Friday's Fabulous Finds: Downside of Being a Good Dad, Diet Myths, 60's Protest Photos, & Sleep Habits of History's Great Minds

Click to go to the Flipboard  Magazine

Thought for the Day: Today's Fabulous Finds are a mixed bag which includes a long, but interesting commentary on the downsides of being a good father from Esquire Magazine. In addition there are some last minute printable Father's Day Gifts from Moms and Munchkins, Interesting 60's protest photographs from The Telegraph, some diet myths which may change your food choices from a blog called: Healthy Fat Burning Foods For You and the sleep habits of history's greatest minds. I hope you like this Flipboard magazine. Have a great weekend!

#FF 5 of #Top10 Friday's Fabulous Finds 2013

Thought for the Day: I have dedicated the month of January to three things: 1) celebrating the 2nd anniversary of writing the blog with over 81,000 page views in just 2 years, 2) a look back on the #Top10 posts from 2013 in the various categories covered by my blog, and 3) new beginnings with new posts and ideas to help you redesign your lives and start moving towards a future that include your dreams. #FF Friday's Fabulous was one of the new posts added to the blog in January 2013. It has been a popular series on the blog bringing a mix of informative research articles, videos and inspirational stories that I find over the course of the week. Here are 5 of your favorites Fabulous Finds which had the most page views last year. In two weeks I will share the #Top5 of 2013.

Saturday's Songs for the Soul: Brad Paisley Singing "He Didn't Have to Be"

Thought for Today:  Tomorrow is  Father's Day. Often we neglect the step-dads who filled in for their step-children day in, day out as the dad they didn't have to be. They are like the beautiful shining light in the above photo. Many children of divorce or who's fathers have passed away are afraid that it is disloyal to their "biological" fathers to give them any love, respect or gratitude. Often they don't seem to notice or appreciate that constant light they have received from their step-fathers until they are grown & have children of their own. I decided to make this e-card & play a song for them.

#FF Fri's Fab Finds: 3 Yr Old & Teen Heroes, Autism-Friendly Haircuts, Championing Disabilities, & A Medical Miracle

Thought for the Day: I don't know about you, but I am very glad today is Friday. It is amazing how much I rely on my computer to get things done. On Wednesday, my computer screen went blank. It had been acting up, but it's an older Mac & seems to keep on running despite it's quirkiness. This time I had a hunch that the charger had stopped working. Luckily, I had completed my Wednesdays Words of Wisdom on fatherhood before it died. I had a busy day with clients but during my only break, I was looking forward to getting some exercise. Tuesday night I arrived at my health club after work only to find that they were closed due to a power outage. I had been in New York City on Monday, so I was not a happy camper when I realized I had to go get my computer checked out instead. I won't go into the details, but last night after a trip to the library & some work on a borrowed computer,  I was finally able to get back onto my computer.

My new team of interns really saved the day! Yesterday I edited & posted a wonderful guest post by Claire Freeman looking at the Sandy Hook Elementary School Tragedy from a different perspective. Last night, I received an e-mail from another new intern, Steph Jacovino, who has been helping find great articles for Friday's Fabulous Finds. This was her second week helping out & she aced the task! All but one of the finds are thanks to her work. I had a couple more, but will post them next week. You will be hearing more about my Dream Team of interns soon! I am so fortunate to have them helping me. Here are this week's finds:

Jameson Kessler, 3-Year-Old Indiana Boy, Donates Bone Marrow to Sister Samantha, 1, To Save Her Life The Huffington Post By Ron Dicker A 3 year old boy from Indiana volunteered to donate bone marrow to save his 1-year-old sister’s life. This boy, who calls himself, “Marrow Man,” says he is “going to make her feel better, & then I’m going to save her when she’s in trouble.” This young boy is a true superhero. (Video & text)

Nicole Kelly Facebook

Nicole Kelly, Born with One Arm, Wins Miss Iowa By Eliza Murphy ABC News Nicole Kelly is certainly an inspiration. She was crowed the 72nd titleholder of Miss Iowa, & she did it all with only one arm. This January, she will compete for the title of Miss America. To learn more about her click on the title of this find. (text)

Teenager’s Inspiring Father’s Day Billboard by KTLA 5 News Team This is not your average Father’s Day story. Kiana Deane, 16, designed a Los Angeles billboard asking fathers to “step up” this Father’s Day. Kiana, who grew up in foster care, asks all fathers to be a parent, especially to young daughters. (Video)

Snip-Its tries to make haircuts easier for children with autism By Mari-Jane Williams A new salon in Washington has opened, which allows children with autism to get quick, professional hair-cuts without the sensory overload that a normal hair salon can bring. (Text)

How One Dad Inspires Teenagers to Make 33,000 Burritos for the Homeless By Deborah Grau | The Upbeat  What started off as a lesson in humility became a life-changing charity. When two parents asked their children to feed the homeless one morning, they never knew it would turn into a non-profit organization, feeding over thirty thousand hungry stomachs. (Video & Text)

Toddler Hears dad's Voice for the First Time By Staff at Charlotte News Watch a video of a toddler who thanks to a new medical procedure hears his father's voice for the 1st time. (video)

Have a wonderful weekend!

Wednesday's Words of Wisdom: On Fatherhood

Thought for the Day: I decided to do more for fathers this week & made this short video clip using photos I found for Sunday's photo montage & quotes on fatherhood. I wanted to give the photos better exposure! Do you have any favorite quotes about fatherhood? Please share them. They may show up in another post. Have a great day!

Father's Day Sunday: Photo Montage, Freud on Fatherhood & a Funny Video

*Photos from Creative commons

Thought for the Day: For Father's Day, I found some wonderful photos of fathers with their children & a quote from Sigmund Freud. Last year I posted a question for all my readers & gave my answer. The question was, "What is or was your most special moment you had with your dad?

Which photo from the above montage do you like the best? It's hard for me to choose, but I love the one in the center. Was Freud right? Is a father's protection the strongest need a child has? Are there other needs, like encouragement to explore the world? For all the fathers, have a Happy Father's Day!

I was ready to post this & found a pretty funny Father's Day mashup video on Huffington Post called Dad Fails, so I decided to share it with you. Call it the Sunday Comic Strip part of the post.

*Photos 
Surfing lesson photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikebaird/3072645479/">mikebaird</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>

Dad Swinging Girl in the Air in the air photo by D Sharon Pruitt photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/4245177890/">© 2006-2013 Pink Sherbet Photography</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>

Father Tossing daughter in the air D Sharon Pruitt  photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/5008309977/">© 2006-2013 Pink Sherbet Photography</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>

Newborn Baby in Father's hands photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/rumpleteaser/4070989635/">rumpleteaser</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>

Father & son batting practice photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikebaird/3340274448/">mikebaird</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>

On Dad's shoulder photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikebaird/4449204633/">mikebaird</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>

Father's Day Part II: When a Father Is Missing, What Can You Do for Your Children?

Bill & Larry

Mike

Thought for the day: Around 17.8 million children, about 23% of children in the United States, are growing up in homes with no father in their home (U.S. Census Bureau, Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support: 2005, P60-234, August 2007 http://www.census.gov/prod/2007pubs/p60-234.pdf) Among black families 48% are living in single parent homes (5/6th are living with their mothers as the custodial parent). As Father's Day approaches, I am thinking about what mothers in single parent families can do to help fill the void when fathers are not in the picture or are barely present for their children. As a psychologist, I have my ideas & will share them, but would love to hear from single moms raising their children & from fathers who do not have custody & want to be involved & are finding creative ways to stay connected to their children.

     As I said in my previous post, Father's Day Part I: What Is or Was the Most Special Moment You Had With Your Dad?, my father took us out on Sundays & vacationed with us after the divorce. Most of the week, we had little or no contact with him. Many divorced couples today have more equal custody & visitation arrangements then we had back then. There are cell phones, skype & IMs which can lead to regular contact with children if noncustodial parents make the effort to stay in touch with their children. I would encourage all parents to build routines so that you speak with your children as often as possible, even if you cannot see them every day. My biggest concern however is for children who's fathers are absent & have disappeared from their children's lives altogether. In my practice, I have seen too many children & adults plagued by feeling abandoned & unloved when this has happened. (The impact of this is beyond the scope of this post, but I will address it at a later time.)
     I have three children to thank for filling the void left by my father's absence from my home. They were my brothers. I have spoken about one of my brothers, Larry Bogdanow, in an earlier post. Father's Day without him is sad for me. Even though he was not my father, throughout his life I knew he would be there for me & my children like a father & I miss him. My oldest brother, Bill, died many years ago & the wounds have healed, but he too is missed on Father's Day.
     When we were kids, my two older brothers looked out for me. Bill, the eldest in the family, was more authoritarian & at times I would rebel against his fervor for trying to keep his little sister safe. We were all friends in high school & went to conventions of the youth group, Young Judaea, together. If I went for a walk with a new guy & my brothers were worried, Bill would organize a search party. I was embarrassed & felt I could take care of myself, but also felt loved. Larry, on the other hand, who was closer to my age, fathered me more gently. Larry was more like a good friend who would mentor & encourage me to do the right things, if he was worried about me. I always knew I could come to him with a problem, even as an adult. Larry grew to become an gentle, kind, loving father to his daughter.
     You may be wondering why I included my youngest brother, Mike, as a father figure for me. I was 6 years old when he was born & I became his "little mother." Mike grew into the father figure role in my family, after my oldest brother died. He is not only an amazing father of three wonderful children, he has been a paternal figure for his nieces & nephew as well. Even though Mike never lived with our father, he learned well from my older brothers & later in life from his father-in-law, Irwin Freedberg, whom I write about in my book as an example of a "dream parent" to emulate.
     I am not telling you about my brothers to sing their praises, which I could, but to let you know that siblings, even children who grew up without a father in their home, can help fill the void left by an absent parent. Uncles & aunts & even non-family members can help. When my older brothers were being bullied at school, my mother hired someone to take them fishing & to sports events. She also enrolled my brothers in Judo to learn self defense. (See my earlier post on Grace JiuJitsu.) Today the Big Brother Big Sister Organization can help by providing mentors at no cost as well.  There were other mentors in our youth group & teachers who helped all of us along the way.
     Who are the father figures who helped you, if your father was not present? How did they support you? If you are a single parent, who has helped you fill the void for an absent father? If you are parenting at a distance, what helps you stay in touch? Happy Father's Day!