Wednesday's Words of Wisdom: Dr Barbara Lavi: If America Came to My Office, Here's the Diagnosis, Treatment Plan and Prognosis I would Give for Her Future

Thought for the Day: I had a very busy day yesterday & was unable to post. I am still giving a lot of thought to the issues I raised on Memorial Day Monday: What You Can Do If You Are Angry About the War Raging in Our Streets. If you missed my post please take a look, read, comment, share and take action. If you are tired of watching news reports of shooting rampages and loss of innocent lives in school, colleges, malls & cinemas followed by memorial services of distraught families and friends, it can give you some ideas of what to do.

Today's post is raising additional questions about the alarming rise in violence in our nation. After the fact, as we try to make sense of what has happened, the news media reports profiles of the shooters' lives and mental health histories. Books have been written to look for commonalities between the angry young men committing these horrible crimes. Since the rampages often end in the attackers committing suicide, if they are not killed by the police, much of the analysis is based on a kind of psychological autopsy and comments from teachers, family and friends about their troubles lives. In today's words of wisdom, I raise a different explanation which could lead to a different way of treating the issue and hopefully helping to prevent additional attacks.

"If America came to my office, my diagnosis would be PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). When we focus on the shooters most of whom are dead and cannot be treated, we may be missing the underlying causes and therefore, lose sight of potential preventative treatment options."

Read on to see why this hypothesis may help understand the significant rise in violence, depression, suicide and mass attacks...

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: Communication & the Generational Abyss, 7 Habits of Emotional Healthy People, Building Boys Self Esteem, & An App for PTSD

Parenting Between 11 and 14
Photo from http://www.wtcmhmr.org/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=4747

Thought for the Day: The week has flown by with spring flirting with us for a couple of days and then the winter deep freeze returned to taunt us. It seems that spring is on it's way. Although the snow is still not quite melted, I can see some grass which is a good sign! I hope you are all faring well as we anxiously await warmer weather. Today's Fabulous Finds range from the cute comic above which could have been an illustration for the article on digital devices and generational abyss, to seven habits of emotionally healthy people, to building boys self esteem, and a free mobile app which is helping people with PTSD around the world. I hope you enjoy them and have a great weekend!

Thursday's Food for Thought: Clay Hunt: A Veteran's Life & Death

Thought for the Day: This week I have been writing about Veterans & how we honor & care for them. The statistics on veterans suffering from PTSD, TBI, depression, & alcoholism are staggering. The numbers of attempted suicides & deaths due to suicide are also discouraging. Are we doing enough to help veterans on their return from duty? This CBS 60 Minutes clip is the story of one veteran, Clay Hunt. We must do everything in our power to prevent these losses. Two programs described in the video attempt, like Higher Ground to rehabilitate veterans. Even with participation in a program where vets volunteer using their military skills to help following natural disasters & a biking program, Clay did not conquer his inner demons. As a nation, we must be creative & persistent to make sure that adequate mental health & rehabilitations programs are available to our veterans. If you know of a program, feel free to share it here. (Click to donate 1/2 of the profits from The Wake Up And Dream Challenge to Higher Ground.)

Monumental Mondays: Honor A Veteran & Help Wounded Warriors Reach Higher Ground

Thought for the Day: Today is Veteran's Day. A day when we honor our veterans & thank them for what they have done for our nation. However, they need our help all year. Our veterans returning from Iraq's injuries are often less visible. We rallied to support our troupes while they were at war, but the war to fight for rehabilitation will continue for many years. Programs like Higher Ground are ready but need our support to do their good work. This year, you can honor our veterans, by buying a copy of The Wake Up and Dream Challenge. All this week there will be a special sale in honor of our veterans of the Amazon Kindle version of the book. Half of the profits will go to Higher Ground's programs which help using creative recreational rehab programs & 3 year follow up in their communities. You do not need to own a kindle to download the book. Use Kindle's free cloud reader & download the book to your computer, i-pad or smartphone. You can send a copy as a gift to a veteran or anyone who might benefit from the book. 
(Kindle Cloud Reader
Read Kindle books instantly in your web browser with Kindle Cloud Reader. 
All Kindle Reading Apps: Kindle Cloud Reader | PC | Mac | iPhone | iPad | BlackBerry | Android | Windows Phone 7)
To support Higher Ground's efforts to help veterans reach their dreams you can purchase The Wake Up And Dream Challenge Half the profits will go to Higher Ground supporting our recovering veterans.


To learn more about Higher Ground's program, I'd like to share a chapter from my book describing how they help wounded warriors reach their dreams as they recover from the trauma & physical injuries of war.
  

Julio and Maria

Two years after graduating high school, Julio lacked direction in his life. He felt trapped. He saw no opportunities on the horizon in his home of Puerto Rico. After much searching, Julio found a career with plenty of room for advancement—one which would bring financial stability for his family, & provide opportunities for higher education. At the age of twenty, Julio enlisted in the United States Army.

During his first years of active duty, Julio enjoyed the path he had chosen. He had a secure job with great benefits. He, along with his young family, enjoyed visiting parts of the world they might never have had the chance to see. Eventually Julio received orders; he was being deployed to Iraq. While nervous & hesitant to leave his wife & baby daughter, Julio felt honored to have the opportunity to serve his country.

While in Iraq, Julio was exposed to multiple improvised explosive devices (IEDs). Like most soldiers, he simply pulled himself up by his bootstraps & moved forward. He ignored the chronic headaches & grogginess he was feeling. Then, while mounted atop a Humvee in Fallujah, Julio’s unit was ambushed. Julio was shot through the right eye by a sniper. The gunshot & blast exposures resulted in multiple cranial fractures, & a detached retina in his left eye.

When he returned stateside, Julio awoke from a coma & discovered he had lost 90% of his vision, & suffered a severe traumatic brain injury (TBI). Julio also suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) reliving his battle experiences daily. He found himself on ‘edge’ in public & dependent on others for care. Julio felt distant from his wife, & unable to handle the anxiety brought on by his three young children.

With a three-year-old daughter, a new set of twin girls, & a severely disabled husband, Maria was overwhelmed by grief, exhausted by the task of being her husband’s caretaker & trying to run a household. Her challenges seemed insurmountable. She felt guilty leaving her husband’s side for even a moment, fearful that he might experience further harm. Julio was going through the medical board process. Although confident he would eventually receive his full pay & benefits, in the meantime, Julio received only a portion of his active duty pay.

While going through treatment at the VA hospital, Julio’s caseworker told him about the—Sun Valley Adaptive SportsProgram in Idaho—called Higher Ground (HG). Julio made contact with a Recreational Therapist on the HGteam, & quickly developed a new friendship. Julio felt excited for the first time since his injury. He applied to a couple’s snow sports camp because neither he nor Maria had ever seen snow. Here was a chance for adventure. It would be a place to once again feel a sense of camaraderie with other veterans. This was a way for his wife to find the support of other spouses. They both could receive the individual attention of a team of therapists to teach them coping strategies. 

When asked what motivated him to join HG Julio replied, “I was a lifelong surfer before my injury, now I’m not able to even get in the ocean by myself. I think about it constantly. Learning to snowboard will prove to me that I’m still capable; it will show my wife she doesn’t have to always be watching over me.” In response to the same question, Maria replied, “I just want to see my husband smile again.”

Julio’s first day on the mountain taught him that he had grossly underestimated his potential. To the amazement of his instructor, he was making full runs—snowboarding from the top to the bottom of the mountain. Maria’s joy came from seeing what her husband could do independently. The staff of HG gained her confidence. For the first time in years, she was able to leave Julio’s side without anxiety. “I left Julio to go out & do something fantastic…it was the first time in years I was able to let him go; to let him be who he was before his injuries.” Maria grew increasingly comfortable at camp leaving Julio on his own.

In group therapy sessions Maria learned how to cope with her husband’s hardships. She also gained new insight into Julio’s Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) & Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Most importantly, Maria learned that Julio was capable of being an independent man.

Before leaving, Julio thanked the HG staff, saying, “I’m going home with new confidence, but more importantly my wife has been able to be herself & not worry about me constantly.” As part of the HG program, the couple came up with a goal they wished to accomplish in the next year. Julio proudly stood in front of his new unit & announced that within one year he & his Maria would have a proper wedding in front of her family in the church she once attended in the Dominican Republic.

Julio decided it was time to be proactive in his recovery & applied to a blind rehabilitation center. Six months after joining the HG family, Julio called the staff. He was so excited that he could barely contain himself. “I just got back from seeing Maria & the kids. No one came to pick me up! I left the hospital, went to the train station, walked to the house, & surprised Maria at the door. I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF!” The HG staff was brought to tears when Julio said, “You have heard of the snowball effect? I believe that sometimes that snowball can defy gravity & gain momentum & mass as it rolls uphill. My snowball started on top of a mountain in Idaho, followed me home to Florida, through blind rehab, & will be with me when I stand next to my wife at the altar.”

This true story is only one of many that the team at Higher Ground proudly shares. HG is now recognized as a leader in their industry from theDepartment of Defense, The Joint Chiefs of Staff, The Department of Excellence, & a host of military & VA medical installations nationwide. In their holistic approach to rehabilitation, HG provides therapy & support to those caring for wounded veterans. HG offers: the longest follow up program in the industry; daily therapeutic themes that provide the tools necessary to find success in life; resources nationally & in their home community; referrals to programs meeting medical, educational, familial, & social needs; a reintegration budget to continue the momentum at home; &, access to these services 100% cost free to the veterans & their supporters. In addition, HGstaff conducts research with major universities assessing the efficacy of their techniques. They also present at conferences & seminars nationwide teaching others how to conduct effective therapeutic recreation programs.

It’s the dream of the HG staff to improve the quality of care provided to American heroes nationwide! 

To support their dream you can purchase The Wake Up And Dream Challenge Half the profits will go to Higher Ground supporting our recovering veterans. The kindle version is on sale from 11/11/13 - 11/18/13.

Friday's Fabulous Finds: Healing Social Pathology 1 Friend, City, & App at a Time

Thought for the Day: It’s finally Friday! This week we have been talking about friendship & society's pathology. The finds relate to ways to start treating the social ills we have been talking about. You may enjoy the first two finds if you liked our Words of Wisdom post from this past Wednesday titled “Phillip Zimbardo Shyness: A Social Pathology.  The first is a program that teaches cities to become emotionally healthy. Programs like these can help treat the social pathology we discussed. The 2nd find is an article titled “Friendship Lessons from Introverts.” It debunks the myth that introverts lack strong relationships. What can we learn from them to enhance our relationships? The third find brings 5 free mobile apps for PTSD, Stress & Anxiety. These apps can help people heal from the violence & stress of our modern world. The 4rd fabulous find came from an article called “Diagnosis: Humans,” a NY Times Op-Ed Piece by Ted Gup. It concerns society’s desire to constantly “fix” our human flaws with objects &, or, medication. It certainly raises questions to consider as we grapple with society's dilemmas.  The last find is a less informative but entertaining YouTube video. It shows how a group of friends added a pleasant surprise to their friends’ wedding party. We hope our posts this week have helped you consider initiating new friendships, cultivating existing ones & growing as a friend. Happy Friday, everyone!

The Children's Project

1) Emotionally Healthy Cities Dr. Gerald Newmark, author of How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children & co-founder of The Children’s Project, explains what an emotionally-healthy city is. Click to learn how all cities can strive to become emotionally healthy cities. Thanks to Kelli Cronin for sharing information with me about The Children’s Project on LinkedIn.

2) "Friendship Lessons from Introverts" 
According to this source, introverts offer such benefits to friendships as becoming a better listener, frequent meaningful conversations, and having significant one-on-one time with friends. If you are an introvert, this post is for you!

3) 5 Free Mobile Apps for PTSD, Stress & Anxiety 
This informative article promotes applications that can alleviate people's suffering from PTSD, stress, & anxiety. Its author, Dave MacDonald, is a psychotherapist, consultant, & educator hailing from Asheville, North Carolina. I found this post on Links4Shrinks on LinkedIn.

4)  Diagnosis: Human Written by Ted Gup, this article sheds light on society’s tendency to mistake our flaws & humanity for mental illnesses. Gup puts it well: “We have become increasingly dissociated & estranged from the patterns of life & death, uncomfortable with the messiness of our own humanity, aging &, ultimately, mortality.”


5) Friend's Surprising Wedding Present


                                    See how friends prepared a unique surprising wedding gift.

Special Edition IV: If Our Nation Is Suffering from PTSD, Are Courage & Vulnerability Necessary to Heal?

Thought for the Day: It is taking all my energy to stay focused on relaying my impressions from my trip to Washington DC last week with Moms Demand Action. I am finding myself working double time to keep up with my responsibilities as a psychologist, tweet, post & respond to comments on my facebook page from some people who genuinely believe that more guns are the solution to the problem. However, I think that my experiences may help people understand why it is important to keep the lines of communication open to all sides of this important dilemma. I wanted to go to DC to express my concern that our nation is struggling with post traumatic stress & fears related to multiple traumas since 9/11 which include attacks like Sandy Hook. My observations from Washington combined with my training as a psychologist & specialist dealing with trauma are intertwining in this post as I grapple with ways to help mend the society from PTSD. Bear with me as I share the details from my trip & reach some conclusions that may shed some light on both the problem & some solutions. Winston Churchill a leader who helped the world through traumatic times as well may help with his thoughts on courage.

Last Wednesday morning, bright & early at 6:45 AM,  I joined the other participants of Moms Take the Hill. I checked out of the hotel, but left my belongings there for the day. We were instructed to travel light, since we would be going through security checks multiple times during the day. Food was not allowed through some of the checkpoints, so I had coffee & a light breakfast in the lobby before getting on the bus. I sat next to a 14 year old girl who had come with her mother & sister from Dallas TX. We talked about her fears when she heard about the tragedy in Newtown. I encouraged her to tell her elected officials how she felt & what she wanted to feel safe. I also commended her for spending part of her spring vacation to join this event. We all applauded when the Team of 26 organizer Monte Frank, Newtown resident & his teenage daughter joined us on the bus. They had arrived in DC the day before after biking from Newtown to DC in conjunction with today's event.

After going through two security checks, we were directed to the Eisenhower Executive Office Building next to the White House for a White House Policy Press briefing. We were greeted by Evan Ryan, Assistant to the Vice President fro Public Engagement, Sarah Bianchi, Director of Economic & Domestic Policy Office of the Vice President & Valerie Jarrett, Senior Adviser to the President among others. They let us know how important our support is even to those who support sensible changes to the gun laws in this country. They told us they had not seen a movement like this before & were hopeful that our support was going to get action quickly. However, they also let us know that the opponents are assuming that the "Newtown effect" will disappear. We learned that the gun lobby is very actively pressuring Congress. The senators & congressmen who are standing up for change are being inundated with threats & intimidation. Although over 90% of Americans want changes to our gun laws, the gun lobby, (despite the fact that many of their members do not support them on this issue) a very vocal well organized minority group, with huge financial resources is fighting relentlessly to block any changes in gun laws. Their efforts & intimidation are making it hard for our officials to vote where their common sense & conscience would lead them. The staffers proudly announced that the Violence Against Women Act passed last week after a year of efforts in congress. Lots of pictures were taken with strings of paper dolls with each string of 8 dolls representing the 8 children who are shot & killed every day in America.

After the briefing, we took shuttle buses to Capitol Hill & went through additional security checks before meeting with our senators & congressmen. There were 6 people in my group, 5 were from CT. Our leader who would be helping us to get from meeting to meeting in a timely fashion was from Virginia. We were scheduled to meet with both of our state senators & three congressmen. A last minute change made it possible to meet with both Senators Blumenthal & Courtney together (see photo on right). Since they & the congressmen from CT are supportive of gun sense, our job was to thank them for their efforts & find out what they need from us. In addition, we would be sharing our stories with them. We would get a chance to voice our concerns about the rise in gun violence & our suggestions. Our senators & congressmen were thoughtful, supportive & listened intently to what we had to say. They appreciated our being there & encouraged us to speak with friends & family across the country about these issues. They asked us to ask everyone we know, gun owners & non-gun owners, to speak up & let their senators & congressmen know that they want stricter gun controls.

Our meeting with Representative Jim Hines had an interesting twist. He shared the fact that he is a sportsman who enjoys hunting but he is also a father who knows the time has come for greater restrictions. He said he always tries to see the issue from both sides. Although he disagrees with the gun advocates, he believes that they are fearful & fighting for safety. By recognizing that they are coming from a place of fear he hopes to keep the dialogue open. He said he thought that gun trafficking laws, mandatory background checks & increased school safety would pass. However, he feared that the ban on semi-automatic weapons & high capacity munitions would not. After we left the meeting, we wondered if we should have been more adamant that the ban on semi-automatic weapons being crucial to any significant change to deter gun violence in America. In light of Harry Reid's announcement this week that he will not include the ban of semi-automatic weapons in the bill, it appears that Representative Hines was trying to warn us.

We were in for a treat on our way to the press conference. Our group was accompanied by a senate staffer through a second level of security & boarded the underground transit reserved for elected officials. It took us directly to the US Capitol Visitor Center. The highlight of the day. for me was standing behind the speakers for the hour long press conference. During Nancy Pelosi's speach, she turned around & read a button I was wearing which said: "Protect Children, Not Guns." After the press conference I was able to go up to her & shake her hand. I thanked her for all she was doing to help keep our children safe. The energy & dedication of these courageous women who spoke was inspiring. To stand directly behind Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Carolyn McCarthy, Elizabeth Esty & Shannon Watts was amazing. They made it clear that they will not falter & will continue the battle for sensible changes no matter how long it takes.

Our female congresswomen's courage to "mend & befriend" as opposed to "fight or flight" (see my Thursday's Psychological Trivia Answer) in the face of danger & confront our vulnerability (See today's FF Friday's Fabulous Finds #3) make it imperative that we have women, and men (Like Winston Churchill accept these parts of themselves), in Washington. These traits will help them stand up to the intense heat of the gun lobby.  Gun advocates response to feeling vulnerable is try to numb their feelings of vulnerability, to fight, assume that they have "the only answer" & close their minds to an array of possible solutions which may not be foolproof, but will help make things better.  Being able to accept vulnerability & imperfection are important steps towards creating a safer environment. To do their job & keep focusing on solutions to the problems, our leaders must see all the shades of grey. As I post here & on facebook, I have felt the angry relentless venom that fear & misinformation can ignite. I will continue to try to keep the dialogue open & hope that you will join me & those who want to make sensible changes to help bridge the gap. The barriers & multiple security checks at the White House & on Capitol Hill reflect the actions that our nation is forced to take in light of the rise in violence & fear since 9/11.  Dr. Brene Brown describes this as symptomatic of PTSD on a national level & suggests that we have a "scarcity culture" of fear & feelings of scarcity since 9/11. We must all work to mend from the impact traumatic violence is taking on our society. I believe women will lead the way in the healing process.