Tuesday's Psychology Survey: Is Violence On the Rise Among Children? Be Part of the Solution

Thought for the Day: I was extremely excited by all the responses to the qualitative research project that I did over the last week and a half. I decided to try SurveyMonkey to address another important issue: Violence and Children. I hope you will take a few minutes to complete this anonymous survey. Even if you post your e-mail, it will not be connected to your specific responses. I will not share any e-mails either. I look forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas. I will collect responses for the next week till November 4, 2014 and begin sharing results about a week later. Thanks in advance for your help.

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world's leading questionnaire tool.

Motivational Mondays: Will Middle East Tragedy Bring Peace & Reconciliation or Retribution?

Thought for the Day: Sometimes, even psychologists remain silent when they are upset. This has been the case for me regarding the events over the past weeks in the Middle East. First, I was shocked and saddened by the kidnapping, search for and finally the discovery of the murder of three young teenagers in Israel. I had no words and avoided speaking about it on my blog. Then, words failed me again as I was disgusted to hear of the murder of a Palestinian teen in an apparent act of retribution. I feared an escalation of acts of retributions. Two wrongs never make a right, they simply lead to more and more wrongs. Those of you who follow my blog know that I am essentially a pacifist doing what ever I can to advocate for a more peaceful world with sensible gun control. When I hear of senseless murder of children, even I have trouble finding the right words.

Today, I noticed an article that gave me a sense of hope in the midst of the terrible most recent tragedies that have happened in the Middle East. Instead of retribution, it was the story of Palestinians and Jewish mourners consoling one another. Can tragedy motivate people to find ways to reach peace?

Memorial Day Monday: What You Can Do If You Are Angry About the War Raging in Our Streets?

Thought for the Day: This Memorial Day weekend, I am angry and I need your help. Those of you following my blog know that I have been voicing my concerns and offering suggestions of ways to help prevent the senseless loss of life from gun violence in our country. In January of 2013, after the Sandy Hook Tragedy, I wrote a letter to President Obama outlining my concerns along with creative ways to implement educational and psychological programs nationwide. Sadly, the violence has continued since then. This Memorial Day weekend began with yet another attack at the University of California in Santa Barbara. I watched in horror and sadness as the details of senseless loss of life unfolded. Unfortunately, we are living with not only a war waged by terrorists against our nation, but we are also under attack from within by angry, hurt, young adults who feel marginalized and mistreated by society.

I was also saddened to learn that my grandmother's nephew,  Herb Crane, a World War II veteran, passed away at the age of 95 two days ago. He lived a full active life. He even drove to the gym daily while in hospice care. (The article was written and aired before he passed away.) I want everyone in our nation to have the opportunity to live their lives, like Herb, to the fullest without fear of violent attacks in schools, colleges, shopping malls or movie theaters. I need your help. If you are angry, like me, and want to be part of the solution, read on on to see how you can take action...

Words of Wisdom: Parenting Teens in a World Filled with Violence

Thought for the Day: I'm still catching up and posting late in the day, but taking time off always puts things a bit off schedule. Today's quote arose from a session with a client about their 16 year old daughter. My client and his wife were having a difference of opinion on whether to allow their daughter to take walks to town and back in the early evening by herself. My client feels they live in a safe community with a few stores, coffee shops, a library and a small movie theater less than a mile from their home. He could not understand why his wife was worried. I played devil's advocate and asked my client what he thought his wife's fears might be.

Monday's Special Edition: When Not Guilty Does Not Mean Innocent: A Nation Struggles With the Zimmerman Acquittal

Thought for the Day: I could not simply write a Motivational Monday post today as if the George Zimmerman acquittal had not happened. I must admit I thought about it & delayed writing till after 10 AM today. However, I felt compelled to share some thoughts on the trial from a psychological & personal perspective. Many people across the United States are struggling with mixed feelings about the decision in Florida that George Zimmerman was found to be not guilty of murder or manslaughter. The jury decided that they could not determine beyond a reasonable doubt that Zimmerman was not acting in self defense when he killed 17 year old, unarmed Trayvon Martin. Although the jury may have had no choice other than the not guilty decision, it simply feels wrong. It makes me fearful this decision will reinforce the vigilante-like actions & racially profiling tendencies which appear to have motivated Zimmerman to go after Trayvon in the first place. Even if Zimmerman feared for his life at the second before he pulled the trigger, as a society are we reinforcing behaviors that increase the chance for violence, prejudice & injustice? What do you think? How can the system be improved? Did it work properly or is it flawed?

There have been protests around the nation calling for action by the Federal Government''s Department of Justice to try Zimmerman for Civil Rights violations. The government has reopened their investigation in light of the protests. Our president, Barack Obama, acknowledged the strong feelings this case has evoked, "but we are a nation of laws, and a jury has spoken. I now ask every American to respect the call for calm reflection from two parents who lost their young son." 

Both my parents were lawyers who taught me to respect laws & the legal system on which our nation was founded. They were also political activists, who ingrained in me a responsible citizen's obligation to do whatever I could, legally, to change a law if I felt it was unjust. Lawyers tend to see things in black & white. Psychologists, on the other hand, see all the shades of grey, in addition to the rest of the colors of the rainbow. In complicated situations like this one, the restraint of accepting the verdict as the law of the land, helps me. However, it does not stop me or any citizen in this great nation from speaking out to reform laws & procedures which may lead to unjust policies.

I believe that we all must acknowledge, reflect & speak up about our feelings. If we feel things are wrong, we can protest & search for creative ways to change the current reality in our society. Over the weekend I received an e-mail from Sharon Watts, founder of Moms Demand Action Against Gun Violence. She wrote: 

"Today, we are all Trayvon Martin’s mother. Trayvon, a 17-year- old victim of gun violence, was sadly one of the children and teens shot and killed every 3 hours and 15 minutes in America. Gun violence is a public health crisis of epidemic proportions in our country and, unchecked by Congress and many state legislatures, continues to spiral out of control. The lack of regulation of guns in America is a grave danger to all of our children....It is time for the 80 million mothers of America to stand our ground and demand new, common-sense gun laws and policies that will protect our children and honor the tragic shooting deaths of youths like Trayvon Martin. Collectively, we can use our votes and our voices to change policies and laws that will help keep American children out of the line of fire."
One way to do something about how you are feeling about the verdict is to Join Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense In America TODAY. 

There are other things which you can do in response to the feelings this case has conjured up. If you feel that racial profiling played a part in this tragedy, get involved in programs that teach tolerance of differences & work to eliminate prejudice. I have written in the past about programs & organizations that are working towards this goal (see recent series of posts on bullying: Part I,  Part II,  Part III, &  Part IV). Get involved & advocate for their inclusion in our schools & communities. 

I would love to hear your thought about the decision & any ideas you have for reform of the legal system, jury selection you may have.

Photo of Trayvon Martin from Moms Demand Action