Saturday's Songs for the Soul: Frank Sinatra's All the Way, Love & Addiction

Thought for the Day: Today's song is a love song with a positive message and a sad lilting melody that became a huge hit for Frank Sinatra and many other artists. As Valentine's Day approaches, I decided to share a love song. I intended to share a simple upbeat song. Little did I know that "All the Way" which has been a favorite of mine since I was a young child would take me on a very different path. As I researched the song, I realized it was more than a love song & has a powerful connection to the problem of addiction which, as a psychologist has been on my mind due to Phillip Seymour Hoffman's death.
      I attributed my love of the song to seeing Sinatra in a movie when I was in just in elementary school. I did not remember much about the movie, only that I saw it one of my Sunday visits with my father & brothers after my parent's divorce. Around the same time, we went on vacation with my father to the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone National Park. When we traveled with my father we ate only at Diner's Club network restaurants (one of the first credit card businesses), which were usually fairly fancy steak restaurants. When we stopped to eat in Las Vegas, my father spotted & pointed out that Frank Sinatra, whom we has seen in the movie, was drinking at the bar. I think my father went up to him & told him we enjoyed the movie. The song & that encounter led to a crush on Sinatra for many years.
     Today, for the 1st time, I researched the movie, "The Joker is Wild." The song, "All the Way" by Jimmy Van Heusen and Sammy Cahn, won the 1957 Academy Award for Best Original Song. Given serious adult content, I was somewhat surprised that I was taken to see the movie, but my father was not a very good judge of appropriate movies for young children. Sinatra's character, Joe E. Lewis, a singer, stand-up comic & alcoholic had serious trouble with the mob & his love relationships. In hindsight, I think the song struck a chord for me (although I did not understand the full meaning otf the song or the movie), since my parents were unable to sustain an "All the Way" kind of love. The song somehow made me feel hope that even if it is difficult, lasting love could be found.
     The tragic death of actor, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, which I wrote about earlier in the week, What Preventable Plague Is Causing 1 in 4 Deaths?, alongside the movie from the 50's, raise some serious questions. The details of Hoffman's estranged relationship with his girlfriend and the photos of his grieving children, make me wonder why is our society not helping those suffering from the illness of drug and alcohol addiction better than when I was a child? When will we learn how to hate the addiction, love the person & help them get the quality care they desperately need? Can we love "all the way?' I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments on this important subject.

Here are 3 interesting videos: one of the song performed by Frank Sinatra, an trailer from the movie, and scenes from the end of the movie.

                         

What Are Your #WW Wake Up Wednesday Moments: From Domestic Violence & Feeling Invisible to Reaching Dreams

Thought for the Day: Last week I started this new kind of post: #WW Wake Up Wednesday Moments, where your needs are central to the post. In order to do that I set some simple ground rules to insure that this community feels safe enough to share your highs and lows.

I'd like to reiterate the guidelines for posting:
1) Avoid making judgements of other people's life choices, 2) all comments should be supportive & constructive, 3) feel free to share advice based on your experiences recognizing that they may or may not be accepted by other readers, 4) treat all comments with respect; 5) no dream is too big or too small to share; 6) all accomplishments will be encouraged; and 7) all challenges will be met with constructive supportive suggestions.


Last week, I shared my high and low wake up moments for the last couple of weeks. I asked you, my readers to share yours as well. Two people shared incredible stories. I am thankful that they took the risk to be the 1st to share their Wake Up Dream Moments. I responded to them personally, but have not heard your input, yet. So I decided to post their comments. Please share your thoughts and constructive suggestions here today. I also hope that you will all consider sharing your own stories that may help these two strong people. The first comment is from a woman who is still struggling and searching for ways to cope with adversity. The 2nd post by Cathie is the inspirational story of how far she has come from feeling invisible in high school to becoming a strong woman on the path to her dreams!

Here are the two comments from last Wednesday:

AnonymousAugust 14, 2013 at 4:27 PM

Looks like I get to start this...

"My low for the week relates to my kids. I have 2 that have been living with their father (my ex). My daughter has been very unhappy because of things going on and wanting to return. She's talked about things her father is doing that bother her and how he treats her compared to her brother. My son is allowed to get away with anything, including threatening his sister. Their father uses his health issues and memory problems to tell my daughter that she needs to remind him when she's told him about things her brother has done so that he remembers to reprimand him. This lead to 3 altercations in my home in less than a week. I resorted to calling law enforcement in after he jabbed me in the throat (fist to the throat) when I stepped in between him and his sister because he was threatening her. I reacted and slapped him but did not leave a mark what-so-ever. He then slammed me into a door twice, using his forearm across my throat the second time. Things resulted in hi being arrested. Now, he is back with his dad because I admitted that I slapped him during the altercation. I want my son to learn boundaries and to treat women with respect. Unfortunately, he's not learning it there. To boot, I've had an attorney that I've been trying to get to get papers filed with the court to reopen things and he's dragging his feet. I'm depressed and feeling at the end of my rope.

On a positive note, I had to move. It was a state to state move. I've started getting things organized. Almost have my kitchen to where I like it and have started getting things posted on an area on-line site so I can both downsize (necessary) and earn some money while I look for a job. Plus, I got a resume set up with the state workforce office this week."

     Have you gone through a messy divorce or struggled with a teenager who is out of control? What has helped you cope with these kinds of issues. If you are a therapist, what ideas do you have for this mother who is facing so many challenges?

CathieAugust 15, 2013 at 1:47 AM

"I attended my 30th high school reunion. I recognized many people, but they did not recognize me. In high school, I was a person that blended well with the wall. My father was an alcoholic, my mother a woman that needed a man, to make her feel worthy. My only goal after high school was to be happy. Honestly, I can say I have achieved that. I am a strong woman, wife, mother of 2 & 1 angel, survivor of a terrible car accident in 1990 (my car went under a semi-truck), and even survived a year off in 2009-2010 due to the economy.

The reunion was a great wake up call to remind me what I have accomplished, and that nothing is impossible, if I can dream it, it can happen."

        Have you ever felt invisible? What has helped you overcome childhood and adolescent difficulties like Cathie's? 

        I hope you will help me build this community and share your thoughts and supportive suggestions.

Flashback Tuesday: Part III: Paying It Forward Deep in the Heart of Texas

      Today I decided to repost a blog that I wrote in 2012, since it highlight the story of a Veteran, Higher Ground's recreational therapy program & paying it forward. All week you can purchase a copy of the Wake Up and Dream Challenge with a discount (today it is 40% off tomorrow it will be more expensive, so the sooner you download the book the bigger discount you will get). Every time someone buys the buys the book on Amazon 1/2 of the profits will go to Higher Ground, so you will be helping honor our veterans & wounded warriors. (You do not need to own a kindle to download the book. Using Kindle's free cloud reader you can download it to your computer, ipad or smartphone.) You can also send it as a gift to friends.

Pay it Forward The Movie 2000 with Helen Hunt & Kevin Spacey

Thought for the Day: Yesterday was Pay it Forward Day. On Wednesday, I took part in a special 2 hour live radio program Paying It Forward with Josephine Geraci to celebrate Pay It Forward Day. I was one of multiple entrepreneurs included in the show who are paying it forward in their businesses, including Catherine Ryan Hyde, author & founder of the Pay It Forward movement. The book became a movie in 2000 starring Helen Hunt & Kevin Spacey. You can download & listen to the radio program & be inspired. How have you payed it forward? Has someone payed it forward for you? I would love to hear your stories.

After I left Camp Young Judaea TX last Sunday, I stopped to buy water at the 1st gas station before I got onto the highway. When I went to pay, a man in line told me I could go first. I was not in a hurry & at 1st did not understand why he let me check out before him. He was leaning against the counter, with his shirt unbuttoned & his hand against his chest. It was 90 degrees outside & the man, who already had what used to be called a healthy tan, appeared to have the start of a sunburn. I asked if he was all right. He told me he was having an angina attack, but he would be OK. He said, "I've had them before, but I left my medicine at home. I walked too much today." I asked if he needed a ride. He said he would appreciate it & offered to pay me gas money. I told him there was no need to pay me anything & offered to take him to a hospital if he felt it was necessary. Since he lived close by, I asked the cashier who had been listening to our conversation, if he knew him & whether he could vouch for him. The cashier assured me he knew Joe & it was fine for me to drive him home. (If I disappeared, the cashier would know where to look for me!)

Joe also had an orange tree (more like a potted plant) that he had been carrying with him in the scorching Texas sun. He put the plant in the back seat & we began our journey. As he reached into his pocket, I told him again that there was no need for him to pay me. Instead, he pulled out his Veteran's ID card to let me know he had served our nation. He also apologized for having the smell of alcohol on his breath since he had taken a drink to help ease the pain. As he directed me to his home, a shack with a "roof that needs fixing,"  he told me he felt lucky to be able to rent it for only $415 a month.

When we got to his place, he asked if I would mind praying with him. When I agreed, he asked if he could hold my hand. He thanked Jesus for getting him home safely & then he prayed for my safe return home. When I was a child, I would mouth the words of Christmas carols thinking it was against my religion to sing words that were not my religion's beliefs, but I felt honored to be included in Joe's prayer. When he got out of the car & took his orange tree, he stumbled a bit & told me that he has neuropathy in both feet.

I felt I had done the right thing & may have saved Joe from having a heart attack, but was most touched by his prayer for me. When he showed me his Veteran's ID, I started to tell him about Higher Ground & the great work they do to help veterans, but stopped myself. Instead, I am sharing this story with you & I hope that it will inspire you to pay it forward & help a veteran.

In War there are no unwounded soldiers

There are too many veterans, like Joe, living with multiple physical & invisible wounds on below poverty level incomes. As the T-shirt in the above picture says, "In war, there are no unwounded soldiers." I don't know if Joe has an alcohol addiction, but he does have a heart condition & appears to have diabetes. He can't afford a car in a place where there is virtually no public transportation. He is a proud man who is getting by with very little & thankful for what he has. Joe & all our veterans deserve more. Programs like Higher Ground use recreational followed by three years of vocational therapies to rehabilitate our war heroes.

Recreational Therapies provided by Higher Ground

You can Pay it Forward by buying a book which supports Higher Ground. When you finish reading the book, donate it to a library, encourage your friends or book club to do the same. Happy Pay It Forward Day. Let's make it 365 days a year!