Thanksgiving & 6 Mental Health First Aid Tips

As We Celebrate Thanksgiving, many people are still struggling with the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy

Thought for the Day: The day before Thanksgiving I was interviewed on a radio show, "Pay It Forward" with Josephine Geraci on how to cope with the trauma of Hurricane Sandy. Josephine lives on Long Island & grew up in Staten Island. She contacted me on Monday to ask that I come on the show & offer some advice to help all the people on the east coast who have been impacted by Hurricane Sandy. Although my schedule was filled with pre-holiday minutia, I agreed to do the broadcast. To me it felt like the perfect way to give to others just before the Thanksgiving weekend which is very hard following such devastation. Because of the short notice, many people did not get to listen in live, however the broadcast can be downloaded here: bit.ly/Y4dMCrbit.ly/Y4dMCr

As part of the show, I offered some tips to help people deal with the aftermath this & any trauma. I thought I'd share some of the tips here. On the 1 hour radio show, you can hear more about how you can help yourself, your family, friends,  children, neighbors & co-workers deal with the stresses that arise due to trauma. 

Picture of the home of another facebook friend

The picture on the right was from a facebook "friend" whom I've never met. It is heartbreaking to imagine having to sort through a lifetime of belongings, photos & mementos & to tear down homes they have built & cared for for years. Often we don't know what to say or do to support them. On the show, we discuss what you can do to help yourself & your loved ones.  

One of the psychologists/authors that I have "met" via linkedIn & facebook wrote to apologize that she could not listen in because she is too busy packing, packing, packing. I wrote back & found out that her house needs to be gutted. I was able to extend some words of support to her. We are all able to do something, little things can mean a lot to those who have been impacted. Here are a summary of some of the Mental Health tips I gave on the show.

 

Post Trauma Mental Health First Aid Tips
      1) Talk to people about the traumatic events. It is therapeutic even if it feels repetitious. It also allows others to support you. Know that holidays will be hard & try to be with people especially during the holidays. If you don't know what to say, give a hug & just be there with them. Watch kids for a few hours. Bring food just as you might to help a friend who is moving or after an operation.
      2) Take care of yourself: make time to relax, exercise, eat well, meditate. When we are under stress we often push ourselves to the limit & forget to take time for ourselves. Ignoring our need for rest can be counter-productive & leave us even more exhausted, overwhelmed & less able to do the tasks at hand.
      3) Help others who are less fortunate, it will help you as well. Take a look at how one woman, Vanessa McHugh of Queens, made a difference following the hurricane: The Pizza Patrol. Even a phone call to a friend to speak with them & see how they are doing can be helpful.
      4) Look for what you have to be grateful for instead of focusing on what you do not have. Take a look at some of my older posts: Whether the Glass is 1/2 full or 1/2 Empty Make the Most of What You Have Left or this one How A Motorcycle Accident and a Fire Rekindled a Dream.
      5) Be patient with yourself, it takes time to recover from losses. Although we all would like to put a loss behind us & move on quickly, our psyche takes time to recover from any loss or trauma. The average time needed to recover from major losses is a year. Grieve when you feel sad, don't ignore it. It will pass & lessen as time goes by.
      6) If you are having trouble sleeping, have headaches or other physical issues, or frequent flashbacks that do not seem to be lessening over time, speak with a professional. Even if you feel that you or your family are coping with the trauma, it may be helpful to get a mental health check up with a therapist to talk about how everyone is coping with the stress of living through a traumatic event.

I hope you continue to enjoy the rest of this Thanksgiving weekend! As always, I'd love to hear your reactions, comments & feedback. If you have questions, feel free to ask me as well. 

Over the Rainbow Deep In the Heart of Texas

                   PS22 Chorus Sings Over the Rainbow at the 2011 Oscars

Thought of the Day: The video above epitomizes how dreams can come true. The story began in a school located in the Graniteville section of Staten Island NY. The student body is composed of 78% black, Hispanic & Asian students. A chorus teacher, Gregg Breinberg, who the kids call Mr. B, started streaming videos of his chorus made up of mostly 5th graders on YouTube which went viral. The power of their energy, enthusiasm (which you can see in their animated faces) & amazing voices carried them all the way to the 2011 Oscars. A new documentary "Once in a Lullaby" will premiere at the prestigious Tribecca Film Festival in NYC. Most dreams don't come true when we are in 5th grade, but practice, perseverance & passion can pay off over time. Next weekend, I will be attending a reunion at a camp, deep in the heart of Texas, where I & thousands of others had our "Over the Rainbow" lessons in believing in our dreams & our ability to make a difference in the world. Who inspired you as a child to believe in your ability to accomplish your dreams? Was it a teacher, a camp, a parent, a song that helped you keep aiming towards your dreams? I'd love to hear what gave & gives you the strength to continue dreaming as an adult.

As I prepare to go home to Texas, I have been thinking about my second home when I was a child. I lived year round in Houston. I saw a bumper sticker once which said, "You can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't take Texas out of the girl." I was not what most people think of as the typical Texan. I did not grow up on a ranch. I never rode a horse to school. My family did not own an oil well. The closest I came to any of those things was to buy a cowboy hat & tell kids I did those things as a joke, when I went to camp in NY state as a teenager. I was amazed that kids would believe me when I told them those tall tales & quickly set them straight!

I grew up in the middle of a suburban neighborhood in Houston. I have pictures of myself as a small child on a pony dressed up as a cowgirl in a photo taken by a photographer who would go house to house with the pony. Probably every child who grew up in Houston has a photo like that one. You cannot, however, grow up in Texas & not become proud to be a Texan. The history of 6 flags over Texas is rich & inspiring. I was not, however, a typical Texan. Growing up Jewish in Texas was not easy. In elementary school at Woodrow Wilson Elementary School, my family was the only Jewish family. When I was in 6th grade my best friend, Cory Stiles, told me I had ruined Christmas for her in 1st grade when I told her that Santa Clauses in department stores were not really Santa Claus. I was a good student, won the school's spelling bee contest, got lead parts in musicals, but also remember discriminatory remarks. During the year, I was different from all my classmates, I didn't go to CCD or celebrate Christmas or Easter.

In the summers, I was lucky to have a place where my "Over the Rainbow" experiences happened. At the time my home away from home was at Camp Young Judaea in Kerrville, TX (or CYJ). At CYJ, I was able to learn to believe in myself, my heritage, & my ability to make a difference in the world. Every child should have a CYJ in their lives. I remember the excitement I felt every year from the age of 8 till I was 17 & came as a counselor to camp. When the bus arrived, I would run from building to building. It was as if I was making sure it was all still there waiting for the magic to occur inside the bunks, dining room, swimming pool & assembly hall. After running around, unpacking & settling in with a new bunk with old & new friends, I also remember sharing personal stories with bunk mates. It did not take long before there were tears, laughter & bonding. It was all right to share your worries from home & then just be yourself. I excelled at everything I did at camp & tried new things. I was a leader in ways I never allowed myself back home. Somehow, the counselors & friends brought out the best in all the kids at camp. I was not the only one who felt this way at camp, we all did. There was one song that has stuck with me throughout my life called "You and I Will Change the World." We learned to respect differences, to fight for justice & to be proud that our Jewish heritage includes the responsibility to take social action. 

CYJ is now located deep in the heart of Texas, in Wimberley TX, & is celebrating it's 60th Anniversary. Alumni are doctors, lawyers, musicians, film makers, psychologists, educators & are strong supporters of the camp that helped them believe in themselves & their dreams. When one of my friends (who I met at camp when we were 8 years old) & fellow psychologist, Amelia Samet Kornfeld, zl., lost her battle with brain cancer a little over a year ago, I asked her husband what charity he would like me to feature in & support with my book in her memory. When he suggested CYJ, I was thrilled to include my "Over the Rainbow" place that did so much to strengthen my dream potential. (To purchase the book & donate 1/2 of the proceeds to CYJ click here.)

Did you have an "Over the Rainbow" place like CYJ as a child? Was it a camp, a drama club, or a chorus, like the one at PS 22?  Did you have a teacher, coach or mentor who believed in you & helped you learn to believe in your dreams? Do you have one now?  I'd love to hear about them.