or False: You can read your way to mental health.

The answer is true.  Bibliotherapy, i.e., prescribing selected books to read about the presenting problem is a common practice among psychologists & psychotherapists. I often recommend selected reading as an adjunct to therapy. Intuitively, I know it helps. Surprisingly, there has not been much research on the effectiveness of this technique. However, in a small but significant percentage of cases, in the UK bibliotherapy reduced symptoms of prospective clients waiting to be seen for an initial psychotherapy evaluation. By the time of their scheduled 1st appointment, they no longer choose to seek additional treatment. This does not actually prove that reading a book can cure a psychological problem, however, it seems to help relieve some people's stress for the time being. More research is needed before people can assume that just reading a book will cure them. If you would like to read more about this study take a look at "Bibliotherapy: Reading Your Way to Mental Health"  from The Wall Street Journal (2007) by Kevin Heliker.

Stay tuned for an important announcement soon about how you will be able to download my book on Amazon for FREE for a limited time only. I know it can help you & your friends improve your mental health, too! You will not need to have a Kindle device to take advantage of this offer.

iPhone therapy helped me pass the time & I was able to prepare everything but the photo by the time AAA arrive! Thanks Apple for inventing this "therapeutic" device. 

Photo Credit:
http://photopin.com/phpflickr/getphoto.php?size=medium&id=7030777627&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm8.staticflickr.com%2F7227%2F7030777627_155099da09.jpg

#FF Friday's Fab Finds: ADHD, Paying It Forward for Kids' Sports, Infants, Junk Food & Children's Mental Health, & Blind Judo on Blind Matters Radio

Thought for the Day: As we start Labor Day Weekend, I found some great finds this week. I wish I had discovered the first find before the summer, but it will give parents of kids with ADHD time to investigate and search for programs for next summer for their children. The second find is a children's book which is paying it forward for children's sports programs, like mine does for helping people accomplish their dreams. Speaking of which, the 3rd find is a radio program tomorrow with Willy Cahill, Olympic Judo Coach. The show will highlight the benefits of the sport of Judo for blind and visually impaired children and adults. If you have time, I hope you will listen in tomorrow. Finally, a study that all pregnant and new mothers should be aware of, although we know that junk food is bad for our health, this study found that unborn infants and newborns exposed to junk food have a higher tendency to suffer from depression, anxiety and other mental health issues. Have a wonderful weekend & I hope you enjoy these finds.


Like Summer Camp With Brain Benefits: ADHD Summer Intensive Programs By Madeline Vann, MPH Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH Here's something for parents of children with ADHD to think about for next summer for their children, an intensive summer program that focuses on whole brain development and features diet strategies, exercise options, and classes geared to bolster both strengths and weaknesses - all while remaining fun.

A sports story worth celebrating -- Bob Salomon and a Glove of Their Own By Rick Young, August 22, 2012, from FoxNews Here's a book doing for sports programs for children, what I am doing for the Dream Non-profits featured in my book. Bob Salomon is donating a portion from the sale of each book, A Glove of Their Own,  is donated to: Good Sports, Sports Gift, & Pitch In For Baseball. In addition, Bob sees to it that $3 of every book sold will be given to any school or non-profit organization that joins his effort.

Coach Willy Cahill, Legendary Judo Coach And Co-Founder Of The Blind Judo Foundation To Speak With 400,000 Listeners Of Blind Matters Radio Show Audience August 31, 2013 If you know someone who is blind or visually impaired, you may want to let them know about this broadcast tomorrow about how the sport of judo can build self esteem and independence for the blind. The Blind Judo Foundation is one of the Dream Nonprofit organizations featured in my book. They are doing phenomenal work. If you get a chance, listen in

In Young Kids, Junk Food Linked to Mental Illness  By Traci Pedersen Associate News Editor Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D., August 22, 2013 This is an important story for any pregnant mother or parent of a young child to read. Prenatal & early childhood nutrition has found a link to depression and anxiety in children exposed to junk food during these formative stages of life.

Flashback Tuesday's Psychology Trivia: Can You Read Your Way To Mental Health?

Thought for the Day: Today's post is coming from my trusty iphone which is filling in for my ailing computer.  I decided to bring back an earlier post in case you missed it. Here is Tuesday's Psychology Trivia Question:

True or False: You can read your way to mental health.

What do you think?   Has a book improved your mental health? If so, what book was it? I'd ove to hear about it. Come back on Thursday to hear the answer to today's trivia question.

Saturday's Songs for the Soul: Songs About Motherhood & Empowerment

Thought for the Day:  Next week I will be focusing on new faces of motherhood. I will be speaking at The Museum of Motherhood on the importance of mothers pursuing their dreams, not only for their own mental health, but also as role models for their children. Therefore, I decided to start the week by sharing some songs about mothers, letting go & empowerment of women & mothers. Women, who in the past few years have broken into the "good old boy" network in Country music have been strong role models for women. I may share some more songs like these next week from other artists & genres.

"How Can I Help You Say Goodbye" performed by Grammy award winning singer Patty Loveless is the touching story of how  follows a mother helps her daughter deal with losses. This beautiful song was written by Karen Taylor-Good & Burton Collins.

                                                                                Suzy Bogguss performs "Letting Go," a song about the transition from childhood to adulthood when mothers (and fathers) need to let their children go. She wrote the song with her husband songwriter Doug Crider.

This video of Mary Chapin Carpenter who wrote & performs, "He Thinks He’ll Keep Her," includes a short portion of her speaking about the song's message of empowerment of a wife & mother who realizes that she must change directions in her life to live her own dreams.

 

"Wide Open Spaces" is another coming of age song performed by the Dixie Chicks. I love the lyric & the soaring melody that captures how important it is for parents to give their children room to make their own mistakes. The song was penned by Susan Gibson. Natalie Maines, the lead singer from the Dixie Chicks has a new solo album coming out on May 7th ironically called "Mother." I will have to check it out when it is released.

I hope you enjoy these songs & will come back this week  to read about the changing roles of mothers. Have a wonderful weekend!

Motivational Mondays: Caution: Success May Be A Four Letter Word

Warning: Success May Not Be What You Expect

Thought for the Day: Success is a word I intentionally avoided in my book. Although many motivational books encourage readers to strive for success, and it may attract readers & sell books, I believe it is a mistake to do so.  Psychologically, it may predispose successful people (& those dear to them) to feel like failures. Read on to see how what most people see as a key to happiness may actually be a four letter word, "Succ," which may lead to negative feelings & disappointment. What does success mean to you? Has it helped or hindered you? I hope this post makes you reassess your opinions about what you strive for & how you evaluate your"success."
 
Dictionary.com defines the noun "success" as: 1. the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; & 2. the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like. It can also be used as an adjective such as: "a successful  performance or achievement: The play was an instant success; Or it can be used to describe a person or a thing that is successful: She was a great success on the talk show. " 

By definition, success has the potential to make people feel unsuccessful. We are all so conditioned to see success as a goal to strive for that you may have missed three potential pitfalls in the definition of success. The first word in the above definition that sets one up to feel like a failure is "termination." Success is defined by an ending point. Once you have achieved success, where do you go? When you achieve "success" will you feel it is enough or will you constantly keep trying to prove to yourself & others that you have arrived & are successful. 

The second danger sign in the above definition is the word, "instant," which often leads to a let down. All too often, disappointment follows when quickly achieved success does not repeat itself in subsequent endeavors. In addition, unrealistic expectations for instant success can discourage people from continuing to work at accomplishing their goals.

A third hidden hazard in the above definition is the use of the word successful to define a person. What does it mean to define yourself or be seen by others in terms of wealth, position & honors? Possessions do not define our worth as human beings. On the one hand, there are "successful" people who use their wealth & position to take advantage of others or for selfish endeavors, while on the other hand there are those with no outward signs of success who give generously of their time and care for those in need. Many of those who have achieved "success" have suffered from feeling unfulfilled, doubting their abilities. 

Sadly, many famous successful people have suffered from drug & alcohol abuse & depression. The suicides of Marilyn Monroe, Curt Kobain & drug overdoses of Janis Joplin, John Belushi, Jimi Hendrix, & Jim Morrison are sad testimonies to the fact that what most people see as success does not always bring happiness. The tragic suicides of the children of successful people like Art Linkletter, Gregory Peck, Mary Tyler Moore, Paul Newman, & Judy Collins raise questions about parenting & success. Being financially successful & raising children to become productive responsible adults is a challenge. 

If success is a four letter word, what should we be striving for in life? Have you felt frustrated in your quest for success? What has helped you? I'd like to hear from you & will give you some of my alternatives to the race for success that i believe will make a difference in next week's Motivational Monday's post.