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Monday, April 29, 2013

Motivational Mondays: Balancing Motherhood & Dreams

Thought for the Day:  As I mentioned on Friday, I will be presenting this Thursday at the Museum of Motherhood & plan to dedicate this week's posts to the challenges of modern parenting. With more & more mothers joining the workforce out of necessity, the balancing act that mothers need to perform is more & more complex. Making time for children's needs, a social life & for their husbands may leave little space for a mothers' personal needs & even less for their personal dreams. Since Mother's Day is just around the corner, I'd like to make today's post the 1st in a series of posts. As I bring up the issues, I would love to hear how you are dealing with the complexities of modern motherhood. What works for you? What is not working & needs improvements to make it better? Are you able to make time for yourself & your aspirations? If not, why not?

Motherhood Everywhere *1
In my book, The Wake Up and Dream Challenge, I present many reasons it is important for people to make time for their dreams. In preparing for this week's conference, I am focusing on a slightly different perspective, which I did not cover specifically in the book. Why should mothers take time for their dreams? Many women have been taught that helping their children & their husband  accomplish their dreams should be their priority. An interesting explanation of this tendency among western women is given in the book, Too Good for Her Own Good, that women have been taught to put other's needs before their own.  Therefore, mothers may feel selfish if they spend time pursuing their personal dreams.

If all you did was spend time working on your dreams it would be selfish, however, it is a self assertive act, not a selfish one if it is balanced as part of the many things you do for others.

Here are some reasons it is important to make time for your dreams. First, if you give up your dreams for someone else, be it your husband, your children or your parents, you may grow to resent the people closest to you. In my book, I quote the song, "Someone Else's Dreams," a country music song written by Trey Bruce and Craig Wiseman. You can listen to it here performed by Faith Hill to see what happens when you follow someone else's dreams. If you neglect your dreams you not only will lose precious time, but you will feel robbed of your own dreams.

Mother with child at work *2
Another reason mothers need to pursue their own dreams, is that if you don't, you run the risk of trying to live vicariously via your children's accomplishments. Unconsciously, you may be pressuring your children to follow a path that is not their dream, but yours. They may also grow to resent the pressure. It may lead them ultimately to distance both from you & the activity that you have been pushing them towards. Helping a child find & pursue their dreams is an important part of parenting, but it must be done carefully to be sure it is the child's dream & not yours.

On My Shoulders *3

The most important reason to make space for your dreams is for your children's sake. Your actions will teach your children about the importance of taking time for themselves & pursuing their dreams. You are your children's most important role model. Your actions speak louder than your words.

Are you making time for your dreams? If not, what keeps you from working towards them?

*1'Motherhood everywhere' http-/
*2 'Motherhood everywhere' http-/
*3  'On my shoulders' http-/
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