Motivational Monday: Is The Key To Happiness Hiding In Your Closet

Is The Key To Happiness Hiding In Your Closet?

Thought for the Day: I never cease to be in awe of the creative process. Inspiration often comes in strange ways. Today's post proves that even mundane chores or tasks we dislike can be inspiring. I've always struggled with trying to keep my closets in order. Every few months, I get frustrated when things get disorganized and I try to rearrange things. The order lasts for a while but the disarray inevitably returns. In drawers, I can't see what I have, so when I pull things out my order becomes a mess. On shelves things never seem to fit properly. Eventually, what were neat piles start falling down. 

     Therefore, about a week ago when I saw a teaser on Facebook that said, "A video on how to organize your closets will change your life," I was intrigued and clicked to view it. This is not a post about how to organize your closets, but the 3 minute clip taught the viewer to fold clothes so that you could store them tightly stacked them so you can see every item, even in drawers. I watched and decided to try the technique.

       Now, not only can I now see all the clothes I have, I was able to consolidate things and have more room in my closets. You may be wondering, "What does cleaning and organizing a closet have to do with psychology, inspiration, motivation or happiness?" Read on and you see that the key to happiness may have be hiding in your closet. 

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: New Toys That Can Help Solve Some of Society's Problems

Thought for the Day: I have been neglecting my blog and decided to start posting again. Life has been busy, but I will try to make time for writing. Play is undervalued in our fast paced competitive society. Child psychologists are acutely aware of the importance of play both as a diagnostic and therapeutic tool with children. Throughout life, play is an important means of reducing stress. As I see it, today's finds may play a significant role in solving some of society's serious problems. Their impact will take time, but what children play with and how they play with one another can influence what kind of adults they become. 
       Perhaps we need some robots to solve our political problems like the one above that can put the rubic's cube together in seconds. If some of our politicians (without naming names) had played with the new lego toy, they might be less critical of differences. Do you have any suggestions of toys that might help reduce prejudice and open conversations about disabilities? Feel free to offer your ideas.

        I am personally glad to see the new Barbie dolls. Growing up, I was adamant to be called "Barbara," not Barbie. The Barbie doll image embarrassed me even as a child. Maybe they should give the dolls a few different names as well. Will these new dolls help reduce the numbers of girls worried about how they look? Or the number of women unhappy with their appearance? 

       The practical simple suggestions by a parent who is also a teacher may be helpful to you as well in disciplining your children at home. 

       Finally, as the snow from the last storm is melting, snow art with kids seems like a great way to think positively! Do you have any positive games or art projects that have helped you parent your children? I'd love it if you would share them here (photos welcome, too).

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds:

Lego brings us the 1st figure in a wheelchair This is a great way to help children learn about disabilities and open conversations with them about how they can help one another. 

Barbie's got a new body. Hope this will help girl's develop more positive self esteem,  & reduce diagnoses of body dysmorphic disorders, anorexia and bulimia in our society: 

Here's an article with some helpful ways to discipline your children. 6 Tips from a teacher on how to disciplining children:

A creative way to think positively during snow storms from Oasis Advanced Wellness: 

Here's a list of ways to help your kids get published:

http://imaginationsoup.net/2016/01/12/writing-contests-kids-ways-get-published/

Thursday's Psychology Tip: Stressed? Try Coloring

Thought for the Day: The last couple of months have been extremely stressful for many people. Thanks to Mother Nature, snow storms have battered the northeastern states of the United States in rapid succession. Record inches of snow have left it's residents house bound, stir crazy, and exhausted from shoveling snow from driveways and roofs. The beginning of more spring-like weather, may help, although the forecast for this weekend is for yet one more slushy snow storm followed by a cold snap. Today's Psychology Tip may help those of you suffering from yet another snowbound Friday! It may surprise you, but pull out the crayons and start drawing!
     Researchers have found that coloring can help reduce stress. When drawing, we activate both sides of the brain, stimulating both logic, creativity and pleasure, reminding us of positive aspects of childhood. Different colors help us express different emotions, which is another reason that drawing can be therapeutic and help eliminate stress. The repetitive motion and focusing on coloring also appear to produce a form of active meditation. Currently, there are many books coloring books created for adults. For an array of  "Anti-stress gallery" of coloring books for adults take a look here.
     If want a free sample mandala to try to color for relaxation, you can click here (http://www.colormandala.com/) and download an art project from a number of wonderful designs and see for yourself how it helps this weekend. Use crayons, not markers which will seep through the paper. Let your creativity flow. If worries enter your mind, simply tell yourself to let them go and keep on coloring. You can add some relaxing music to enhance the relaxation as well. I'd love to hear how it works for you.

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: #TFF2014, Blind Pole Vaulter, Lego Building Career, NYC World Fair Photos

Thought for the Day: I have some wonderful finds for you today from Flipboard. I am still haven't figured out how to add something from outside flibboard, but want to mention that the Tribeca Film Festival #TFF2014 is ending this Sunday. If you are in NYC this weekend, it is well worth catching some great films. Even waiting in the rush lines for tickets is a fun and interesting experience. You can meet people from around the world, including aspiring actors and film makers. If you come early, you can get into the screenings. This week I saw "Art and Craft." It is a surprisingly funny, albeit touchingly sad and insightful documentary. The film exposes the life of an emotionally disturbed exceptionally talented artist. who donates his forged replicas of classic art to museums around the United States. I spoke briefly (and exchanged e-mails to continue the conversation) with the filmmaker, MARK BECKER,  who edited this film. It raised multiple questions for me as a psychologist about developing more creative treatment options for the mentally ill in our nation. I also saw "Below Dreams," a portrait of three twenty-something transplants to New Orleans in their search for their dreams. It is a cross between a documentary and narrative looking at the challenges three young people face in today's world.

My flipboard picks this week include a long, but well worth the read, cover story about a teenage blind pole vaulter. As those of you who have been following my blog know, I have been working for several years with the Blind Judo Foundation, which is featured in my book,  since they encourage blind athletes to reach for and accomplish their dreams by pursuing the sport of Judo. This young woman's dreams are literally taking her to new heights. If your dream is to build with legos for a living there's an article on how to be paid to play. (At the Tribeca Film Festival there is film about Legos, too, "Beyond the Brick: A Lego Brickumentary.") Other posts include photos from NYC's World's Fair which was held 50 years ago, some very creative lunch boxes, and packaging that sells itself. I hope you like my picks.

Sunday's Comic Strips: Parenting Demands Creative Solutions

Photo from HistoricalLOLs.com

Thought for the Day: Today's Comic Strips focus on the importance of creative parenting solutions. Don't try either of these solutions at home, unless you are a photoshop or videography whizz, however, as a psychologist, I believe keeping a sense of humor while parenting should be a prerequisite for Parenting 101.
     Above is a photo that reminds me of an experience I had many years ago while living in Israel. American friend's were visiting and asked that we watch their two young daughters. As a new immigrant, I was fortunate to have a been able to purchase a washing machine without 300% taxation on the appliance (at the time not many people owned machines) in my 5th floor walk up apartment, but did not have the luxury of owning a clothes dryer. I was on the back porch when:

Sarit: "What are you doing?" 

Me: "Hanging clothes." 

Sarit: "Why are you doing that?

Friday's Fabulous Finds: Saving Mr. Banks: The Therapeutic Value of Creative Writing

Thought for the Day: Somehow life around the holidays gets a bit hectic and I did not have time to post yesterday. Today, is also going to be a busy day, but I want to post at least one find for the week. 

     I went to see the Disney movie, Saving Mr. Banks, with Tom Hanks as Walt Disney and Emma Thompson as PL Travers. I had not heard much about the movie, but knew it was about the classic film Mary Poppins. I expected a children's movie; however, I would not recommend it for young children. If you do not mind seeing a tear jerker and want an insightful look at the life story and psychology of the author of the Mary Poppins, it is well worth seeing. It clearly exemplifies the therapeutic value of creative writing. Great writers for adults or children must touch universal emotions in their stories to connect with readers. In order to do so, at times it touches unexpected memories and uncovers unfinished business from childhood. When this happens, the result is so personal that they may have difficulty sharing their stories with others. The movie depicts the painful process of adapting the author's personal story to the silver screen. Disney had the patience, perseverance and ability to recognize the importance of convincing the author to share her story with the world.

Flashback Motivational Monday: 4 Creative Ways to Solve Problems & Stay Motivated

Thought for the Day: Since I am visiting with friends from Canada today, I decided to repost this Motivational Monday post from last March, when I started this blog series of motivational posts. Have a great start to the week.

Thought for the Day: My daughter sent me an image of an anonymous inspirational quote on facebook this week which said, "when nothing goes right... go left." She sends me quotes & images when she finds one that she thinks I might want to use in my blog or on my facebook page (where I post creative images & quotes). I loved the quote which came in simple black ink on white background (see photo on right). However,  I felt I needed to expand on it. The image above begins to give my take on how I help people explore all the options when nothing seems to be going right. I decided to use it to offer four tips to help you find alternatives when nothing seems to be going right. Feel free to ask questions about my new quote: "when nothing is going right to go left, up, down, around, under & anyway you can to make things work better. - Dr. Barbara Lavi"

Creativity plays an integral part in my therapeutic approach, which I call A.C.T. Now Psychotherapy. The "A" stands for "Active," the "C" for "Creative," & the "T," for "Time Sensitive." Even though it is one third of the equation, in many ways the "C" is the most important element in my approach.  Our society has an ambivalent relationship with creativity. On the one hand we love music, art & photography. The huge success of facebook & YouTube are evidence of the love affair we have with photos, videos & music. However, the number of starving artists eking out a living in odd jobs attests to the fact that we do not reward artists well unless they become famous. How many people are discouraged from following their creative muse when they choose a career? In school certain types of creativity are not rewarded either. The emphasis on rote learning, multiple choice & true or false testing reflects this tendency.

It is not surprising, therefore, that many people lose touch with creative problem solving skills & do not have access to them when confronting problems in life. The original quote even fits the solution into one of two options: right or left. So here are a few creative problem solving tips:

1) There is not one right answer to problems we confront in life. In reality even the way the quote is set up reflects a mistaken notion we are taught to believe. It is an over simplification to think of life in terms of "right" or "wrong." There are endless "right" ways to live our lives. What may be right for one person may not be right for you or someone else. We must each find what feels right to us. There could be many different "right" ways to live for each of us. Every problem therefore,  has multiple possible solutions.

Often when we feel like everything is going wrong, it is a sign of some depression. Depression makes us even more likely to think that there are no possible alternatives. When we feel depressed we also tend to get stuck, become inactive & reclusive. Other times, we keep repeating behaviors that are not working. The first step to getting out of these viscous cycles is to use our creative minds to imagine several alternative possibilities. Try coming up with at least 3 or 4 different ways you might try to solve the problem.

2) As you begin to fantasize about these possibilities, fire your inner dream buster. Your dream buster is the critic inside your head that says, "You don't have the money, skills, connections, health (& endless other excuses) to accomplish that solution." Even if you doubt that you can accomplish these alternatives, ignore the critic's negative voice & write them down.

3) Pick one of these possible new directions & come up with 3 or 4 action steps to explore how you could start taking baby steps toward starting in the new direction.

4) Try a few of the action steps. For instance, if you are unhappy in your current job, but afraid to leave in today's difficult job market, You can go on monster.com & begin to search for jobs in your field to see what is out there. Or you could call someone you know who left your company & is now employed elsewhere to find out how they are doing & whether they are hiring. If an option feels right, keep pursuing it, if not, try another one of the other options till you find one that fits & works for you. Or go back to step one & try again till you find a new direction.

In subsequent posts, I'll tell you about some additional creative techniques that can help in situations like these. I will share stories of how my clients developed these kind of creative skills & moved in directions they did not imagine were possible before they started in therapy or read my book. I hope you will share your stories of ways you found new directions when you felt stuck in the past.

Have a great start to the week! I hope you will come back on Wednesday for What If? Wednesdays short video on what would happen if we changed things to improve the world. In case you missed it, there are now 2 weekend feeds: Saturdays Songs for the Soul & Sunday's Comic Strips. Coming soon new Tuesday & Thursday posts with some fun twists, so stay come back often, follow the blog, put it in an RSS feed or get e-mail notification when posts come out!

Sunday's Comics Strips: Clever No Parking Sign

Thought for the Day: On Sundays, I try to take it easy & bring back a bit of the joy I had growing up reading the Sunday comics. I have not searched for funny photos for a while & did so this morning. Here's my pick for today. It's always refreshing when a business finds a creative way to advertise their business. If you have come across any clever signs, I'd love to see them & would be happy to post them in this Sunday Comics series. Have a great end of the weekend!

Sunday's Comic Strips: Charlie Brown's Take On "One Day At A Time"

*Photo credit

Thought for the Day: I doubt that Alcoholics Anonymous developed the concept of "One Day at a Time" with Charlie Brown's philosophy in mind, but I like the way it makes fun of the human tendency to worry & takes it to a different level. As a psychologist, I help people confront their anxiety & worries every day. I usually advise people to skip the worry & dread & focus on constructive problem solving tasks to address their concerns. This week, in my private practice,  I helped some of my highly creative clients understand & handle their anxiety. Some creatives obsess about all the possible negative outcomes to interpret & predict the events in their lives. This type of creative process is a double edged sword. On the one hand, it can lead to amazing ideas for creative writing. However, it can also lead to isolation, increased anxiety & excessive worry when taken too literally. Other creative clients who look at life through a comic lens are able to find a way to exaggerate & laugh at all the their situations. Instead of worrying about all the negative possibilities, laughter makes their worries smaller & more manageable. Charles Schultz was a master at making fun of our human insecurities.  His legacy continues to help us laugh at ourselves. Have a great Sunday!


*Photo from
http-/www.signs-unique.co.uk/ive-developed-a-new-philosophy-charlie-brown-funny-aluminium-sign-ga-8846-p.asp   Charles Schulz

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: Action, Heroes, Creativity, Dreams & Your Health

Thought for the Day: TGIF and it's time for Friday's Fabulous Finds. This week, I have 4 great finds. The first is a set of simple tasks you can do every day this week to help push congress to make sensible changes in gun laws & honor the memory of Ana Márquez-Greene, Sandy Hook Elementary Victim Who Would Have Turned 7 Years Old on April 4. The second is honoring Daryl & Phyliss Sudman founders of Simon's Fund, one of the NPO's featured in & benefiting from my book, The Wake Up and Dream Challenge. The Sudman's were chosen by People Magazine as Heroes Among Us. The next find is a delightful 2 minute video clip on how creativity works. The fourth find is an article about what your dreams can tell you about your physical health.

Hope you enjoy these finds & come back over the weekend for Saturday's Songs for the Soul & Sunday's Comic Strips.

1) Moms Demand Action Week 

MOMS DEMAND ACTION FOR GUN SENSE IN AMERICA TO SPONSOR “MOMS

DEMAND ACTION WEEK” TO PRESSURE CONGRESS TO PASS STRONGER

GUN LAWS

Week Dedicated to Ana Márquez-Greene, Sandy Hook Elementary Victim Who Would

Have Turned 7 Years Old on April 4; American Moms to Reach Out to Congress Every Day Week of April 1. Easy tasks any busy mom can do every day this week to help put pressure on Congress.

The Sudman Family 2004

2) People Magazine chose Darren and Phyllis Sudman & Simon's Fund as Heroes Among Us Darren and Phyllis Sudman Save Children's Lives with Heart Screenings By Sandra Sobieraj Westfall Click here to learn about how the Sudman family turned their loss into a way to save children's lives.

3) Creativity video Here's a 2 minute video that shows why creativity takes time.

 

4) 6 Things Your Dreams Can Tell You About Your Health

This article shows ways that your dreams may help you discover things about your physical health.

Saturday's Songs for the Soul: Beth Nielsen Chapman Songs, Creativity & Therapy

Thought for the Day: I hinted yesterday in #FF Friday's Fabulous Finds that I had a treat in store for you on Saturday's Songs for the Soul. I have had the honor of getting to know Beth Nielsen Chapman when she taught at one of the songwriting retreats I organized a about ten years ago. Since then our paths have crossed several times & I consider it a gift to know her personally. On Beth's website they note that in addition to writing hits for other artists, "Beth Nielsen Chapman, Nashville based singer-songwriter,... breast cancer survivor, environmental activist, teacher of workshops & lecturer on the magic of creativity, which she believes is a birthright of everyone." Beth writes straight from her heart & soul.  Her songs usually come to her as melodies to which she adds nonsense syllables. Even though she has no idea what the song will be about, miraculously, the words, when the song is completed, usually match the vowel sounds of the original nonsense syllables. Many of her songs were written when challenged by illness & loss as her own therapy. Her inner strength & spirituality have inspired countless others as they confront life's challenges.

      Her songs have been covered by many top artists in multiple genres including Bonnie Raitt, Emmylou Harris, Bette Midler, Elton John, Neil Diamond, Trisha Yearwood, Martina McBride, The Indigo Girls, Michael McDonald, Amy Grant, Keb Mo’, Roberta Flack, Waylon Jennings, Faith Hill, Willie Nelson, & many more. 

         I chose three of Beth's songs for your Saturday listening enjoyment & inspiration:

 

Sand & Water was written following the death of her husband from cancer when her son (who is now grown) was only 12 years old. Elton John covers this song in concerts in honor of Princess Diana. It captures the essence of grief from a time when Beth reports that she thought she would never sing again. It was such a personal song that it was hard for her to make minor changes so that a man could sing it. (This version is live with Kieran Goss)

Happy Girl, which became a Country hit for by Martina Mc Bride, represents coming out of the dark of mourning & back to life.

The melody from Every December Sky came to Beth before she even knew she was diagnosed with Cancer. She speaks about this melody as a gift from a higher power (like many of her songs) that strengthened her & helped her through the process of treatment & recovery.

I encourage you to listen to these & other inspiring songs (there are great love songs, This Kiss, a touching visit with an ailing friend in the hospital, Emily, & a song about a woman with Alzheimers, Child Again)  by Beth. I hope you will come back for Sunday's Comic Strips & Motivational Monday's posts. Next week I will be participating in some exciting events at Capital Hill when I join a nonpartisan group, Moms Demand Action. I will be one of 250 Moms (and dads) from across the USA that will Take the Hill. I will be blogging from Washington DC. So I look forward to sharing some great experiences with you. Have a great weekend!

Motivational Monday: When Nothing Goes Right...4 Creative Ways to Solve Problems

Thought for the Day:  I had a very busy day and decided to repost this Motivational Monday post from last March 2013, when I started this blog series of motivational posts. Have a great start to the week. I have sad news to tell you. Yesterday, 6 and 1/2 year old Katy Sullivan, the rockstar heart transplant recipient passed away. She had a year and a half with her new heart and was able to return to dance lessons and lead a normal life for some of the time, but a couple of months ago started a downhill slide. There are 3 posts about Katy: How to Heal Broken Hearts,  Better Than the Oscars, Let It Go from Songs for the Soul.

Thought for the Day: My daughter sent me an image of an anonymous inspirational quote on facebook this week which said, "when nothing goes right... go left." She sends me quotes & images when she finds one that she thinks I might want to use in my blog or on my facebook page (where I post creative images & quotes). I loved the quote which came in simple black ink on white background (see photo on right). However,  I felt I needed to expand on it. The image above begins to give my take on how I help people explore all the options when nothing seems to be going right. I decided to use it to offer four tips to help you find alternatives when nothing seems to be going right. Feel free to ask questions about my new quote: "when nothing is going right to go left, up, down, around, under & anyway you can to make things work better. - Dr. Barbara Lavi"