Throwback Tuesday: Sunday's Comic Strips: How Do Super Heroes Build Self Confidence?

 

Thought for the Day: The above comic strip was posted on 4/7/2013. In light of a connection I made to another psychologist, +Theresa Regan. I decided to share a guest post from Theresa. She is a Neuro-psychologist at the Illinois Neurological Institute, mother of a child on the autism spectrum &  the author Soul Cries for parents praying for struggling kids. You can view additional posts on her blog: soulcriesparent.blogspot.com. Dr. Regan holds a PhD in Neuropsychology & is a Certified Brain Injury Specialist & also does public speaking about brain function, autistic spectrum, Christian faith, sensory symptoms & executive function.

Here is what I wrote when the post first came out:

Thought for the Day: It's time for Sunday's Comic Strips & decided to stay on the topic of the week, self confidence, Hope you like the it. Join me next week when I will be posting about the Psychological importance of friendships.

This response from New Parenting Hangout on Jul 3, 2013 helped me connect with Theresa:

+Barbara Lavi We all have our own super powers. +Theresa Regan and her son have identified some super powers that help their communication

 

Here's a wonderful post about how Theresa turns her son's symptoms into a  super powers. It could be helpful for kids with ADD & other symptoms as well:

Does Your Child Have 'Super Powers?": Talking to your kids about their autistic spectrum symptoms

By Dr. Theresa Regan
 

                                               

My son is 7 years old and has a diagnosis in the autistic spectrum.  One of the features of the spectrum is that some children and adults can have many sensitivities that feel overwhelming at times.  My son has many sensory symptoms like this: the sun is too bright, crowded places are noisy and chaotic, being touched can feel overwhelming.  The strength of these symptoms seems to be variable through different ages and seasons of life for him.  When he is having a hard day, he has more symptoms.  I remember one season when he was 4 years old.  He was so sensitive at that time that it was hard to function.  He didn't want me to use any of our kitchen appliances because they were too noisy.  Even if he was in a different room with the door closed, he seemed bothered by the noises.  We even considered taking the appliances to the basement!

One decision facing parents whose kids are struggling is how to discuss the struggles without making the child feel chastised or bad about themselves.  In this case, we started talking to him about his super powers!  He could really resonate with this concept.  We talked about how not everyone could see and hear what he could.  His super powers (hearing, vision, etc) could be really valuable and wonderful (e.g., he can pick out details in a picture that no one else sees).  We also talked about how his powers can make life hard or uncomfortable. 

One of our goals was to teach him how to monitor how his powers were doing that day.  We would say, "Are your super powers bothering you today?" or when he could see or hear something we couldn't, we might say "Ah!  Your super powers are turned on.  I didn't even notice that noise."  Then we would ask him to start monitoring his own powers and telling us what he needs that day.  We would say, "If your super powers are really strong today, what can we do to make it feel better."  We would start to teach him options for coping with really strong inputs.  For example, we might suggest sunglasses outside.  I would warn him before I turned on kitchen appliances so he could decide whether he wanted to put his hands on his ears, go upstairs to his room, etc. 

He really responded to the concept of super powers having good aspects as well as challenges.  And he also started monitoring how he was doing on a certain day, and letting us know (with prompts).  Pretty soon, he could start to choose from options about how to cope on that day.

What super powers do your kids have?  How do you talk to your kids about their strengths and challenges? 

I hope this post was helpful to you. You can build your own superpowers by reading my book, too. Stay tuned for our 1st free e-book promotion coming soon!

Throwback Thursday's Trivia Answer: Can a Few Minutes Impact on Self Confidence?

Thought for the Day: I decided to share an older trivia post today. When I reread it, I realized that I also have a great positive update on the family I told you about in 2013. In a recent session, the progress is striking to note. Whereas in the past mornings were a nightmare with tears and constant prodding from the parents to get their child out the door every morning, the child is getting up, dressed and ready on their own with no arguments or battles. I will share some of my thoughts on how therapy has helped and why things have changed next Monday in my Magical Therapy Moments post.
     Here's a throwback Thursday Psychology Trivia post on Self Confidence.
Thought for the Day: On my last Motivational Mondays post, I told a story that I had shared with current clients about a week ago. My current clients were feeling very discouraged & helpless at times when parenting their special needs child.  I told them how I helped a mother who felt just like them with her daughter years ago while working in a day unit of a psychiatric hospital with children & their families in Israel. I have a wonderful update about that story's impact on my current client's family. At the end of this week's session, the father asked to meet with me individually. He told me that he has been losing his temper with his daughter & with his wife. He knows it is inappropriate & making things worse at home. He wants to learn how to control his behavior. Hopefully, my post on Monday will help other people find the courage to ask for help with their own issues, as well.

     Today is Thursday & it's time for the answer to Tuesday's Psychological Trivia Question:.
           True or false: Slouching for a few minutes cannot change your self-confidence. 
     The answer is False. Believe it or not mothers may have known intuitively that sitting up straight improves self confidence. 

     In an article in Time.com's Health & Family section, "Sit up straight, it can boost your confidence," Tiffany O'Callaghan reports the results of a recent study by psychologists at Ohio State and the Universidad Autónoma de Madrid. Seventy-one undergrads at Ohio State were told they were participating in two studies at the same time. They were told one study was trying to find out how well people could hold a certain posture while completing other tasks. The second study was helping to analyze how certain traits impact eligibility for success in business. They were then asked to write down their qualifications for a potential job opportunity.

      One group was instructed to sit up straight, the other was asked to slouch while writing. Those who sat up straight were far more likely to believe in their own merits, compared with those who slouched at their desks. In addition, even after they had completed the writing assignment & were no longer slouching, "those students who had been instructed to hunch over while writing about their potential to succeed... were almost universally less confident in their answers when compared with the group that had been sitting upright during the study."

 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/41832019@N02/4998473663

Found on flickrcc.net

       If a few minutes of writing in a slouched position can impact on self confidence of college students, imagine how slouching on a regular basis impacts on the self esteem of a child whose self confidence is still developing. If you want to help your children (or yourself) build self confidence, standing tall & sitting up straight will help them feel more confident & have less self doubt. It may help them be less likely to become targets for bullies as well. It is well worth providing incentives to train kids to improve their posture. You may want to bring out a heavy book & start practicing balancing it on their heads, it's hard to slouch & balance a book at the same time. (Teachers take note: if you see kids slouching, perhaps you can reward them for sitting up straight with stickers or other small rewards to help improve their self confidence.) Sometimes simple interventions will be enough, however, slouching could also be a sign that a child is unhappy about something in their lives. Whether you are a teacher or a parent, it is worth finding out whether there is something bothering them & getting them help.

        Come back tomorrow for Friday's Fabulous Finds & over the weekend for Saturday's Songs for the Soul & Sunday's Comic Strips.
 

To read more: http://healthland.time.com/2009/10/07/sit-up-straight-it-can-boost-your-confidence/#ixzz2PSMOy0JC

      

Wednesday's Words of Wisdom: Karen Horney on Pride

Thought for the Day: On Monday, I shared how to parent difficult children & overcome self doubt.  Tuesday's Psychological Trivia question addresses self confidence. Today, I chose a quote about building self esteem by one of the pioneers of feminine psychiatry, Karen Horney. Horney was born in 1885 in Germany & was one of the first female psychiatrists. She dared to challenge Freud's theories of personality & sexuality. Many of her theories were ahead of their time. The Horney Clinic in NYC still honors her contribution to the field & offers affordable psychotherapy. When thinking about building self confidence in ourselves & our children, her simple words make sense: "If you want to be proud of yourself, then do things in which you can take pride." In a time when women rarely went to medical school or worked after having children, she forged a path in the field of psychoanalysis. Horney was able to accomplish a great deal despite (or perhaps because of) her own struggles with depression.  She continues to be a role model for women today. Looking at her accomplishments including the books authored by Horney (see below), she practiced what she preached. She would surely be proud of the part she played in women's progress over the years. I hope you will come back tomorrow for the answer to Tuesday's Psychological Trivia Question & on Friday for #FF Friday's Fabulous Finds.

To read more about the life & work of Karen Horney click here.
Books by Karen Horney:

Neurosis and human growth

Feminine psychology

Final Lectures

The Unknown Karen Ho...

The therapeutic process

Tuesday's Psychological Trivia: Can Your Self Confidence Change in a Few Minutes?

Thought for the Day: Yesterday's Motivational Mondays post was related to parenting a difficult child. Parents spend a lot of time trying to bolster their children's self confidence. Today's trivia question is related to building or breaking down self confidence. I've written about building self-confidence before (Every Expert Was Once a Beginner), but this trivia question addresses another angle. What do you think? Can a change in posture for a few minutes change someone's self confidence? Come back for Thursday's Trivia Answer for the answer. Did you get the answer to last week's trivia question on how psychologists define love? Here's this week's question:

          True or false: 
                Slouching for a few minutes cannot change your self-confidence.