Dreams On Wheels Part V: Report from Richmond

Thought for the Day: Time is flying & so much is happening everyday that there is not enough time to write. The 1st day in Richmond we were awed by the accomplishments of Boaz & Ruth. On paper they are amazing in person they are even more inspiring. We have videotaped interviews with their staff & with their founder Martha Rollins which will demonstrate how they have been building dreams, lives & a community in downtown Richmond. Then on Friday & Saturday we spent time at the International convention of Elimination of Prejudice. Their staff, alumni & current students leaders  from around the USA & Canada shared their dreams & accomplishments with us. I presented a talk on how Dreams can help fight bullying. This led to confronting the issue of bullying & hazing on college campuses.  A lively discussion ensued about the dangers of hazing & a search for creative, positive rights of passage that will build rather than harm young adults. I will share video & longer posts in the future. Yesterday was a travel day. Today I begin my Scholar in Residence Programs at Menorah Park in Beachwood OH (near Cleveland).

Dreams On Wheels Part IV: On the Road

Thought for the Day: When you change your routine, you open yourself up to new experiences. I have been anticipating this tour for some time now & already in two days have so many wonderful new experiences that I will be writing about them over the next few months. I'd like to give you a glimpse of what I have been discovering & will elaborate in detail in the future.

Day 1: Weston, NYC, PA, MD, DC, & VA. Road trips have excitement, disappointments, & surprises. I started off bright & early, & was ready when my interns, Kat, Andrew & Katherine arrived around 8:45 AM. All the books, flyers & clothing were packed & ready to go. When the Rental car did not arrive at 9 AM as planned, calls were made & we learned that the car was not ready for us. It needed an oil change & would be ready in about 40 minutes. We had breakfast & waited. Because of the late arrival we discussed how we might adjust our plans to stop along the way.

When the car finally arrived around 10:00 AM, it was raining! We opened our umbrellas & proceeded to pack up 4 suitcases, 4 computer bags, some food & drinks, & 7 boxes of books & supplies! The rental company allowed us to start from Weston, but we delayed signing up additional drivers. They told us we could do so at any of their offices along the route. Because of the rain, we were unable to put the signs on the van, but by 10:30 AM  Dreams On Wheels 2012 was off & running!

Kat, Kathryn, DrB, & Andrew in NYC with our new signs for Dreams On Wheels

Mitch, Aspiring Singer

By the time we reached NYC, the sun greeted us as well. Our signs went up, we took some pictures & found the 1st two people to interview in our roving positive psychology project. In this traveling research project, I want to discover how people are doing in the pursuit of their dreams. 

With newspapers & television reporting so much of the negative happenings in our world, I'd like to assess how people's dreams are impacted. Are people cancelling their dreams, due to all the strife in the world? Mitch, an aspiring actor & singer, living in NYC was at the Cloisters with Tracy, his mother, a teacher from OH were the first people we approached and interviewed. Parts of their interviews can be viewed at the top of this page. Mitch's dreams are alive & well & thriving! He is even working on a musical about a young couple working on their dreams! 

We also interviewed his mother to see how she raised such a 'wake up dreamer.' Interestingly, Tracy did a great job dream parenting her son, but seems to be questioning her ability to accomplish her own dreams to travel due to financial concerns. I spoke with her about an older couple I know in their 80's who traveled around Europe by volunteering to help harvest fruits on farms. I encouraged her to give herself the same kind of encouragement she gave her sons & her students to follow their dreams. I also suggested that she read my book to see other ways to accomplish her dreams even when finances are tight.

Dream Team Kathryn, Kat, Andrew & Dr. Barbara Lavi by the statue of Babe's Dream at Camden Yard Baltimore

Dream Team In the footsteps of Babe Ruth

Due to time constraints & traffic, we went to Baltimore MD & postponed our stop in DC until Sunday, but in Baltimore we found 3 more subjects not far from the statue of Babe Ruth, the Dreamer, at Oriole Park at Camden Yards. Parts of their interviews are in the above video as well. Their insights into the progression of their dreams were very interesting.  We met, Mike, a man, in his 40's from Philadelphia, who just landed his dream job. We also spoke to Rebecca a 24 year old woman from Baltimore,  who dreamed of being a chef only to realize that she wants to be a restaurant owner. She is now working on accomplishing that dream & is glad that she first trained as & worked as a chef before deciding to become an owner. Linda, a retiree from Florida, told us about her dream journey. She fought the expectation that women could only become teachers, nurses, secretaries or housewives & became an interior decorator. Later in life, realizing that she needed to be a salesperson to be a decorator, she decided to become a teacher. Now she is retired and says she is living her dream!

On Day 2 in Richmond VA, we toured & met with staff who are graduates of Boaz & Ruth, one of the charities featured in The Wake Up and Dream Challenge. Meeting with these amazing ex-offenders who now have a second chance in life to reach their dreams was inspiring. Their interviews will follow soon as well. Their mistakes & incarceration did not stop them from moving towards their dreams, thanks to the amazing program Boaz & Ruth offers their apprentices. I also had time to meet with Martha Rollins, founder of Boaz & Ruth, who joined me for a one half hour interview with Joann Mathis on her radio show Artists, Designers, and Things oh My. You can listen to the interview on the link to her site.

Today I begin my work with Elimination of Prejudice's National Convention here in Richmond VA.  Hope you will follow our journey. I will post as frequently as I can, since so much is happening!

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Throwback Thursday: What Do Former Convicts & Foster Girls Have in Common?

Emancipation Does Not Always Lead to Freedom

Thought for the day: Today is Independence Day & for Throwback Thursday I'm bringing back & have updated an post from February 17, 2012: What Do Former Convicts & Foster Girls Have in Common? For those of us who take freedom for granted & expect others to thrive in our liberated society, this post may open your eyes to a different world where emancipation does not always lead to freedom.

It is sad to realize that former convicts & emancipated foster girls have anything in common,  but they do. They are both at high high risk for homelessness & incarceration within a year of emancipation. (Seven out of 10 foster youth will be homeless; 6 out of ten will be incarcerated within 1 year of emancipation. Twelve percent of formerly incarcerated persons end up homeless after being released from prison; 30% return to jail within a year. ) They also both tend to have histories of sexual & physical abuse in their childhood. (Half of the girls in foster care have been physically &/or sexually abused.  One in 20 men & 1 in 4 women in state prisons report that they were sexually abused before the age of 18. One in 10 men & 1 in 4 women in state prisons report that they were physically abused as children.) Clearly, our society is not helping either of these groups enough to insure that they become productive members of society once they are "emancipated" from jail or faster care. Read on to see how theses statistics can be turned around.

The ex-convicts in the Boaz & Ruth (Richmond VA) programs & foster girls chosen to take part in the HerShe Group (Los Angeles) have some positive things in common as well. These two organizations are changing the odds for their participants. Sixty-four percent of Boaz & Ruth's graduates have jobs after graduation from their program & 75% are still employed a year later. The graduates of Boaz & Ruth have reduced recidivism from 30% to 12%. HerShe's mentoring program is preparing girls in foster care for emancipation & helping them transition to college & jobs in the adult world. Clearly, these programs are teaching their participants ways to enhance their Dream Quotients (DQ) in both the ability to persevere despite physical or emotional challenges & the increasing their ability to adapt to life transitions. The other thing they have in common is that both programs are featured in & benefit from The Wake Up And Dream Challenge.

Life transitions are hard for everyone, but some people have developed the ability to adapt to transitions better than others. Life transitions can be stumbling blocks or opportunities depending on how you approach them. In my book, I examined the traits that seem to differentiate those who stumble from those who embrace the opportunities within a transition. Having made successful transitions earlier in life prepare us for the transitions we will face throughout life.

Overcoming a move to a new school, a parent being unemployed, a divorce or death of a family member during childhood can be traumatic or they can strengthen children & prepare for life's challenges in adulthood. For the latter to occur, some adults may also need to be supported through the transitions. In The Wake Up And Dream Challenge, I show how clients, faced with life transitions, reevaluated their dreams. The examples I give include a woman who lost her identity while supporting her husband & child's dreams, a man who struggled with a sudden change of direction when he neared graduation from college & a woman who had no idea how she could survive when she lost child support when her children reached adulthood. With therapy & the use of the Dream Positioning System (DPS), they were able to redirect their lives. If they grew up with positive role models who encouraged them & supported them through transitions, with minimal help in therapy, they were able to move on with their lives.

 Foster care children have multiple transitions throughout their childhoods. Foster youth in the system for 4 years or more have lived in 47 different homes. Unfortunately, often these transitions are not successful. Instead of being opportunities to strengthen the child & prepare them for life, they lead to a sense of insecurity & fear of failure when faced with emancipation at age 18. Most children from healthy families have some difficulty transitioning to college & adulthood. The transition for kids leaving foster care is much more challenging. Foster kids need additional supports to learn ways to transition to a healthier adulthood. Twenty percent of the nation's foster care children reside in the state of California & there is a disproportionate number of females in & impacted negatively by the system. The HerShe Group offers girls in foster care a year long mentoring program to prepare for the transition to emancipation. They are helping them succeed & venture into college programs rather than homelessness & incarceration.

Boaz & Ruth helps with another life transition that many of us never think about: emancipation after incarceration.  Boaz & Ruth ’s mission is to rebuild lives & communities through relationships, transitional jobs, & economic revitalization. Although most of Boaz & Ruth participants & graduates have a history of incarceration, they now successfully operate 5 social enterprises & have renovated a dozen dilapidated or abandoned buildings in the Highland Park area of Downtown Richmond VA. Eight of those buildings now provide affordable housing for nearly 40 men & women.

One of those graduates is Donna Scaturro. When Donna eventually graduated from Boaz & Ruth, it was on her 3rd determined try in the program. In a year’s time she remained in recovery from substance abuse, received her drivers’ license, purchased a car & had her voting rights restored in time for the 2008 Presidential election. When asked why she believed she succeeded at Boaz & Ruth on the third try, Donna explained, “I’ve learned resilience. I’ve learned not to give up. My return was never as I imagined, but I was always welcomed back with love & hopefulness. They really wanted me to succeed.”

Both of these organizations are transforming lives & beating the odds stacked against the populations they serve.  They are helping people reach their dreams & therefore they were chosen to be included to be in The Wake Up & Dream Challenge. You can learn more about their work & support their efforts. To purchase the e-book version on Amazon.com & contribute to Boaz & Ruth click here. To purchase the book & contribute to HerShe click here.

Have a wonderful 4th of July!