Wednesday's Words of Wisdom: Moms Demand Action & Mahatma Ghandi

Thought for the Day: Today I copied an image and a quote from Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America. Those of you who have been following my blog know that I have been advocating for stricter gun control laws since the Sandy Hook Tragedy. I have lobbied with Moms Demand Action in DC and am impressed with their tireless efforts. They make political activism easy with twitter and facebook campaigns. I love the quote they used with their Valentine's Day campaign:

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from indomitable will."        Mahatma Ghandi

When we see things in society that we want to change we must find our inner strength to persevere and stand up for what we believe. Often when tragedies occur, we feel helpless, taking action and joining forces with like minded people, can help us feel empowered. Valentine's Day is a day dedicated to love. Too many lives of innocent children and loved ones are being stolen from us due to lack of sensible background checks for those who wish to purchase guns or to gun owners' carelessness . Too many children are dying when they have access to unsecured guns, leading to accidental shootings by children.

The image above came with a call for action for Valentine's Day. I hope you will tweet, post, and share it and follow the  call to action. Just click on the bit.ly link below & tweet to your senators and congressmen. It will only take a couple of minutes, but it could save lives.

MOM'S Demand Action's VALENTINE'S DAY CALL TO ACTION: Despite the 43 school shootings since Newtown, Congress continues to turn a blind eye to America's gun violence epidemic. Use our Fast-Tweet link to tell Congress our hearts are broken, but our will is strong. And while you’re at it, Tweet them a pic of your Valentine with the hashtags#MomsBrokenHearts and #MomsDemandhttp://bit.ly/MCuDcd - LIKE and SHARE this post!

Miraculous Motivational Mondays: Part II: 2013 Top 5 Posts Readers' Choice

Thought for the Day:  Two weeks ago, I posted Part I: 5 of the Top 10 Most Viewed Miraculous Motivational Monday's posts from this blog. I am also celebrating the 2nd anniversary of this blog this month. Two weeks ago there were close to 80,000 page views. Today we have close to 83,000 page views! Thank you all for reading & sharing my posts. I feel honored that you find them helpful. I always look forward to your comments & thoughts. Today, is also a day to honor Martin Luther King, Jr.. For the last two years I posted in his honor with a post called: Would Martin Luther King, Jr. Us Social Media & What Advice Would He Give to Barack Obama?

I promised to share the Top 5 Miraculous Motivational of 2013 today, so here they are. #4, which I wrote following my knee operation, is the only one that I did not make a photo for all year. The subjects span #gunsense, physical therapy, hope for New Orleans and Newtown, and the top post shares the story of Katy, a brave young heart transplant recipient.  Have a wonderful week!

#5 #Gun-sense Send Your Message to Congress
3/11/2013








#4 Taking a Break: Aging Gracefully Vs. Kicking & Dancing
10/21/2013






#3 Thank Heaven for Physical Therapy
11/11/2013

#2 Bringing Hope to America, New Orleans & Newtown
2/4/2013

#1 Better Than the Oscars Breaking News: Katy's Coming Home 2/25/2013

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: Senator Taking Aim at Medicare Injustice, Harvey Weinstein Aiming at the NRA, & Dr Lavi Focusing on Sports Psyche 101

Thought for the Day: This is my second post of the day, since I was too busy yesterday, I posted Thursday's Triivia Question this morning which was True or False: Children Raised By Single Moms Tend to Be Emotionally Handicapped for Life. All single moms should take a look and share it with friends and family. Here are my #FF Fabulous Finds for the week which include legislation aimed at helping protect elder citizens from being hit by hidden health care costs, A radio show I will be participating in tomorrow on Sports Psyche 101 you can tune in live on ResultsWillVary.com at 12 Noon EST, and a new movie by Harvey Weinstein aimed at the NRA.

                                                                              The 1st Find this week is a press release from Menorah Park Center for Senior Living in Beechwood OH They had a meeting with Senator Sherrod Brown about legislation to help senior citizens. The conference was called to bring to light the Medicare policy that is causing seniors to be unknowingly hit with large, unfair medical costs after receiving medical care. Under the current law, when seniors ar held for observation in hospitals for days without being admitted, the services are not covered by medicare. Medicare only covrs hospital admissions after 3 days...







I will be speaking on Sports Psych 101 radio program tomorrow 1/18/2014 at 12 noon EST. The topic will be incorporating your fitness goals with your other life dreams this year, to make sure you keep on target all year. This is sponsored by +Res V Results Will Vary on Google+. Tune in LIVE on ResultsWillVary.com

                   *Photo from

Those of you following my blog know that I have been actively supporting +MomsDemandAction, advocating for #Gunsense and more psychological services to help reduce gun violence in our nation. Yesterday, I learned that Harvey Weinstein to Take Aim at NRA in New Movie. I applaud Weinstein, a Westport resident and accomplished movie producer for taking a stand on this important issue. 

*Photo from Wikipedia  Author = David Shankbone 

Sunday Comics: What the World Needs Now! Photos, A Road Sign & Charlie Brown

Thought for the Day: For today's Sunday's comics, I am reposting two great finds on two of my social media feeds. The 1st is a photo of a sign which I found on a tumbler feed by 365SelfImprovement.  The 2nd came up on my Debbie Smith on my Facebook feed, a great Peanuts comic strip with Charlie Brown's very sensible suggestion. #MomsDemandAction made some progress in the great state of Texas, where I grew up, where gun shows will now require background checks for those who purchase guns. They are finally realizing that it is just common sense to weed out criminals or mentally ill from purchasing guns. It speaks for itself and deserves sharing with anyone who would like to see #Gunsense in our nation & our world. Please pass it on & lets get a more than a group hug going around the world, let's reduce gun violence.

Saturday's Songs for the Soul: In Honor of Newtown, Sarah McLauchlan's "Angel"

Thought for the Day: This is the 1st anniversary of the Newtown Tragedy, as the town tries to commemorate without an influx of media and the nation will take a moment of silence at 9:30 AM. I am saddened that Congress has failed to take action to make significant changes in gun control, mental health and protection of our children. I will continue to work for gunsense (Why Shrinks Need to Protect Children,  #Gunsence: Send Your Message to Congress). Sadly, yesterday another shooting occurred in a school in Colorado. In honor of all those who died last year in Newtown and the senseless loss of lives daily due to gun violence in our country. I have chosen Sarah McLauchlan's "Angel."

Wednesdsy's Wake Up Moments: The Christopher Lane Murder: What Do You Do When You Are Discouraged?

Thought for the Day: Wednesdays posts are being focused on you, my readers & fans. I want to know your high & low "Wake Up" moments on the rod to your dreams. I have been opening the discussion by sharing some of my highs & lows over the last few Wednesdays. Those of you reading my posts know that the end of the summer has been jam packed, making it hard to keep up. We have a friend here helping us do some work on the house . We are taking advantage of the end of the summer to get projects done before the weather changes. It is both a high & a low, making it hard to keep up with the blog.

However, this morning after a power outage, when I began to catch up by reading the news,  my challenges were brought into perspective, triggering a very discouraging low for me. In shock and sadness, I read about the senseless murder of Christopher Lane in Oklahoma. Lane was a college student athlete. He came from Australia to the US to play baseball & be with his American girlfriend of four years. He gunned down while jogging by 3 teens who said they were, "bored" & decided to kill someone.

I have been writing about gun control & preventive mental health programs in our school since before the Newtown tragedy. I am discouraged & heartbroken. When will we wake up & work together in nonpartisan efforts to improve the laws? When will parents (and all citizens) demand stronger mental health programs that will help curb the increase of violence in our nation? I will not be deterred from speaking up, going to Washington, & encouraging everyone who reads my blog to search for creative solutions. I for one could use a "virtual hug" from you via comments & suggestions from anyone who is struggling with these issues & agrees that we must take action. Together solutions can be found to whatever challenges we face.

How about you? What do you do when you are discouraged? Do you need a "virtual hug?" Feel free to post your highs & lows get some support as you move towards the lives of your dreams.

*This photo provided by East Central University shows Christopher Lane, an Australian who was on a baseball scholarship at East Central University in Ada, Okla. Lane was in Duncan, Okla., visiting his girlfriend, when he was shot and killed Friday, Aug. 16, 2013. (AP Photo/East Central University Communications & Marketing, Gina Smith)

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: Action, Heroes, Creativity, Dreams & Your Health

Thought for the Day: TGIF and it's time for Friday's Fabulous Finds. This week, I have 4 great finds. The first is a set of simple tasks you can do every day this week to help push congress to make sensible changes in gun laws & honor the memory of Ana Márquez-Greene, Sandy Hook Elementary Victim Who Would Have Turned 7 Years Old on April 4. The second is honoring Daryl & Phyliss Sudman founders of Simon's Fund, one of the NPO's featured in & benefiting from my book, The Wake Up and Dream Challenge. The Sudman's were chosen by People Magazine as Heroes Among Us. The next find is a delightful 2 minute video clip on how creativity works. The fourth find is an article about what your dreams can tell you about your physical health.

Hope you enjoy these finds & come back over the weekend for Saturday's Songs for the Soul & Sunday's Comic Strips.

1) Moms Demand Action Week 

MOMS DEMAND ACTION FOR GUN SENSE IN AMERICA TO SPONSOR “MOMS

DEMAND ACTION WEEK” TO PRESSURE CONGRESS TO PASS STRONGER

GUN LAWS

Week Dedicated to Ana Márquez-Greene, Sandy Hook Elementary Victim Who Would

Have Turned 7 Years Old on April 4; American Moms to Reach Out to Congress Every Day Week of April 1. Easy tasks any busy mom can do every day this week to help put pressure on Congress.

The Sudman Family 2004

2) People Magazine chose Darren and Phyllis Sudman & Simon's Fund as Heroes Among Us Darren and Phyllis Sudman Save Children's Lives with Heart Screenings By Sandra Sobieraj Westfall Click here to learn about how the Sudman family turned their loss into a way to save children's lives.

3) Creativity video Here's a 2 minute video that shows why creativity takes time.

 

4) 6 Things Your Dreams Can Tell You About Your Health

This article shows ways that your dreams may help you discover things about your physical health.

Special Edition IV: If Our Nation Is Suffering from PTSD, Are Courage & Vulnerability Necessary to Heal?

Thought for the Day: It is taking all my energy to stay focused on relaying my impressions from my trip to Washington DC last week with Moms Demand Action. I am finding myself working double time to keep up with my responsibilities as a psychologist, tweet, post & respond to comments on my facebook page from some people who genuinely believe that more guns are the solution to the problem. However, I think that my experiences may help people understand why it is important to keep the lines of communication open to all sides of this important dilemma. I wanted to go to DC to express my concern that our nation is struggling with post traumatic stress & fears related to multiple traumas since 9/11 which include attacks like Sandy Hook. My observations from Washington combined with my training as a psychologist & specialist dealing with trauma are intertwining in this post as I grapple with ways to help mend the society from PTSD. Bear with me as I share the details from my trip & reach some conclusions that may shed some light on both the problem & some solutions. Winston Churchill a leader who helped the world through traumatic times as well may help with his thoughts on courage.

Last Wednesday morning, bright & early at 6:45 AM,  I joined the other participants of Moms Take the Hill. I checked out of the hotel, but left my belongings there for the day. We were instructed to travel light, since we would be going through security checks multiple times during the day. Food was not allowed through some of the checkpoints, so I had coffee & a light breakfast in the lobby before getting on the bus. I sat next to a 14 year old girl who had come with her mother & sister from Dallas TX. We talked about her fears when she heard about the tragedy in Newtown. I encouraged her to tell her elected officials how she felt & what she wanted to feel safe. I also commended her for spending part of her spring vacation to join this event. We all applauded when the Team of 26 organizer Monte Frank, Newtown resident & his teenage daughter joined us on the bus. They had arrived in DC the day before after biking from Newtown to DC in conjunction with today's event.

After going through two security checks, we were directed to the Eisenhower Executive Office Building next to the White House for a White House Policy Press briefing. We were greeted by Evan Ryan, Assistant to the Vice President fro Public Engagement, Sarah Bianchi, Director of Economic & Domestic Policy Office of the Vice President & Valerie Jarrett, Senior Adviser to the President among others. They let us know how important our support is even to those who support sensible changes to the gun laws in this country. They told us they had not seen a movement like this before & were hopeful that our support was going to get action quickly. However, they also let us know that the opponents are assuming that the "Newtown effect" will disappear. We learned that the gun lobby is very actively pressuring Congress. The senators & congressmen who are standing up for change are being inundated with threats & intimidation. Although over 90% of Americans want changes to our gun laws, the gun lobby, (despite the fact that many of their members do not support them on this issue) a very vocal well organized minority group, with huge financial resources is fighting relentlessly to block any changes in gun laws. Their efforts & intimidation are making it hard for our officials to vote where their common sense & conscience would lead them. The staffers proudly announced that the Violence Against Women Act passed last week after a year of efforts in congress. Lots of pictures were taken with strings of paper dolls with each string of 8 dolls representing the 8 children who are shot & killed every day in America.

After the briefing, we took shuttle buses to Capitol Hill & went through additional security checks before meeting with our senators & congressmen. There were 6 people in my group, 5 were from CT. Our leader who would be helping us to get from meeting to meeting in a timely fashion was from Virginia. We were scheduled to meet with both of our state senators & three congressmen. A last minute change made it possible to meet with both Senators Blumenthal & Courtney together (see photo on right). Since they & the congressmen from CT are supportive of gun sense, our job was to thank them for their efforts & find out what they need from us. In addition, we would be sharing our stories with them. We would get a chance to voice our concerns about the rise in gun violence & our suggestions. Our senators & congressmen were thoughtful, supportive & listened intently to what we had to say. They appreciated our being there & encouraged us to speak with friends & family across the country about these issues. They asked us to ask everyone we know, gun owners & non-gun owners, to speak up & let their senators & congressmen know that they want stricter gun controls.

Our meeting with Representative Jim Hines had an interesting twist. He shared the fact that he is a sportsman who enjoys hunting but he is also a father who knows the time has come for greater restrictions. He said he always tries to see the issue from both sides. Although he disagrees with the gun advocates, he believes that they are fearful & fighting for safety. By recognizing that they are coming from a place of fear he hopes to keep the dialogue open. He said he thought that gun trafficking laws, mandatory background checks & increased school safety would pass. However, he feared that the ban on semi-automatic weapons & high capacity munitions would not. After we left the meeting, we wondered if we should have been more adamant that the ban on semi-automatic weapons being crucial to any significant change to deter gun violence in America. In light of Harry Reid's announcement this week that he will not include the ban of semi-automatic weapons in the bill, it appears that Representative Hines was trying to warn us.

We were in for a treat on our way to the press conference. Our group was accompanied by a senate staffer through a second level of security & boarded the underground transit reserved for elected officials. It took us directly to the US Capitol Visitor Center. The highlight of the day. for me was standing behind the speakers for the hour long press conference. During Nancy Pelosi's speach, she turned around & read a button I was wearing which said: "Protect Children, Not Guns." After the press conference I was able to go up to her & shake her hand. I thanked her for all she was doing to help keep our children safe. The energy & dedication of these courageous women who spoke was inspiring. To stand directly behind Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Carolyn McCarthy, Elizabeth Esty & Shannon Watts was amazing. They made it clear that they will not falter & will continue the battle for sensible changes no matter how long it takes.

Our female congresswomen's courage to "mend & befriend" as opposed to "fight or flight" (see my Thursday's Psychological Trivia Answer) in the face of danger & confront our vulnerability (See today's FF Friday's Fabulous Finds #3) make it imperative that we have women, and men (Like Winston Churchill accept these parts of themselves), in Washington. These traits will help them stand up to the intense heat of the gun lobby.  Gun advocates response to feeling vulnerable is try to numb their feelings of vulnerability, to fight, assume that they have "the only answer" & close their minds to an array of possible solutions which may not be foolproof, but will help make things better.  Being able to accept vulnerability & imperfection are important steps towards creating a safer environment. To do their job & keep focusing on solutions to the problems, our leaders must see all the shades of grey. As I post here & on facebook, I have felt the angry relentless venom that fear & misinformation can ignite. I will continue to try to keep the dialogue open & hope that you will join me & those who want to make sensible changes to help bridge the gap. The barriers & multiple security checks at the White House & on Capitol Hill reflect the actions that our nation is forced to take in light of the rise in violence & fear since 9/11.  Dr. Brene Brown describes this as symptomatic of PTSD on a national level & suggests that we have a "scarcity culture" of fear & feelings of scarcity since 9/11. We must all work to mend from the impact traumatic violence is taking on our society. I believe women will lead the way in the healing process.

Special Edition Part III: Are WE Letting a Bully Hijack Our Democracy?

Thought for the Day: As I told you yesterday, I will be changing the format this week & special reports on my visit to Washington DC. Two things impacted on me & I will therefore combine them in this post. I won't be sharing pictures of my visit as I first intended. Events are happening so rapidly that my photos seem unimportant. The first thing that happened was a response to a post I made yesterday on facebook with a link to yesterday's special edition). I had an unsettling string of comments that I'd like to share. The comments  came from a young man, L.C., from Montana, who opened a discussion with me by saying: 

        "I'm pretty sure you ignorant if you think that you can't protect 2nd amendment rights and children at the same time."

         I ignored his questioning my intelligence & welcomed the opportunity to engage him in a discussion by responding that: " I have no problem with the 2nd amendment, just want to add sensible controls like universal background checks & a ban on semi-automatic assault weapons which are necessary for war, not for sport or on our streets. We register our cars so that we know who owns the car if it is involved in a fatal accident. Carrying a weapon requires responsibility & accountability by all owners." 

         L.C. wrote back:  "Look at my picture that we took for prom all of us holding weapons several semi auto almost non of them registered. Why? because its a way of life in Montana and in our nation. We are not criminals but God help anyone who comes after us." Then he added: "And I agree on the responsibility and accountability aspect."

          I responded that: "I am saddened to think that you feel the need to go to a prom holding a weapon. Accidents can happen, feelings can get hot & having a gun handy is not the best way to resolve problems at a dance. On Sat. a father shot his 10 month old son while handling a semi-automatic gun in a hotel room with his wife & 2 other children. It was an accident, that did not have to happen. I don't think that owning a gun makes someone a criminal, but there are people who should not be allowed to own a firearm & the increase in violence against innocent children & adults must be curtailed. What harm would it cause to have guns registered like cars or to have insurance like on cars to hold people accountable?"

          L.C. has not responded back to me yet, however, the discussion raises serious questions about what children & young adults are being taught about guns. Do we want our teenagers taking guns of any kind, registered or not, to a prom? Is it not bad enough that teens are drinking & driving after proms & ending up dying in car accidents? Mothers Against Drunk Driving has made a huge difference in the laws surrounding drinking & driving, but we must do the same with gun violence in our country.

            This interchange brings me back to my meetings & experiences in Washington DC. The young man who commented on my facebook page is just one example of a victim of misinformation being transmitted by our nation's worst bully. Ironically, I went to Washington as a psychologist seeing a direct connection between our schools' inability to contend with the rise in bullying among our children & the rise in violent attacks by students who have often been targets of bullying. As I listened to the advocates of gun sense, I began to see the parallel process that is occurring in Congress.

           The gun lobby which represents a small minority (3-4 million members which may be inflated by the organizers) (& over 70% of it's members support more gun control) (U.S. adult population is 237,744,633) is a bully using all it's financial resources to intimidate our elected officials to support the gun industry's vested financial interests. They use scare tactics & hide behind the 2nd amendment to make sure they can continue to produce & profit from the manufacture of weapons of war. They want to sell guns to whomever they can & do not care whose hands the guns end up in, which is why they do not want paper records of transactions. They have procured a ban on research that looks at the impact of gun violence on our society. They do not want anyone to know the psychological impact that gun violence has on our society's mental health. It would be bad for sales. 

          Our elected officials are afraid to vote according to their conscience because they are intimidated by these bullies. Polls show that over 90% of Americans support stricter gun control laws. As a psychologist, concerned about the impact of bullying & the difficulty children have to be more than a passive onlooker, I am concerned that we are guilty of supporting the bullies by not taking action & speaking up. Our senators & congressmen are being bullied (& fear they will lose financial contributions from the lobby) & we, by not speaking up, are making it harder for them to stand up to the powerful well oiled machine of the gun lobby. 

            Yesterday, I also learned that Senate Minority leader, Harry Reid, is refusing to bring the ban on semi-automatic weapons & ammo to a vote on the Senate floor with the other pieces of legislation that would help curb gun violence. In my mind, if we want to protect our children from the kind of weapons that turned an elementary school into an instantaneous killing field, limits on semi-automatic weapons & high powered multiple round munitions is key. Is the senate being bullied into cutting this out of the legislation? In Newtown, the 11 seconds that it took to reload the weapon saved 11 children's lives. The photo of the children killed in Newtown above reminds us that: "Remembering is Good. Taking Action is Better!" If you want changes & feel this is important, now is the time to stand up to the bullies in Washington & let your elected officials know that enough is enough.

            Don't let the bullies win. Here's a copy of an e-mail from the founder of Moms Demand Action with easy ways to let your elected officials know how you feel:

Hello Moms Demand Action members,

The Assault Weapons Ban is supported by more than a dozen Senate Democrats, the White House, and organizations for safer gun laws. So why is Sen. Reid waffling on whether to bring it to the floor as a bill?

Fast tweet Congress
 

Call Sen. Majority Leader Harry Reid NOW at 202-224-3542 or Tweet him - @senatorreid

Go to our Fast-Tweet page so you can tweet your lawmakers from the website in less than a minute.

It will just take a minute and is a great way to let your representatives know this issue isn’t going away! Share this email with a friend and ask for their support!

Warmly,
Shannon Watts, Founder
Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense In America

Tuesday's Special Edition: Part II: Why Shrinks Need to Protect Children

Thought for the Day: As I began to organize my thoughts for a post about my trip to Washington DC to advocate for change in #gunsense policies, I realized that it would take a few posts to do justice to my trip. Since my return alone, I saw two relevant stories about gun violence in the news. On Saturday, a father tragically killed his 10 month old child accidentally while handling a semi-automatic pistol with his wife & his 3 & 2 year old children witnessing the tragedy in a Tennessee hotel room. This morning the report of how a Florida college student's plans to massacre fellow students was averted was the first story I saw when I opened my browser. My trip to DC & my observations are too important to delay writing about. Therefore, I will be adding special editions till I complete my posts this week.

Yesterday, I described the reasons I decided to travel to Washington to take part in the event. Today, I'd like to tell you about my first impressions of the 250 participants in Moms Take the Hill on March 13, 2013. I began to meet them on Tuesday March 12th at the Crown Plaza in Arlington VA. I had worked Tuesday morning & then drove from CT to Arlington, VA. I managed to miss most of the rush hour traffic & arrived a little after 6:30 PM. There was just enough time to find my room & have a quick dinner before a 7:30 PM meeting at the hotel. I was physically exhausted, but wanted to meet the people I would be spending time with on Capitol Hill.
 

At the meeting, I met some of the organizers & about 70 of the 250 participants from 30 states from around the United States who had made the trip to speak their minds on gun control. Most of the participants had never been politically active before. Like me, it was their 1st trip to DC, to take part in the process of "lobbying" for a cause that moved them to action. There were lots of questions & concerns.

There was a woman whose colleague & best friend had been killed in Virginia while teaching on a college campus a few years ago. There was a Skidmore College freshman who originally just planned to accompany her mother to learn about political activism. Her mother, who lives in Milford CT, got involved after Sandy Hook. Just a week before the trip to DC, after being in a lock down at Skidmore, her fears & concerns about her fellow students' reactions to the lock down gave the young accidental activist personal reasons to get involved.  There was a grandmother who came with her granddaughter from Michigan. There were gun owners from Texas & Colorado, who believe in the right to bear arms, but want stricter controls, mandatory background checks & stricter gun trafficking policies.  Since I was from CT & spent time with a participant from Newtown, I began to hear the gasps & see the emotional reactions everyone had when they heard someone was from Newtown. There were fathers & sons who wanted their voices to be heard. The participants were from varied socioeconomic backgrounds, religions, races & a variety of professions. From housewives, to retirees, to physicians, publicists, & nurses, they all had the common goal to make a difference & leave the world safer for their children & grandchildren.

My name tag

The organizers were well prepared & helped the participants by explaining what to expect. Not only did they bring orientation packets with agendas, name tags, maps & information, but they also had lists, which they continued to up date, of all the 90 meetings they had scheduled for the participants with their elected officials. Each small group would have a leader who knew their way around the capitol to help them get from building to building in a timely fashion. The most touching presenter was a mother whose daughter had been wounded in the Virginia Tech massacre. Her daughter survived, but she & her family's lives were changed forever. Since Virginia Tech she has been fighting the battle for gun control. She encouraged all the participants to simply tell their stories & why they want changes in gun control policies. The organizers reported that the recent events in DC are encouraging & that our presence is crucial to the outcome. They gave out stickers with the words: "Background Checks Save Lives" and buttons that said: "Protect Children Not Guns." My button would lead to my meeting Representative Nancy Pelosi, but that story will have to wait till tomorrow.

Stickers

There was agreement that comprehensive background checks, restrictions on semi-automatic weapons, limitations on high powered munitions, strict gun trafficking laws & increased safety measures in schools are needed. Although I believe that increased budgets for mental health & educational programs to teach tolerance, the leaders reported that the gun control bills being proposed are the first most important steps that leaders believe are attainable now. The others will come later. People asked questions about how to deal with leaders who are opposed to gun control laws or who are being influenced by the gun lobby. They encouraged us to be armed with our stories, our consciences, our resolve to protect children & to let them know that the "Sandy Hook effect" will not disappear as the gun lobby hopes it will.

At about 9 PM the official meeting ended, but many people continued to talk. Tired, but envigorated by the powerful group I had begun to get to know, I went to try to get some sleep so that I would be ready to board the buses to Capitol Hill by 6:45 AM on Wednesday. Come back tomorrow to hear about my meetings with senators & congressmen on the hill.

Motivational Mondays: Why Shrinks Must Help Shrink Gun Violence

Thought for the Day: I have spent my entire adult life working as a clinical psychologist changing lives & helping make a difference in the world. A few years ago, I decided that I needed to help more people by writing a self help book that would teach techniques I developed to help people accomplish their dreams. Little did I know that this decision would lead to my involvement in nonpartisan political activism & travel to Washington DC to advocate for sensible changes in gun control laws. Here's a brief description of my transformation into what Shannon Watts, the founder of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense called an accidental activist. It also helps explain why I believe that therapists should become "Shrinks 4 Shrinking Gun Violence." This post will be longer than most & will lead to some additional posts this week to cover all that I experienced & learned in DC, so please stay tuned.

Intentionally,  I always kept my personal opinions & political views to my self & out of the realm of therapy. My role has been to help clients discover their own solutions regardless of their beliefs or political persuasion. I teach people to resolve conflicts & deal with emotions, including anger, in healthy ways. As I have become involved in book promotion & supporting nonprofit organizations using social media, I have become more vocal online.

Those of you who have been following me on twitter (@WakeUpDreamNow), facebook (facebook.com/TheWakeUpAndDreamChallenge) & here on my blog, know that I have been speaking up about bullying in general & as symptomatic of our society & more recently about gun violence. This has occurred due to my expertise from working with trauma victims. The Sandy Hook tragedy led to several blog posts, radio appearances, writing a free downloadable e-book, When Bad Things Happen to Children with my daughter, & attending a march in Hartford on Valentine's Day 2013. Therefore, when I learned that Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense was organizing a day in DC, "Moms Take the Hill, March 13. 2013," & that they would make appointments for all participants with their senators & congressmen, I felt I had a responsibility to make the trip & let my voice be heard in DC.

The Friday before the event I listened to a live phone orientation.  In the orientation, they encouraged all participants to be prepared to tell their story: Why did you sign up to come to DC? What changes do you hope to see in gun control? They did not expect me to be an expert on the legislative process going on in DC, just to voice my thoughts on why change is needed & any ideas that I have about what will help.

Here's what I was prepared to tell my elected representatives: I am a mother, grandmother, psychologist, & author. I am here for my children, grandchildren & the tens to hundreds of thousands of clients & readers that I have helped & will continue to help deal with death, trauma, bullying & life challenges. I have dedicated my life to helping people find solutions to their problems & reach for their dreams & I fear that children's & adults lives & dreams are being destroyed with each additional violent tragedy.

I am here out of concern for the American society that is being traumatized by gun violence daily & at times becoming numb to the consequences. I am not only concerned for the children who witnessed the event or the families who lost a loved one from gun violence who will work throughout their lives to cope with these senseless tragedies, but I am also worried about the children who witnessed the traumatic events on TV across the country who feel helpless & are scared that harm will come to them, too.

I am here for the young adults who said to me cavalierly in the days following Sandy Hook, that they were "fine," since they, "have lived through Columbine & 9/11 & are used to tragedies." When I asked them about what it was like for them when they experienced those events as children, they began to cry. As they felt the pain they had buried for years, they admitted to themselves & me that they simply were trying not to let their feelings get to them. I am here for the adults in their 30's who said, "I am fine, I don't have any children, but my mother in California is a retired teacher has been crying all week. How can I help her?" I am here for the women who came to work in Stamford & across the nation after Sandy Hook, who could not stop crying even though they did not know anyone personally who was harmed by the tragedy. They did not understand why the events are still impacting them so heavily. I know how to help people work on these emotions, but I & all my colleagues across the nation do not have the resources to reach a nation traumatized by multiple traumatic events. Together, we must find ways to reduce the violence in our nation.

I am here because, although I am trained to help people deal with trauma & will continue to do so, I see the insidious rise in tragedies due to gun violence as something that is preventible. We cannot stop hurricanes from happening, but we can prepare people to take better precautions & protect themselves better. We may not be able to stop all gun violence, but we can try to reduce it by advocating for more sensible laws. As healers psychologists, social workers, psychiatrists & other people in the field of mental health, if we allow ourselves to become numb, feel helpless to stop the violence & fail to speak up, we are shirking our duty to advocate for the mental health of our society.

Before I left home, I made copies of my e-book, a few of my blog posts, including the comments that people posted on this blog & on facebook stating what they wanted the leaders in DC to know about their feelings about gun laws. I also spent time with my grandchildren in Boston making paper doll chains. The 8 dolls in each chain represent 8 children who are killed every day in the USA from gun violence. I knew that I would have 4 meetings with senators & congressmen in DC. I also knew that I would be attending a press conference in which Dianne Feinstein was one of the slated speakers. Over the week, I will add a additional posts to my Tuesday's Psychological Trivia & in place of What If? Wednesdays to tell you about what I learned in DC, my experiences there & some common sense solutions that I hope our nation will begin to implement. Please share your thoughts & feelings & come back to hear more of what you can do to help shrink the gun violence in our nation.

Dr. Lavi, with Moms Demand Action with Senators Blumenthal & Murphy

Here's a preview of one of my visits with Connecticut Senators Blumenthal &  Murphy with the paper dolls we gave to them to symbolize why we must take action.

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: Easy Activism, NPO Helps Other NPO's, Marathon Winners, Operation Beautiful

Thought for the Day: This week has been an exciting week for me. I have not had time to reflect & write about my trip to Washington DC yet. As a psychologist, the parallels between the issues related to bullying & the gun lobby in Washington are ironic. On Monday, I plan to write about my observations of this phenomenon. In the meantime, my 1st Fab find gives some easy ways that you can get involved & help Moms Demand Action. Even if you have never been politically active before check it out. On twitter, I found an innovative nonprofit organization that offers support to other nonprofit organizations. In these rough financial times, their support will be a welcome service. If you know an NPO that could use some help, pass this information on. My third find is a story about a father who is facing the challenge of brain cancer by running marathons with his 5 year old daughter. Finally, I found it refreshing to see teen age girls encouraging their peers to go makeup free. Have a great weekend & enjoy these finds! I hope you will come back on Saturday for Saturday's Songs for the Soul & Sunday's Comic Strips & on Monday for Motivational Mondays. -->

I am honored to be standing behind Nancy Pelosi

1) Moms Demand Action is the main page of this grassroots revolution that has grown from one mom's web page to 80,000 members & 80 chapters across the USA since 12/14/2012. On this page they have several short videos including one showing how to make phone call to your congressmen & phone numbers of some senators who have voted against the current legislation.

     In addition they have an amazing page that includes easy click & tweet options to let your elected officials know you want them to support the anti-gun legislation being voted on now in the senate & tweets to let the world know the facts about gun violence in America

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2) Kerstner Foundation offers free websites& other services for Nonprofits.

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3) An truly inspiring story of true marathon winners. A father running for his life & making sure his 5 year old daughter knows her father's legacy first hand.

  

4) How some teenage girls from Texas are encouraging their peers be themselves & to go Make Up Free: Operation Beautiful.

 
 
 

Motivational Mondays: #Gunsense Send Your Message to Congress

Thought for the Day: This Monday, I'd like to start the week off by helping you have a voice in Washington DC, but I will need your help to do it. Those of you following my blog have seen multiple posts about the rising violence in our society. As a psychologist, I am concerned about the traumatic impact this rise in violence has on our society. From bullying (Bullying Part I, Bullying Part II,  Bullying Part III , Bullying Part IV), to intolerance, to educational & mental health proposals to the Newtown tragedy, I have been raising my voice for saner gun control, more respect & tolerance in our society. I have written to the president asking for changes not only in gun control, but also in education & mental health provisions to help curb bullying & violence in our schools & society. This Wednesday, I will get a chance to speak my mind with senators & congressmen in Washington DC when I join a nonpartisan group of concerned mothers & fathers, Moms Demand Action for Gunsense in America. Statistically 90% of Americans want more #gunsense when it comes to legislation about safer control of guns, ie. enforcing background checks, closing loopholes which allow transfers of guns without background checks, & stopping of gun trafficking of illegal guns from state to state.

I would like your help today. If you have something you hope I will be able to convey to representatives in congress, please post a comment. I will bring along a print out with your comments to leave with every representative that I see. Feel free to write your feelings about the rise in gun violence & how it has impacted you, your children & your community. You are all experts on how the news about Newtown, Aurora & other gun violence have impacted on you. If you are a parent, how did you feel when you sent your children to school on the bus after the Newtown tragedy? Are you worried about their safety? Do you want teachers to carry guns? Have your children asked you questions that you are struggling to answer? If you are a retired teacher in Indiana, Wyoming or anywhere in the United States who found yourself crying all weekend after Newtown, write about it. If you are a therapist & have been speaking with your clients about their fears & concerns, please write about what your clients are feeling.  Your voice, feelings & experiences are important.

I will be joining mothers (& fathers) from across the nation for a day long event followed by a press conference with Senators Barbara Boxer & Diane Feinstein as two of the slated speakers. I will share my thoughts & impressions here as soon as possible, so check back often. (I may add additional posts or change the line up of posts, so this might be a good time to follow or set up an RSS feed of the blog.)

Please post whatever messages you would like to have me bring to the hill!

#FF: The Face of Autism, Silver Linings, & the Power of Mothers

Thought for the Day: I collect my finds for this post throughout the week while I browse the web. My only agenda is to find articles that will help my readers, but when I put them together they sometimes have some common features. In today's post two common themes arose loud & clear. The first two articles relate to helping people understand & discuss two serious psychological disorders: autism & bipolar disorder. The second two show the power of mothers' resourcefulness & creativity. I hope you will use, enjoy & share these resources with friends & family. I hope you will come back tomorrow for Saturday's Songs for the Soul post, a series I started last week. As I prepared for tomorrow's post, the songs came in handy, by accident, in some of my sessions with clients. Without giving away any confidential information, I will share how the songs I chose helped people as they worked through life challenges in therapy. 

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1) My first fabulous find is a contest sponsored by Parenting Magazine called: What Autism looks like. Autism  is one of various psychological issues that impact on followers of my facebook page & blog.  It is one of the challenges that are grossly misunderstood in our society. I frequently hear how parents of autistic children contend with critical looks & comments from other parents, storekeepers & passersby as they try to control their children's challenging behavior. I applaud Parenting Magazine for their willingness to write about a topic that is rarely covered by mainstream media. Entrants in the contest could win a well deserved family vacation package, plus airfare, to The Santa Barbara Beach & Golf Resort in Curacao, a $500 donation to the autism organization of your choice & a chance to appear in Parenting magazine. Two runners-up will receive a $500 donation to the autism organization of their choice. To enter, fill out a simple form with a 300 words or less story telling what autism looks like to you by March 18th. To get the details & enter the contest, click here: http://www.parenting.com/webform/what-autism-looks?src=SOC&dom=tm
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2) An article about how the movie Silver Linings Playbook has been changing lives is my second fabulous find. It appeared in The Huffington Post & was written by Matthew Quick, author of the novel, The Silver Linings Playbook, upon which the movie was based. He reports that as he talks with people from around the country who have seen the movie, that it has helped "an extraordinary amount of people feel less alone." Director, producer & screenplay writer, David O. Russell, did not have a hard time imagining the characters & their lives. David's 18 year old son, Matt, suffers from bipolar disorder. (Here's a clip of David & Matt speaking about their experience working on the film. ) The movie is giving new insight into the world mental illness & how it impacts on families. It also has opened a platform to discuss the obstacles in the path to recovery. The acting by Jennifer Lawrence, who received the Oscar for her role,  Bradley Cooper,  Robert De Niro & Jacki Weaver are all believable, at times funny & other times just heart wrenching. David O. Russell was not the only one in the movie who had first hand experience with mental illness. De Niro revealed the fact that he too has known what families of the mentally ill experience. He apologized for tearing up (see photo below) during an interview with Katie Couric about the movie. The fact that De Niro, whose father suffered from depression, felt compelled to apologize for his emotions underscores how hard it is for people to discuss mental illness of a family member publicly. Fortunately, the movie is helping many people speak up about their experiences. If you have not seen the movie yet, make the time to see it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matthew-quick/silver-linings-playbook_b_2706230.html?icid=maing-grid7|heroes|dl19|sec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D274538
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3) My third find comes from an organization called Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America. In just 10 weeks, these amazing women have mobilized 80,000 members with 80 chapters across the country. The nonpartisan grass roots movement is organizing an event in Washington DC on March 13th. They will even set up appointments for anyone who wants to take part to meet with their elected officials! I am trying to free up some time to go down, since both gun control & increased access to programs for the mentally ill are high on my personal agenda. Here's how these fiesty moms are taking action: MOMS TAKE THE HILL: Can you join Moms Demand Action on March 13 in Washington, DC? We'll help make your appointments with your Congressional reps - all you have to do is fill out this form and get to DC! Please share with moms who may want to join us! #momsdemandaction #gunsense Click here to learn more & sign up if you can go:

http://momsdemandaction.org/moms-take-the-hill-for-gun-sense/
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Lynn Perkins Founder & CEO of UrbanSitters with her twins

4) If you need a sitter in order to go to Washington DC, my fourth find, the work of another creative mother may help you find one quickly. The article by Catherine New tells the story of how Lynn Perkins, the mother of twin boys (pictured to the left), is revolutionizing the baby sitting market. See how her new company, UrbanSitters.com is using online matchmaking technology to streamline the process of finding a sitter.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/06/urbansitter-lynn-perkins_n_2576984.html?utm_hp_ref=women-in-tech&icid=maing-grid7|heroes|dl14|sec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D275294

Have a wonderful weekend!