Memorial Day Monday: What You Can Do If You Are Angry About the War Raging in Our Streets?

Thought for the Day: This Memorial Day weekend, I am angry and I need your help. Those of you following my blog know that I have been voicing my concerns and offering suggestions of ways to help prevent the senseless loss of life from gun violence in our country. In January of 2013, after the Sandy Hook Tragedy, I wrote a letter to President Obama outlining my concerns along with creative ways to implement educational and psychological programs nationwide. Sadly, the violence has continued since then. This Memorial Day weekend began with yet another attack at the University of California in Santa Barbara. I watched in horror and sadness as the details of senseless loss of life unfolded. Unfortunately, we are living with not only a war waged by terrorists against our nation, but we are also under attack from within by angry, hurt, young adults who feel marginalized and mistreated by society.

I was also saddened to learn that my grandmother's nephew,  Herb Crane, a World War II veteran, passed away at the age of 95 two days ago. He lived a full active life. He even drove to the gym daily while in hospice care. (The article was written and aired before he passed away.) I want everyone in our nation to have the opportunity to live their lives, like Herb, to the fullest without fear of violent attacks in schools, colleges, shopping malls or movie theaters. I need your help. If you are angry, like me, and want to be part of the solution, read on on to see how you can take action...

Wednesday's Words of Wisdom: Moms Demand Action & Mahatma Ghandi

Thought for the Day: Today I copied an image and a quote from Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America. Those of you who have been following my blog know that I have been advocating for stricter gun control laws since the Sandy Hook Tragedy. I have lobbied with Moms Demand Action in DC and am impressed with their tireless efforts. They make political activism easy with twitter and facebook campaigns. I love the quote they used with their Valentine's Day campaign:

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from indomitable will."        Mahatma Ghandi

When we see things in society that we want to change we must find our inner strength to persevere and stand up for what we believe. Often when tragedies occur, we feel helpless, taking action and joining forces with like minded people, can help us feel empowered. Valentine's Day is a day dedicated to love. Too many lives of innocent children and loved ones are being stolen from us due to lack of sensible background checks for those who wish to purchase guns or to gun owners' carelessness . Too many children are dying when they have access to unsecured guns, leading to accidental shootings by children.

The image above came with a call for action for Valentine's Day. I hope you will tweet, post, and share it and follow the  call to action. Just click on the bit.ly link below & tweet to your senators and congressmen. It will only take a couple of minutes, but it could save lives.

MOM'S Demand Action's VALENTINE'S DAY CALL TO ACTION: Despite the 43 school shootings since Newtown, Congress continues to turn a blind eye to America's gun violence epidemic. Use our Fast-Tweet link to tell Congress our hearts are broken, but our will is strong. And while you’re at it, Tweet them a pic of your Valentine with the hashtags#MomsBrokenHearts and #MomsDemandhttp://bit.ly/MCuDcd - LIKE and SHARE this post!

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: Senator Taking Aim at Medicare Injustice, Harvey Weinstein Aiming at the NRA, & Dr Lavi Focusing on Sports Psyche 101

Thought for the Day: This is my second post of the day, since I was too busy yesterday, I posted Thursday's Triivia Question this morning which was True or False: Children Raised By Single Moms Tend to Be Emotionally Handicapped for Life. All single moms should take a look and share it with friends and family. Here are my #FF Fabulous Finds for the week which include legislation aimed at helping protect elder citizens from being hit by hidden health care costs, A radio show I will be participating in tomorrow on Sports Psyche 101 you can tune in live on ResultsWillVary.com at 12 Noon EST, and a new movie by Harvey Weinstein aimed at the NRA.

                                                                              The 1st Find this week is a press release from Menorah Park Center for Senior Living in Beechwood OH They had a meeting with Senator Sherrod Brown about legislation to help senior citizens. The conference was called to bring to light the Medicare policy that is causing seniors to be unknowingly hit with large, unfair medical costs after receiving medical care. Under the current law, when seniors ar held for observation in hospitals for days without being admitted, the services are not covered by medicare. Medicare only covrs hospital admissions after 3 days...







I will be speaking on Sports Psych 101 radio program tomorrow 1/18/2014 at 12 noon EST. The topic will be incorporating your fitness goals with your other life dreams this year, to make sure you keep on target all year. This is sponsored by +Res V Results Will Vary on Google+. Tune in LIVE on ResultsWillVary.com

                   *Photo from

Those of you following my blog know that I have been actively supporting +MomsDemandAction, advocating for #Gunsense and more psychological services to help reduce gun violence in our nation. Yesterday, I learned that Harvey Weinstein to Take Aim at NRA in New Movie. I applaud Weinstein, a Westport resident and accomplished movie producer for taking a stand on this important issue. 

*Photo from Wikipedia  Author = David Shankbone 

Motivational Miraculous Mondays: Part I: 2013 Top 10 Posts

Thought for the Day: This morning I awakened to the sound of a downpour of rain. Normally, the sound of rain is not the most welcome event for me; however, today I was looking forward to the rain. When I looked outside, the rain had washed away most of the ice and snow that has blanketed my yard & car for several days as New England & 2/3s of the country has battled bitter cold temperatures. It is interesting how your perspective changes due to life circumstances. Today's post is a continuation of January's celebration of a New Year and my second year of blogging. This is part I of a 2 part post of the Top 10 Miraculous Motivational Mondays blog posts of 2013. I have chosen the posts using the number of page views each of these posts had.

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: End of 2013 Treasures & Predictions for the Future

Thought for the Day: This time of year, it seems that life is rushing by with little time for catching up on reading. It feels like Alibaba and the Forty Thieves are stealing the last days of 2013! However, I came across some treasures this week that I want to share with you today. All five look towards the future with ways to improve our lives.In the 1st,  IBM makes some predictions about what we will see in the future. The future may already be here for a lot of people who no longer need an office as the second article reports. The fourth find tells about how actress Glenn Close and other stars are making their way to Washington DC to advocate for a new Mental Health bill. The fourth, a video, takes a look back at the accomplishments of a grass roots movement, Moms Demand Action to end gun violence that began just a year ago in response to the Newtown tragedy. The fifth is a feel good story that looks back two years and forward to a bright future for an 18 year old immigrant who has been the odds & uses twitter in a very creative way. (For those of you who read yesterday's post, the reporter's personality is clearly revealed in his tweets.) I hope you enjoy them.

1. IBM reveals its top five innovation predictions for the next five years 
2. Office Not Required
3. Glenn Close visiting Capitol Hill to advocate for mental health bill
4. One Year Later: No More Silence
5. Reporter Follows Up on a Hard Story and Finds a Really Happy Ending

Have a wonderful weekend!

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: High Tech Doc, Guns, Starbucks, Funny Photos & Exercise Pill

It's Friday & time for my Fabulous Finds. Today I have a mixed bag starting with some funny photos, followed by a survey form to help me become a high tech doctor from HealthTap, two articles about guns in public places and finally a potential exercise pill. Have a great weekend and I hope you enjoy these finds.

As summer draws to an end, here are some very funny family vacation photos from MomMe by By Lindsay Goldenberg

Here's a very interesting survey for feedback on HealthTap. I am not sure how many people who read this blog know me well enough to consider filling out a survey about my work, but if you do, take a look and give me some feedback on how you see my explanations of things and the likelihood of your referring others to see me. I think their approach to medicine is quite interesting and on the cutting edge.

I don't consider this a fabulous find. The Huffington Post article by Rebecca Klein is, however, an important controversial find to ponder. A private school in Arkansas is arming and training teachers. What do you think? Is this the way to go to protect our children? Could this policy literally backfire and lead to accidents or arms getting into children's hands?

On the other side of the gun control debate, is a call by Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense to Skip Starbucks this Saturday, August 24th. Read why they want you to skip Starbucks Coffee. You can also join 14.000 other concerned citizens who are trying to get Stabucks to change their policies.

Finally a potential 'Exercise Pill' May Build Muscle, Boost Athletic Performance,  & Lower Cholesterol Levels (VIDEO) from The Huffington Post Science by Jacqueline Howard The pill is being studied with rats. It mimics many of exercise's benefits and could help people who are unable to exercise due to illnesses. It does not, however, replace the psychological benefits of exercise.

Triumphant Thursday: Newtown Little League Team Headed to World Series

 

Photo from The Hartford Courant

Thought for the Day: Those of you reading my blog have seen several posts about the Sandy Hook Tragedy (When Bad Things Happen to Children: Helping Children Process Traumatic Events, The Sandy Hook Promise, Sandy Hook Revisited: Where Were You Last December 14th are just a few). I have traveled to Washington DC to lobby with Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense and voiced my concerns for the mental health of our nation's children. I was filled with joy when I learned from a Newtown resident that the Newtown Renegades Little League team won the New England regional competition last week. They will be heading to Florida for the Cal Ripkin World Series next week! It is a tribute to the kids, their families, coaches and the entire community of Newtown for providing support and encouragement in spite of the challenges they have faced this year. It is clear the parents and coaches want to help their children just be kids and play ball, but they are also teaching invaluable life lessons. These children are continuing to reach for their dreams while honoring those lost with the simple symbolic green ribbons on their tee shirts and hats. Their resilience is inspiring. Good luck Renegades in Florida! You are already winners regardless of what transpires on the baseball diamond.

If you would like to read more or see a video, here's a link to an article in the Hartford Courant: Newtown Baseball Team Headed to the Cal Ripkin World Series

Monday's Special Edition: When Not Guilty Does Not Mean Innocent: A Nation Struggles With the Zimmerman Acquittal

Thought for the Day: I could not simply write a Motivational Monday post today as if the George Zimmerman acquittal had not happened. I must admit I thought about it & delayed writing till after 10 AM today. However, I felt compelled to share some thoughts on the trial from a psychological & personal perspective. Many people across the United States are struggling with mixed feelings about the decision in Florida that George Zimmerman was found to be not guilty of murder or manslaughter. The jury decided that they could not determine beyond a reasonable doubt that Zimmerman was not acting in self defense when he killed 17 year old, unarmed Trayvon Martin. Although the jury may have had no choice other than the not guilty decision, it simply feels wrong. It makes me fearful this decision will reinforce the vigilante-like actions & racially profiling tendencies which appear to have motivated Zimmerman to go after Trayvon in the first place. Even if Zimmerman feared for his life at the second before he pulled the trigger, as a society are we reinforcing behaviors that increase the chance for violence, prejudice & injustice? What do you think? How can the system be improved? Did it work properly or is it flawed?

There have been protests around the nation calling for action by the Federal Government''s Department of Justice to try Zimmerman for Civil Rights violations. The government has reopened their investigation in light of the protests. Our president, Barack Obama, acknowledged the strong feelings this case has evoked, "but we are a nation of laws, and a jury has spoken. I now ask every American to respect the call for calm reflection from two parents who lost their young son." 

Both my parents were lawyers who taught me to respect laws & the legal system on which our nation was founded. They were also political activists, who ingrained in me a responsible citizen's obligation to do whatever I could, legally, to change a law if I felt it was unjust. Lawyers tend to see things in black & white. Psychologists, on the other hand, see all the shades of grey, in addition to the rest of the colors of the rainbow. In complicated situations like this one, the restraint of accepting the verdict as the law of the land, helps me. However, it does not stop me or any citizen in this great nation from speaking out to reform laws & procedures which may lead to unjust policies.

I believe that we all must acknowledge, reflect & speak up about our feelings. If we feel things are wrong, we can protest & search for creative ways to change the current reality in our society. Over the weekend I received an e-mail from Sharon Watts, founder of Moms Demand Action Against Gun Violence. She wrote: 

"Today, we are all Trayvon Martin’s mother. Trayvon, a 17-year- old victim of gun violence, was sadly one of the children and teens shot and killed every 3 hours and 15 minutes in America. Gun violence is a public health crisis of epidemic proportions in our country and, unchecked by Congress and many state legislatures, continues to spiral out of control. The lack of regulation of guns in America is a grave danger to all of our children....It is time for the 80 million mothers of America to stand our ground and demand new, common-sense gun laws and policies that will protect our children and honor the tragic shooting deaths of youths like Trayvon Martin. Collectively, we can use our votes and our voices to change policies and laws that will help keep American children out of the line of fire."
One way to do something about how you are feeling about the verdict is to Join Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense In America TODAY. 

There are other things which you can do in response to the feelings this case has conjured up. If you feel that racial profiling played a part in this tragedy, get involved in programs that teach tolerance of differences & work to eliminate prejudice. I have written in the past about programs & organizations that are working towards this goal (see recent series of posts on bullying: Part I,  Part II,  Part III, &  Part IV). Get involved & advocate for their inclusion in our schools & communities. 

I would love to hear your thought about the decision & any ideas you have for reform of the legal system, jury selection you may have.

Photo of Trayvon Martin from Moms Demand Action

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: Living With Purpose from Iowa, Mumbai, Oklahoma, Boston & DC

Thought for the Day: TGIF & it's time for my #FF Fabulous Finds. Although my #FF finds this week come from Iowa to Mumbai to Boston, Oklahoma & DC, the common element is "Living with Purpose."  Although the stories are diverse covering education, motivation, & entertainment, check these finds out & see how they are related. Have a wonderful weekend! Let me know what you think & I'd love to hear what motivates you, too. I hope you will join me tomorrow for Saturday's Songs for the Soul & Sunday's Comic Strips.

1) Memorial Day:  Iowa Veteran's 72 year wait to get a diploma. This week began with a Memorial Day Monday Blog post & my first finds tells why an Iowa veteran chose to miss his high school graduation 72 years ago. Be sure to watch the video till the end to completely understand what motivated him.

2) Thanks to social media a young woman, Shweta Katti, who grew up in Mumbai's red-light district, Kamathipura, may realize her dream to study in America. Send Shweta Katti to College

3) This video is an excellent example of how education is changing & available world wide via the internet & YouTube. It helps explain why traditional ideas about motivation don't work.

 
4) Social Action: Moms Demand Action Click here to automatically call your Congressman every day. I continue to be impressed by the resourcefulness of MOMs Demand Action. If you want universal background checks to happen, MOMs demand action needs your help see why & how easy it can be....

Photos from FlickrCC.com

 5) Carrie Underwood is donating the proceeds from her Blown Away concert tour to the Oklahoma Tornado recovery efforts.   If you love Carrie Underwood's music to support survivors of the  music her, generous donation to victims of tornadoes   in her home state of Oklahoma will make you love her even more.
 

NKOTB w Boyz II Men. Time travel

6) At the star studded 'Boston Strong' benefit Concert last night NKOTB, Aerosmith, Boston, James Taylor and Carole King, the J. Geils Band, Jimmy Buffett, Jason Aldean, and comedians Dane Cook and Steven Wright all worked for free Thursday.  TD Garden, Ticketmaster, and a host of local hotels also donated their services for free. they expect to raise over $1.5 million for the One Fund. The photo (courtesy of my brother who attended the concert) was just before the musicians went & hugged the victims & first responders.

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: Gifts for Mothers & Their Children

Thought for the Day: Here are my Friday's Fabulous Finds for the week. In keeping with Mother's Day, I chose articles that I see as gifts to mothers everywhere. If you are new to my blog, you may want to take a look at the 5 part series I posted last year as well. (Part I: How the World Would Change If My Mother Ruled the World, Part II- Mother's Day Series: If My Grandmother Ruled the World, Part III- Mother's Day Series: If My Grandmother, Mother and I Ruled the World. Mother's Day Part IV: If My Step-Mother Ruled the World, & Mother's Day Part V: If My Daughters Ruled the World. If you are looking for videos to send to your mothers, there are several good ones included in the Mother's Day series from last year. I hope you will have a wonderful Mother's Day. Tomorrow's Songs for the Soul will bring a special story about a song that helped save one songwriter's life, so tune in.


Here are this week's Fabulous Finds:

1) Child Abuse Hotline Ad Uses Photographic Trick That Makes It Visible Only To Children by Betsy Isaacson   An innovative sign that can help stop child abuse by using modern technology. It's message with a phone number to call if a child is being abused is visible only to children. (Sorry for the strange formatting, but I can't seem to fix it!)

Tracey Stewart with her daughter

2) Stand Up for Girls Big and Small by Tracey Stewart  addresses how to combat a strange tendency among some women to be hypercritical of other women.

 

 

 

3) Keep Your Flowers on Mother's Day, I Want My Rights by Shannon Watts. I had the honor of meeting Shannon Watts when I went to Washington DC to advocate for sensible gun control laws. Shannon is the Founder, Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America, which has grown to 100,000 moms across the USA. In her article, this Mother's Day, Shannon suggests that we skip the flowers & fight for our rights to make the world safer for our children.

4) A Mother's Day Letter for a Special Needs Mom  by Suzanne Perryman Perryman is a blogger at SpecialNeedsMom.com. This letter is written to mothers who's children may not write them Mother's Day Cards or thank them for all that they do 24/7, 365 days a year.

Claire Bidwell Smith's Mother

5) On Being a Motherless Mother by Claire Bidwell Smith,  a Los Angeles-based grief therapist & author of the memoir 'The Rules of Inheritance,' writes about an experience with her impulsive mother & how she reconnects with her mother who passed away. For those of you whose mothers are no longer living, Mother's Day can be rough. This touching post may be helpful.

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: Action, Heroes, Creativity, Dreams & Your Health

Thought for the Day: TGIF and it's time for Friday's Fabulous Finds. This week, I have 4 great finds. The first is a set of simple tasks you can do every day this week to help push congress to make sensible changes in gun laws & honor the memory of Ana Márquez-Greene, Sandy Hook Elementary Victim Who Would Have Turned 7 Years Old on April 4. The second is honoring Daryl & Phyliss Sudman founders of Simon's Fund, one of the NPO's featured in & benefiting from my book, The Wake Up and Dream Challenge. The Sudman's were chosen by People Magazine as Heroes Among Us. The next find is a delightful 2 minute video clip on how creativity works. The fourth find is an article about what your dreams can tell you about your physical health.

Hope you enjoy these finds & come back over the weekend for Saturday's Songs for the Soul & Sunday's Comic Strips.

1) Moms Demand Action Week 

MOMS DEMAND ACTION FOR GUN SENSE IN AMERICA TO SPONSOR “MOMS

DEMAND ACTION WEEK” TO PRESSURE CONGRESS TO PASS STRONGER

GUN LAWS

Week Dedicated to Ana Márquez-Greene, Sandy Hook Elementary Victim Who Would

Have Turned 7 Years Old on April 4; American Moms to Reach Out to Congress Every Day Week of April 1. Easy tasks any busy mom can do every day this week to help put pressure on Congress.

The Sudman Family 2004

2) People Magazine chose Darren and Phyllis Sudman & Simon's Fund as Heroes Among Us Darren and Phyllis Sudman Save Children's Lives with Heart Screenings By Sandra Sobieraj Westfall Click here to learn about how the Sudman family turned their loss into a way to save children's lives.

3) Creativity video Here's a 2 minute video that shows why creativity takes time.

 

4) 6 Things Your Dreams Can Tell You About Your Health

This article shows ways that your dreams may help you discover things about your physical health.

Special Edition IV: If Our Nation Is Suffering from PTSD, Are Courage & Vulnerability Necessary to Heal?

Thought for the Day: It is taking all my energy to stay focused on relaying my impressions from my trip to Washington DC last week with Moms Demand Action. I am finding myself working double time to keep up with my responsibilities as a psychologist, tweet, post & respond to comments on my facebook page from some people who genuinely believe that more guns are the solution to the problem. However, I think that my experiences may help people understand why it is important to keep the lines of communication open to all sides of this important dilemma. I wanted to go to DC to express my concern that our nation is struggling with post traumatic stress & fears related to multiple traumas since 9/11 which include attacks like Sandy Hook. My observations from Washington combined with my training as a psychologist & specialist dealing with trauma are intertwining in this post as I grapple with ways to help mend the society from PTSD. Bear with me as I share the details from my trip & reach some conclusions that may shed some light on both the problem & some solutions. Winston Churchill a leader who helped the world through traumatic times as well may help with his thoughts on courage.

Last Wednesday morning, bright & early at 6:45 AM,  I joined the other participants of Moms Take the Hill. I checked out of the hotel, but left my belongings there for the day. We were instructed to travel light, since we would be going through security checks multiple times during the day. Food was not allowed through some of the checkpoints, so I had coffee & a light breakfast in the lobby before getting on the bus. I sat next to a 14 year old girl who had come with her mother & sister from Dallas TX. We talked about her fears when she heard about the tragedy in Newtown. I encouraged her to tell her elected officials how she felt & what she wanted to feel safe. I also commended her for spending part of her spring vacation to join this event. We all applauded when the Team of 26 organizer Monte Frank, Newtown resident & his teenage daughter joined us on the bus. They had arrived in DC the day before after biking from Newtown to DC in conjunction with today's event.

After going through two security checks, we were directed to the Eisenhower Executive Office Building next to the White House for a White House Policy Press briefing. We were greeted by Evan Ryan, Assistant to the Vice President fro Public Engagement, Sarah Bianchi, Director of Economic & Domestic Policy Office of the Vice President & Valerie Jarrett, Senior Adviser to the President among others. They let us know how important our support is even to those who support sensible changes to the gun laws in this country. They told us they had not seen a movement like this before & were hopeful that our support was going to get action quickly. However, they also let us know that the opponents are assuming that the "Newtown effect" will disappear. We learned that the gun lobby is very actively pressuring Congress. The senators & congressmen who are standing up for change are being inundated with threats & intimidation. Although over 90% of Americans want changes to our gun laws, the gun lobby, (despite the fact that many of their members do not support them on this issue) a very vocal well organized minority group, with huge financial resources is fighting relentlessly to block any changes in gun laws. Their efforts & intimidation are making it hard for our officials to vote where their common sense & conscience would lead them. The staffers proudly announced that the Violence Against Women Act passed last week after a year of efforts in congress. Lots of pictures were taken with strings of paper dolls with each string of 8 dolls representing the 8 children who are shot & killed every day in America.

After the briefing, we took shuttle buses to Capitol Hill & went through additional security checks before meeting with our senators & congressmen. There were 6 people in my group, 5 were from CT. Our leader who would be helping us to get from meeting to meeting in a timely fashion was from Virginia. We were scheduled to meet with both of our state senators & three congressmen. A last minute change made it possible to meet with both Senators Blumenthal & Courtney together (see photo on right). Since they & the congressmen from CT are supportive of gun sense, our job was to thank them for their efforts & find out what they need from us. In addition, we would be sharing our stories with them. We would get a chance to voice our concerns about the rise in gun violence & our suggestions. Our senators & congressmen were thoughtful, supportive & listened intently to what we had to say. They appreciated our being there & encouraged us to speak with friends & family across the country about these issues. They asked us to ask everyone we know, gun owners & non-gun owners, to speak up & let their senators & congressmen know that they want stricter gun controls.

Our meeting with Representative Jim Hines had an interesting twist. He shared the fact that he is a sportsman who enjoys hunting but he is also a father who knows the time has come for greater restrictions. He said he always tries to see the issue from both sides. Although he disagrees with the gun advocates, he believes that they are fearful & fighting for safety. By recognizing that they are coming from a place of fear he hopes to keep the dialogue open. He said he thought that gun trafficking laws, mandatory background checks & increased school safety would pass. However, he feared that the ban on semi-automatic weapons & high capacity munitions would not. After we left the meeting, we wondered if we should have been more adamant that the ban on semi-automatic weapons being crucial to any significant change to deter gun violence in America. In light of Harry Reid's announcement this week that he will not include the ban of semi-automatic weapons in the bill, it appears that Representative Hines was trying to warn us.

We were in for a treat on our way to the press conference. Our group was accompanied by a senate staffer through a second level of security & boarded the underground transit reserved for elected officials. It took us directly to the US Capitol Visitor Center. The highlight of the day. for me was standing behind the speakers for the hour long press conference. During Nancy Pelosi's speach, she turned around & read a button I was wearing which said: "Protect Children, Not Guns." After the press conference I was able to go up to her & shake her hand. I thanked her for all she was doing to help keep our children safe. The energy & dedication of these courageous women who spoke was inspiring. To stand directly behind Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Carolyn McCarthy, Elizabeth Esty & Shannon Watts was amazing. They made it clear that they will not falter & will continue the battle for sensible changes no matter how long it takes.

Our female congresswomen's courage to "mend & befriend" as opposed to "fight or flight" (see my Thursday's Psychological Trivia Answer) in the face of danger & confront our vulnerability (See today's FF Friday's Fabulous Finds #3) make it imperative that we have women, and men (Like Winston Churchill accept these parts of themselves), in Washington. These traits will help them stand up to the intense heat of the gun lobby.  Gun advocates response to feeling vulnerable is try to numb their feelings of vulnerability, to fight, assume that they have "the only answer" & close their minds to an array of possible solutions which may not be foolproof, but will help make things better.  Being able to accept vulnerability & imperfection are important steps towards creating a safer environment. To do their job & keep focusing on solutions to the problems, our leaders must see all the shades of grey. As I post here & on facebook, I have felt the angry relentless venom that fear & misinformation can ignite. I will continue to try to keep the dialogue open & hope that you will join me & those who want to make sensible changes to help bridge the gap. The barriers & multiple security checks at the White House & on Capitol Hill reflect the actions that our nation is forced to take in light of the rise in violence & fear since 9/11.  Dr. Brene Brown describes this as symptomatic of PTSD on a national level & suggests that we have a "scarcity culture" of fear & feelings of scarcity since 9/11. We must all work to mend from the impact traumatic violence is taking on our society. I believe women will lead the way in the healing process.

Special Edition Part III: Are WE Letting a Bully Hijack Our Democracy?

Thought for the Day: As I told you yesterday, I will be changing the format this week & special reports on my visit to Washington DC. Two things impacted on me & I will therefore combine them in this post. I won't be sharing pictures of my visit as I first intended. Events are happening so rapidly that my photos seem unimportant. The first thing that happened was a response to a post I made yesterday on facebook with a link to yesterday's special edition). I had an unsettling string of comments that I'd like to share. The comments  came from a young man, L.C., from Montana, who opened a discussion with me by saying: 

        "I'm pretty sure you ignorant if you think that you can't protect 2nd amendment rights and children at the same time."

         I ignored his questioning my intelligence & welcomed the opportunity to engage him in a discussion by responding that: " I have no problem with the 2nd amendment, just want to add sensible controls like universal background checks & a ban on semi-automatic assault weapons which are necessary for war, not for sport or on our streets. We register our cars so that we know who owns the car if it is involved in a fatal accident. Carrying a weapon requires responsibility & accountability by all owners." 

         L.C. wrote back:  "Look at my picture that we took for prom all of us holding weapons several semi auto almost non of them registered. Why? because its a way of life in Montana and in our nation. We are not criminals but God help anyone who comes after us." Then he added: "And I agree on the responsibility and accountability aspect."

          I responded that: "I am saddened to think that you feel the need to go to a prom holding a weapon. Accidents can happen, feelings can get hot & having a gun handy is not the best way to resolve problems at a dance. On Sat. a father shot his 10 month old son while handling a semi-automatic gun in a hotel room with his wife & 2 other children. It was an accident, that did not have to happen. I don't think that owning a gun makes someone a criminal, but there are people who should not be allowed to own a firearm & the increase in violence against innocent children & adults must be curtailed. What harm would it cause to have guns registered like cars or to have insurance like on cars to hold people accountable?"

          L.C. has not responded back to me yet, however, the discussion raises serious questions about what children & young adults are being taught about guns. Do we want our teenagers taking guns of any kind, registered or not, to a prom? Is it not bad enough that teens are drinking & driving after proms & ending up dying in car accidents? Mothers Against Drunk Driving has made a huge difference in the laws surrounding drinking & driving, but we must do the same with gun violence in our country.

            This interchange brings me back to my meetings & experiences in Washington DC. The young man who commented on my facebook page is just one example of a victim of misinformation being transmitted by our nation's worst bully. Ironically, I went to Washington as a psychologist seeing a direct connection between our schools' inability to contend with the rise in bullying among our children & the rise in violent attacks by students who have often been targets of bullying. As I listened to the advocates of gun sense, I began to see the parallel process that is occurring in Congress.

           The gun lobby which represents a small minority (3-4 million members which may be inflated by the organizers) (& over 70% of it's members support more gun control) (U.S. adult population is 237,744,633) is a bully using all it's financial resources to intimidate our elected officials to support the gun industry's vested financial interests. They use scare tactics & hide behind the 2nd amendment to make sure they can continue to produce & profit from the manufacture of weapons of war. They want to sell guns to whomever they can & do not care whose hands the guns end up in, which is why they do not want paper records of transactions. They have procured a ban on research that looks at the impact of gun violence on our society. They do not want anyone to know the psychological impact that gun violence has on our society's mental health. It would be bad for sales. 

          Our elected officials are afraid to vote according to their conscience because they are intimidated by these bullies. Polls show that over 90% of Americans support stricter gun control laws. As a psychologist, concerned about the impact of bullying & the difficulty children have to be more than a passive onlooker, I am concerned that we are guilty of supporting the bullies by not taking action & speaking up. Our senators & congressmen are being bullied (& fear they will lose financial contributions from the lobby) & we, by not speaking up, are making it harder for them to stand up to the powerful well oiled machine of the gun lobby. 

            Yesterday, I also learned that Senate Minority leader, Harry Reid, is refusing to bring the ban on semi-automatic weapons & ammo to a vote on the Senate floor with the other pieces of legislation that would help curb gun violence. In my mind, if we want to protect our children from the kind of weapons that turned an elementary school into an instantaneous killing field, limits on semi-automatic weapons & high powered multiple round munitions is key. Is the senate being bullied into cutting this out of the legislation? In Newtown, the 11 seconds that it took to reload the weapon saved 11 children's lives. The photo of the children killed in Newtown above reminds us that: "Remembering is Good. Taking Action is Better!" If you want changes & feel this is important, now is the time to stand up to the bullies in Washington & let your elected officials know that enough is enough.

            Don't let the bullies win. Here's a copy of an e-mail from the founder of Moms Demand Action with easy ways to let your elected officials know how you feel:

Hello Moms Demand Action members,

The Assault Weapons Ban is supported by more than a dozen Senate Democrats, the White House, and organizations for safer gun laws. So why is Sen. Reid waffling on whether to bring it to the floor as a bill?

Fast tweet Congress
 

Call Sen. Majority Leader Harry Reid NOW at 202-224-3542 or Tweet him - @senatorreid

Go to our Fast-Tweet page so you can tweet your lawmakers from the website in less than a minute.

It will just take a minute and is a great way to let your representatives know this issue isn’t going away! Share this email with a friend and ask for their support!

Warmly,
Shannon Watts, Founder
Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense In America

Motivational Mondays: Why Shrinks Must Help Shrink Gun Violence

Thought for the Day: I have spent my entire adult life working as a clinical psychologist changing lives & helping make a difference in the world. A few years ago, I decided that I needed to help more people by writing a self help book that would teach techniques I developed to help people accomplish their dreams. Little did I know that this decision would lead to my involvement in nonpartisan political activism & travel to Washington DC to advocate for sensible changes in gun control laws. Here's a brief description of my transformation into what Shannon Watts, the founder of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense called an accidental activist. It also helps explain why I believe that therapists should become "Shrinks 4 Shrinking Gun Violence." This post will be longer than most & will lead to some additional posts this week to cover all that I experienced & learned in DC, so please stay tuned.

Intentionally,  I always kept my personal opinions & political views to my self & out of the realm of therapy. My role has been to help clients discover their own solutions regardless of their beliefs or political persuasion. I teach people to resolve conflicts & deal with emotions, including anger, in healthy ways. As I have become involved in book promotion & supporting nonprofit organizations using social media, I have become more vocal online.

Those of you who have been following me on twitter (@WakeUpDreamNow), facebook (facebook.com/TheWakeUpAndDreamChallenge) & here on my blog, know that I have been speaking up about bullying in general & as symptomatic of our society & more recently about gun violence. This has occurred due to my expertise from working with trauma victims. The Sandy Hook tragedy led to several blog posts, radio appearances, writing a free downloadable e-book, When Bad Things Happen to Children with my daughter, & attending a march in Hartford on Valentine's Day 2013. Therefore, when I learned that Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense was organizing a day in DC, "Moms Take the Hill, March 13. 2013," & that they would make appointments for all participants with their senators & congressmen, I felt I had a responsibility to make the trip & let my voice be heard in DC.

The Friday before the event I listened to a live phone orientation.  In the orientation, they encouraged all participants to be prepared to tell their story: Why did you sign up to come to DC? What changes do you hope to see in gun control? They did not expect me to be an expert on the legislative process going on in DC, just to voice my thoughts on why change is needed & any ideas that I have about what will help.

Here's what I was prepared to tell my elected representatives: I am a mother, grandmother, psychologist, & author. I am here for my children, grandchildren & the tens to hundreds of thousands of clients & readers that I have helped & will continue to help deal with death, trauma, bullying & life challenges. I have dedicated my life to helping people find solutions to their problems & reach for their dreams & I fear that children's & adults lives & dreams are being destroyed with each additional violent tragedy.

I am here out of concern for the American society that is being traumatized by gun violence daily & at times becoming numb to the consequences. I am not only concerned for the children who witnessed the event or the families who lost a loved one from gun violence who will work throughout their lives to cope with these senseless tragedies, but I am also worried about the children who witnessed the traumatic events on TV across the country who feel helpless & are scared that harm will come to them, too.

I am here for the young adults who said to me cavalierly in the days following Sandy Hook, that they were "fine," since they, "have lived through Columbine & 9/11 & are used to tragedies." When I asked them about what it was like for them when they experienced those events as children, they began to cry. As they felt the pain they had buried for years, they admitted to themselves & me that they simply were trying not to let their feelings get to them. I am here for the adults in their 30's who said, "I am fine, I don't have any children, but my mother in California is a retired teacher has been crying all week. How can I help her?" I am here for the women who came to work in Stamford & across the nation after Sandy Hook, who could not stop crying even though they did not know anyone personally who was harmed by the tragedy. They did not understand why the events are still impacting them so heavily. I know how to help people work on these emotions, but I & all my colleagues across the nation do not have the resources to reach a nation traumatized by multiple traumatic events. Together, we must find ways to reduce the violence in our nation.

I am here because, although I am trained to help people deal with trauma & will continue to do so, I see the insidious rise in tragedies due to gun violence as something that is preventible. We cannot stop hurricanes from happening, but we can prepare people to take better precautions & protect themselves better. We may not be able to stop all gun violence, but we can try to reduce it by advocating for more sensible laws. As healers psychologists, social workers, psychiatrists & other people in the field of mental health, if we allow ourselves to become numb, feel helpless to stop the violence & fail to speak up, we are shirking our duty to advocate for the mental health of our society.

Before I left home, I made copies of my e-book, a few of my blog posts, including the comments that people posted on this blog & on facebook stating what they wanted the leaders in DC to know about their feelings about gun laws. I also spent time with my grandchildren in Boston making paper doll chains. The 8 dolls in each chain represent 8 children who are killed every day in the USA from gun violence. I knew that I would have 4 meetings with senators & congressmen in DC. I also knew that I would be attending a press conference in which Dianne Feinstein was one of the slated speakers. Over the week, I will add a additional posts to my Tuesday's Psychological Trivia & in place of What If? Wednesdays to tell you about what I learned in DC, my experiences there & some common sense solutions that I hope our nation will begin to implement. Please share your thoughts & feelings & come back to hear more of what you can do to help shrink the gun violence in our nation.

Dr. Lavi, with Moms Demand Action with Senators Blumenthal & Murphy

Here's a preview of one of my visits with Connecticut Senators Blumenthal &  Murphy with the paper dolls we gave to them to symbolize why we must take action.