Wake Up and Dream Catalyst: Short inspirational thoughts for the day. Raising questions & hopefully opening a dialogue with people interested in learning how to turn their dreams into plans and start navigating their way towards them.
Thought for the Day: I had trouble choosing which photos to post today and decided to post two. After yet another snow storm this week, the creative snow sculpture from Duchess County Fairgrounds on Facebook's post was too funny not to share right now. In my practice as a psychologist, almost every session begins with people, myself included, questioning their sanity wondering why they are living in Connecticut. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) diagnosis have sky rocketed this year and sales of natural spectrum light fixtures are at a record high. Since around half of the country has been affected by one of the worst winters in years, keeping our sense of humor will help us all cope with the weather till spring finally arrives. When it does we will appreciate it more than usual.
If you have had enough cold and snow, PLEASE...Raise Your Hands Photo from Duchess County Fairgrounds on Facebook
The second comic photo I chose is related to Valentine's Day. With all the hype about Valentine's Day many people forget how depressing the holiday is for people who are single and not in a relationship. If you don't have a special relationship, just broke up or are going through a divorce, Valentine's Day can be a very painful reminder of what is missing in your life. You can take advantage of 1/2 price chocolate and try to eat away your sadness. Humor, on the other hand, is a less fattening way to cope with Valentine's Blues. The writers at Buzz feed created some funny cards to give to yourself. Here's one that I chose, but you can click the link below to see more funny cards!
Valentine’s Cards For Single People To Give To Themselves
Because if you’re going to buy yourself chocolate, you might as well give yourself a card.
Thought for the Day; The day after Valentine's Day, Mary Chapin Carpenter and Michael Doucet and BeauSoleil changed my life. Back in 1981, I was doing a lot of country western dancing. The music and fun dance steps were like therapy for my soul. One of the songs and the dance that went with it "Down at the Twist and Shout," written and performed by Mary Chapin Carpenter with the Cajun band BeauSoleil was a favorite of mine. At the time, I was also writing country music and spending time in Nashville whenever I could to improve my writing skills. After I saw another zydeco band, Beau Jaques and the High Rollers, I came up with a tune called ,"The Zydeco Swing," which was in some ways similar to Mary Chapin Carpenter's crossover hit. I was in New York City for the Valentine's/President's Day weekend. I was feeling a bit down because plans to meet with a long distance friend from Texas did not work out, due to the possibility of a snow storm (Sound familiar?). My brother and his wife were leaving town Saturday morning and I had no plans for the rest of the weekend.
I was determined to have a good time. So I scoured the New York Times for things to do. When I saw that BeauSoleil was playing at Tramps (which closed in 2001) that night, I knew where I was going. I even took a tape with "Zydeco Swing" on it, in case I got to speak to the band. I hoped I would get a chance to dance, but knew that I would enjoy the music. What I did not know was that I would not only get to dance, but would meet my life partner, Jerry, that night. A friend of his, who DJ's a music program on Long Island, even gave my tape to BeauSoleil when he interviewed the band during their break. Jerry and I have been together ever since that night. If I had not gone to that concert, we would never have met!
Today's song for the soul is dedicated to Jerry and to finding love on the day after Valentine's Day or any day of the year!
Thought for the Day: While looking for photos for Valentine's Day, I found a few very funny ones in creative commons. This woman surely bends over backwards for love! Have you done crazy funny things for love? I'd love it if you'd share some. Have a wonderful Valentine's Day!
Here are some of my Fabulous Finds for this week:
1) A very cute post from Our Mom Spot. There have been a lot of snow days lately! I'm ready for spring already!
3) For Valentine's Day, here's a video from Simon's Fund with the story of an Olympic medalist's journey. Save a life help get children's heart's tested.
Thought for the Day: Today I copied an image and a quote from Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America. Those of you who have been following my blog know that I have been advocating for stricter gun control laws since the Sandy Hook Tragedy. I have lobbied with Moms Demand Action in DC and am impressed with their tireless efforts. They make political activism easy with twitter and facebook campaigns. I love the quote they used with their Valentine's Day campaign:
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from indomitable will." Mahatma Ghandi
When we see things in society that we want to change we must find our inner strength to persevere and stand up for what we believe. Often when tragedies occur, we feel helpless, taking action and joining forces with like minded people, can help us feel empowered. Valentine's Day is a day dedicated to love. Too many lives of innocent children and loved ones are being stolen from us due to lack of sensible background checks for those who wish to purchase guns or to gun owners' carelessness . Too many children are dying when they have access to unsecured guns, leading to accidental shootings by children. The image above came with a call for action for Valentine's Day. I hope you will tweet, post, and share it and follow the call to action. Just click on the bit.ly link below & tweet to your senators and congressmen. It will only take a couple of minutes, but it could save lives.
MOM'S Demand Action's VALENTINE'S DAY CALL TO ACTION: Despite the 43 school shootings since Newtown, Congress continues to turn a blind eye to America's gun violence epidemic. Use our Fast-Tweet link to tell Congress our hearts are broken, but our will is strong. And while you’re at it, Tweet them a pic of your Valentine with the hashtags#MomsBrokenHearts and #MomsDemandhttp://bit.ly/MCuDcd - LIKE and SHARE this post!
Thought for the Day: It's Sunday & time for comics. I decided to look for photos that could make funny valentines cards. Do you have any ideas for funny captions? I made this photo for facebook, but you can click + for like A, share for prefer B and comment here if you have captions. Have a great end of the weekend!
There are just 3 days left to vote for your favorite photos from last year's blog posts for a chance to win a 1/2 hour consult with me and a free copy of The Wake Up and Dream Challenge. You will be asked first to like my facebook page and then place your vote.
Photo A from Flicr Creative Commons is from a jazz musician's promotion:
Gottlieb Collection Assignment No. 037
Reference print available in Music Division, Library of Congress.
Purchase William P. Gottlieb
Forms part of: William P. Gottlieb Collection (Library of Congress).
In: "Took 'em off," Down Beat, v. 14, no. 9 (Apr. 23, 1947), p. 3.
Thought for the Day: Today's song is a love song with a positive message and a sad lilting melody that became a huge hit for Frank Sinatra and many other artists. As Valentine's Day approaches, I decided to share a love song. I intended to share a simple upbeat song. Little did I know that "All the Way" which has been a favorite of mine since I was a young child would take me on a very different path. As I researched the song, I realized it was more than a love song & has a powerful connection to the problem of addiction which, as a psychologist has been on my mind due to Phillip Seymour Hoffman's death.
I attributed my love of the song to seeing Sinatra in a movie when I was in just in elementary school. I did not remember much about the movie, only that I saw it one of my Sunday visits with my father & brothers after my parent's divorce. Around the same time, we went on vacation with my father to the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone National Park. When we traveled with my father we ate only at Diner's Club network restaurants (one of the first credit card businesses), which were usually fairly fancy steak restaurants. When we stopped to eat in Las Vegas, my father spotted & pointed out that Frank Sinatra, whom we has seen in the movie, was drinking at the bar. I think my father went up to him & told him we enjoyed the movie. The song & that encounter led to a crush on Sinatra for many years.
Today, for the 1st time, I researched the movie, "The Joker is Wild."The song, "All the Way" by Jimmy Van Heusen and Sammy Cahn, won the 1957 Academy Award for Best Original Song. Given serious adult content, I was somewhat surprised that I was taken to see the movie, but my father was not a very good judge of appropriate movies for young children. Sinatra's character, Joe E. Lewis, a singer, stand-up comic & alcoholic had serious trouble with the mob & his love relationships. In hindsight, I think the song struck a chord for me (although I did not understand the full meaning otf the song or the movie), since my parents were unable to sustain an "All the Way" kind of love. The song somehow made me feel hope that even if it is difficult, lasting love could be found.
The tragic death of actor, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, which I wrote about earlier in the week, What Preventable Plague Is Causing 1 in 4 Deaths?, alongside the movie from the 50's, raise some serious questions. The details of Hoffman's estranged relationship with his girlfriend and the photos of his grieving children, make me wonder why is our society not helping those suffering from the illness of drug and alcohol addiction better than when I was a child? When will we learn how to hate the addiction, love the person & help them get the quality care they desperately need? Can we love "all the way?' I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments on this important subject.
Here are 3 interesting videos: one of the song performed by Frank Sinatra, an trailer from the movie, and scenes from the end of the movie.
Thought for the Day: Whether you have a Valentine or not, many people struggle with Valentine's Day blues. Jon Stewart used this fact to poke fun when he said, "Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're
probably alone."
Today's post will offer some ways to avoid the depressive symptoms that may arise when things are not going the way you hoped for on Valentine's Day. As a psychologist, I have helped clients deal with all the challenges of relationships. Personally, after going through a divorce many years ago, I gave a lot of thought to the challenges of being single & meeting partners in a world filled with couples. Today, I am sharing some of the insights I learned over the years to keep from letting Valentine's Day get you down. As always, I'd like to hear your reactions, stories & comments. I'd especially love to hear about your worst & best Valentine's Day experiences.
Sixteen years ago, I could have had a bad case of Valentine's Blues. I had been single for about a year and a half. In addition to my psychology practice, single parenting, writing songs, & dancing as exercise & social networking, I ran a small business helping single dancers find partners. The dance business was a pre-internet based resource for dancers. Although I did not run dances, I decided to try to co-sponsor a dance in NYC on Valentine's Day. In 1977, it fell on the Friday before President's Day. When plans to meet a friend from Texas fell through due to a winter storm warning, I had no other plans for my Big Apple escape. Therefore, I had a long weekend ahead with just the Friday night event. I was staying at my brother & sister-in-law's in Soho, but they were leaving the city Saturday morning.
The dance Friday night was disappointing & I was beginning to feel a bit down on Saturday morning. However, I vowed to take advantage of a weekend in the city that never sleeps & not to slip into the Valentine blues. I searched the Village Voice & the New York Times for activities. I chose a number of things that I knew would make it an enjoyable weekend. I had a massage in Chinatown, lunch in Soho, & a matinee of the movie Shine (see video clip from the Oscar winning performance by Geoffrey Rush), at the Angelica Film Center. I picked up dinner at one of the grocers near Greene Street & ate at my brother's loft. For the evening, I chose a Beau Soleil concert at Tramps (which closed in 2001). Since the band plays Cajun dance music, (in 1986 they were featured in the movie, The Big Easy) I hoped I would be able to dance. Just in case, I did not get to dance, I chose a late ballroom dance event for after the concert.
My daytime activities were great. When the evening started, I was not sure I had picked well. I was seated at a small table with an unhappily married woman who confided that she was on a blind date. Her date's muscular tattooed body was a bit intimidating. However, I like Cajun music & even had a tape of a song I co-wrote called, The Zydeco Swing, in my purse. I was hoping I would find a way to get the tape to Michael Doucet, the leader of the band (They played backup for Mary Chapin Carpenter on the crossover country hit, Down at the Twist & Shout). My table mate asked me to join her on the dance floor since she was a bit uncomfortable with her escort! On the floor, we stood near a small group of friends, 2 men in wheel chairs with their girl friends & their friend, Jerry, who was there without a date. Jerry & I began talking & dancing. He was a NYC special education teacher & a good dancer (I later learned that he had never done Cajun dancing & simply picked up the 2-step naturally that night.). One of Jerry's friends, Mark, was a DJ for a small Long Island folk & blues radio program. Mark was lined up to interview Michael Doucet, during the band's break! Jerry asked him & Mark agreed to give my tape to the band leader! Jerry & I stayed for the 2nd set after his friends left. After the concert, Jerry walked me back to Soho where we had a 3 AM breakfast at Lucky Strike. Little did we know it was our lucky strike & we have been together ever since.
So, what are the lessons you can learn from my Valentine's Day experience. I was lucky, but the lessons apply whether you meet someone or not. If you are single, often you will meet someone when you least expect it. Here are some tips: 1) Make plans to do things you enjoy. Whatever happens, if you choose well, you will have a great time. You are also more likely to meet people with similar interests. 2) Speak with both men & women. Meeting new friends is always helpful. Having friends to go out to events with when you do not have a date, can be a huge asset. They may have, siblings, cousins or friends for you to meet. If you like them, you may like their friends as well.
3) Don't be afraid to go by yourself to events. Celebrate your freedom to do whatever you feel like doing without having to consider anyone else. You can meet someone anywhere & when you are alone, you are more likely to speak with & be open to meeting new people. Choose events where people might interact, museum talks, dances, or a class.
4) This year it's easy to find a dance. All week you can sign up for One Billion Rising to raise awareness & stop violence against women. Events are happening all over the world (see my #FF Friday's Fabulous Finds post for details). Women & men, who care about women, will be dancing all week!
5) Starbucks has offered a buy one get one free coupon till 2/14/2013. Get a coupon & offer to share it with someone at Starbucks. You never know who you might meet over a free cup of coffee!
Use this as an opportunity to repair things
If you are in a relationship, Valentine's Day holds different challenges. If you are getting along, the biggest danger lies in disappointments due to unspoken expectations. Take some time to talk about & plan your Valentine's Day. Do you hope for gifts or cards as part of your holiday? Do you want to be surprised or will you be disappointed if your partner's plans are less than you expect. No matter how long you have been together, your partner cannot read your mind. Take some time to discuss what you want your plans to include.
If your relationship has been rocky over the last few months, Valentine's Day can be even more challenging. However, it can also be an opportunity for a peace offering. Write a heartfelt letter expressing your wish to improve your relationship starting with Valentine's Day. Plan a getaway & surprise your partner. Visit the place you met or frequented when you were dating.
Now it's your turn please share your best &/or worst Valentine's Day stories. Have a wonderful Valentine's Day!
Thought for the Day: I love the internet. It exposes me to new things
every day. This week was no exception. My #FF Friday's Fabulous Finds
this week include: two videos about a Professor, I happen to know personally, from Tufts Medical School who uses Rap to teach students about stem cell research, a world wide Valentine's Day Dance with Jane Fonda
leading the way to stop violence against women, questions to facilitate communication with your children
& an article with questions a five year old might ask their
working mother about juggling work & motherhood.
1) My first Fabulous Find was a video, http://bcove.me/ip2g48yb, from The Boston Globe about Jonathan Garlick, A Tufts University professor who uses Rap music to teach students about stem cell research. I've met Jonathan socially several times while in Boston & never suspected his hidden talents. The 60 year old professor has earned a reputation with his students as the Stem Cell Rapper. I have included not only the Boston Globe article, but an earlier YouTube video (above) that went viral. He is an educator who is literally breaking down a difficult subject & communicating his message about the importance of stem cell research to young people in a way that they will remember.
2) My second Fabulous Find for the week brings together multiple areas of interest for me. I have been a fan of Jane Fonda for many years. Her acting skills, outspoken ability to speak her mind even when her beliefs are unpopular, candid sharing of her personal problems & support for feminine causes are some of my reasons for respecting her. I have heard her speak twice & spoke with her briefly each time. The first time, I learned about her early painful years in Connecticut. I had not known that Ms. Fonda spent years in therapy trying to make sense of her mother's suicide when Jane was just a toddler. I also heard how years after Jane had taken on the cause of helping women victimized by rape, that she learned that her mother had been raped. So I was hooked when I saw that Jane Fonda was sponsoring this massive event: V Day Until the Violence Stops, http://janefonda.com/one-billion-rising/#.URK3X2P3hF0.facebook. But my excitement did not stop there. The event involves another of my passions, dancing, to help promote the cause. They call it One Billion Rising / Strike / Dance / Rise! Events are happening around the world & anyone (including men who care about their mothers, daughters & wives) can join in the world wide flashmob experience. Take a look, find an event over Valentine's week near where you live & join the movement!
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3) I discovered my third find on Google+. This blog post by +Stefanie Mullen suggests 10 questions a week for Table Talk with your children: http://www.ooph.com/table-talk/table-talk-family-dinner-questions-week-37/#. This week's post is number 37, but you can check previous weeks. On the blog you will find great ideas for conversation starters with your kids like: 8. If I had to dance or sing in front of your friends, which would be less embarrassing for you? or 10. If I gave you one rule free day, which rule would you most be excited to be free of? It's never too early to start speaking with your kids about all kinds of topics so that they will feel comfortable speaking with you as they enter the tough teen years.
