Wednesday's What's Your #WW Wake Up Wednesday Moment?

Thought for the Day: This blog and my social media efforts have always been designed to be a resource for my readers as they move towards their dreams. I have tried to inspire you & expose you to ways to overcome all obstacles in your way. However, I also want this to be a forum where you can help one another to reach for and attain your dreams. I know there are an amazing group of parents, teachers, authors, therapists, artists, musicians and people from many more walks of life following this blog, my facebook fan page & twitter feeds. I want to help facilitate a supportive community where you can help one another reach for your dreams.  So today, I am turning to you. In families, it often helps to have everyone share their highs and lows of the day so that they can support one another through the good and bad moments of their lives.

So today, I'd like you to share your dream highs and lows or what I'm calling your Wake Up Moments. What has been your greatest accomplishment of the week and what has been the biggest obstacle to achieving your dreams? I know it may be hard at first to share your wake up moments, so I will start.

My Wake Up Moments for the last week or so made me decide to try this kind of blog post. My high was connected to my low which is often the case. It was a huge high to watch the downloads of my book happening a little over a week ago and see my book reach #1 on two categories on Amazon Kindle's Best Seller List. However, it also brought an unexpected wake up moment.

I realized that although I have tens of thousands of fans and followers across the globe on Google +, facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and other social media sites; I have failed to build a virtual community where my fans and followers feel comfortable helping each other along their journey towards their dreams. I spoke with my team of interns about my dilemma.

Here's what I propose, a new kind of post where your needs, not my inspirational thoughts & lessons, become central to the post. In order to do that I need to set some simple ground rules to insure that this community feels safe enough to share your highs and lows.

So here are some guidelines:
1) Avoid making judgements of other people's life choices, 2) all comments should be supportive & constructive, 3) feel free to share advice based on your experiences recognizing that they may or may not be accepted by other readers, 4) treat all comments with respect; 5) no dream is too big or too small to share; 6) all accomplishments will be encouraged; and 7) all challenges will be met with constructive supportive suggestions.

With those guidelines in mind, what were your wake up moments this week? How can we help you or support your endeavors? If you are an author & are giving a talk or promotion, please share it here. If you are a parent concerned about your child's return to school and wondering how to bolster their self confidence, ask a question. If you are out of work and have an interview or a new job offer, let us know and we will support your preparations for the interview. If you downloaded my book recently and have questions or accomplishments you'd like to share, please do. Your question may help another person who is dealing with a similar question or issue.

Let me know what you think & have a Wonderful Wednesday!

Throwback Tuesday: Every Expert Was Once A Beginner

Photo from Verses & Inspiration on Facebook

In honor of Father's Day last Sunday, I am reposting this article. Fathers are often the ones who help their kids get up, dust their pants off & carry on when they fall.

Thought for the Day: As parents we have all watched, supported, & agonized over the struggles of our children as they learn new skills, but do we give ourselves the same kind of support when we need to change & develop new skill sets? 

The picture above & the accompanying statement cannot help but strike a chord with every mother (and father) who sees it. Who among us has not helped a child overcome the disappointment of striking out on the baseball field, missing a goal or losing a championship game? How often have we anxiously watched when one of our children has fallen on stage during a ballet recital or forgotten a line in a class play, knowing we will need to reassure them to get back on stage the next night?  As we wipe our teens' tears when they fail their 1st driving test or don't get into their 1st choice for college.

In all these situations we remind our children that they are just beginners & that there will be more opportunities ahead. We tell them that, "practice makes perfect." We let them know that "failures make you stronger" & that "mistakes are part of the learning process." These are not just platitudes although we have all heard them or variations of them growing up. As parents, we mean the words & want to inspire our children to work hard at whatever they are learning. We repeat these words hoping that they will continue working at the skills until they achieve competency. Once they become competent, if they desire to keep striving, they will be able to reach expertise.

Irene Piatrowski

Irene Piatowski 2012

Unfortunately, many of us are not as patient with ourselves when we need to learn new skills as adults. Somehow we seem to assume that adults should be able to succeed right away. Today, I read a Huffington Post article by Penka Skachkova
about Irene Piotrowsky, Canadian champion on track & field & world record setter from 1963 to 1973. I remembered her last name since is similar to that of a noted psychologist (Piatrofsky) who developed a scoring system for the Rorschach Test, but I did not remember her life story. She had come to Canada as a homeless war refugee & overcame multiple challenges to reach the Olympics. After the Olympics she welcomed obstacles & said, "The good thing about obstacles is that when you bump onto them, they keep you from falling down." Even though at age 71 she has come upon hard times, facing cancer & eviction from her apartment in Los Angeles, Piotrowski remains inspirational & optimistic.  In the Huffington Post article, they report that  she believes "her current difficulties are temporary... "I'll never give up," she said. "Everything in the end will be okay.""  She is a true wake up dreamer who plans to found a humanitarian organization she calls the World Peace and Goodwill Campaign. She says, "You can't sit like a bump on a log & just dream,,,,Get up, dust yourself off, & start all over again. Take the skills you have & go & improve them, make them better."

When you become discouraged as you embark on a new job or experience in life, I hope that you will find a way to call upon your inner "dream parent," like Irene Piatrowski does, & give yourself the kind of encouragement you would give to your child or a friend when they struggle as a beginner in a new endeavor.  Adults can be beginners, too. Life throws multiple obstacles in our way. You cannot become an expert without falling down, making & learning from mistakes.

I'd love to hear from you about situations when you have been a beginner & felt discouraged. How have you encouraged yourself? Who else has helped you get up when you have fallen or tripped over an obstacle?

Are You the Writer of Your Life? Or Do You Let Circumstances take Charge?

Photo from Fungole on Google+

Thought for the Day: Are you the writer of your life? Or do you let circumstances take charge? We may not have control of all the circumstances that confront us in life, but we do have control over how we react to the circumstances.

Today I am doing some work for Cigna EAP, helping a corporation with a layoff. It is not an easy job, but I help out whenever I can at what are called 'critical incidents.' These incidents include things like helping employees after bank robberies, the death of an employee or like today, a lay off. I am here to help people who want to speak with a psychologist to process the gamut of emotions that arise when a layoff occurs.

Most people do not know about the consideration that can go into the process of a layoff. When a company takes the time & spends the necessary resources to do all they can to help their employees with the impact of a layoff, especially during these difficult financial times, it is impressive. I try to take these assignments, since I know that i can help large numbers of people in a short span of time & see this as preventative medicine. I am here for the managers helping to prepare them for the difficult but necessary task of letting colleagues go. Believe me, they do not do this with ease. Often they come in to talk about their discomfort. In addition to helping the people whose lives are about to be changed often suddenly & drastically, I am here to help with the fears & fall out associated with a layoff, for those who are remaining at the company. It is impossible to survive a layoff without wondering, "Will I be next in line?'

Yesterday, while thinking about the work I would be doing today, I was saw the photo by Fungole at the top of this post on Google+. The message struck a chord for me. "You are the writer of your life." When confronted with a layoff, most people do not feel like the writers of their lives. They feel more like characters in a movie scripted by the corporation. Although feelings of anger, shock, sadness & helplessness are all part of the normal reaction to the loss of a job, they are still the writers of their lives. How people deal with the challenges in life dictate the outcomes.

In other posts I have related stories of how people have overcome all kinds of adversity. Many of the organizations featured in my book were founded by people at challenging moments in their lives. They found creative ways to  help people overcome challenges. (How a Motorcycle Accident & a Fire Rekindled a Dream, Thriving on Stormy & Sunny Days, Is An Illness or Disability Stopping You From Dreaming?, When Life Gives You Lemons, Open a Lemonade Stand) If you are feeling down & question whether you are still the author of your life, take a moment & find ways to take back the pen & start writing the next chapter of your life. You may want to take a look at some of my past posts to see how others have turned negative situations into opportunities, often with very few financial resources.

If you are challenged & discouraged & would like some help finding ways to take charge of your life story, feel free to post your questions or comments. I will reply to all comments.

Part I: Impossible Equals "!'m Possible." Audrey Hepburn, Michael J. Fox & Me

Thought for the Day: I came across the above quote by Audrey Hepburn this morning: "Nothing is impossible. The word itself says, I'm possible." It's a quote that inspires a Florida teen, Conor Boss, who is the 1st legally blind Miss Florida USA contestant. The teenager's story is certainly inspiring, but the quote made me curious about Audrey Hepburn's life.  Then I saw a picture from Back to the Future on Facebook showing today as the "future" date Michael J Fox's character, Marty McFly, wanted to visit. It made me think about his challenges. He has dealt gracefully in his battle with Parkinson's Disease & used his notoriety to found the Michael J. Fox Foundation to raise awareness & funds for research. My own challenges seem miniscule compared to Parkinson's, but Audrey Hepburn's quote resonates with me & will be one that will always inspire me. When things seem impossible to you, what helps you keep going?

      When I researched Audrey Hepburn's life, I realized how little I know about her. I loved her in Gigi & Breakfast at Tifany's. I vaguely knew that she had been from an aristocratic family. Her image on stage & film lead me to believe that her life must have been charmed. I learned that her mother was a divorced Duchess with two children before she married Audrey's father, a British banker. Despite their wealth, her parents fought a great deal over money. Audrey spent much of her time with nannies & her 2 step brothers. At the tender age of 5, Audrey was sent to boarding school. During the Nazi occupation of Holland, sixteen year old Audrey worked as a volunteer in a hospital & helped the underground. During the war to fight hunger pains, Audrey ate tulip bulbs & tried to make bread from grass. Throughout her career, she was a philanthropist who worked tirelessly for UNICEF & other humanitarian causes. Although she only appeared in 27 films, she is one of the most well-know actresses of all times. Her outstanding stage presence & awards as an actress portrayed an outgoing confident image, but Audrey was introverted & did not feel qualified as an actress, dancer or singer.  She worked hard to succeed at her dreams.

     Michael J. Fox on the other hand is someone everyone watched grow & evolve as a person & performer. First as a teenage actor in the TV program, Family Ties, then in the Back to the Future films, he grew up before our eyes. His public announcement that he had Parkinson's Disease in 1991 at age 30, was felt by fans around the world. Seeing the photo on Facebook which showed today as the day his character, Marty McFly, in Back to the Future wanted to visit made me wonder if he really would have wanted to have known his future back then. (It turns out that the real date he wanted to travel to was in 2015, but the question remains appropriate.)

     If we knew that a physical challenge was in our future, would we want to know? Would we behave differently? I've never met Michael J. Fox, but I believe he is a what I call a 'Wake up' dreamer, someone who has been living his dreams every day of his life.  He would not have done anything differently, just kept on doing what others might have seen as impossible, like Audrey Hepburn. Even as he struggles daily with Parkinson's he is living proof that he "is possible." He continues to act, direct, travel & research happiness.

    As I stretch my reach as a psychologist by writing a book & reaching out to share my knowledge of positive psychology with a broader audience, there have been multiple hurdles in my way. As I climb over the hurdles, I must admit doubts arise, but something keeps me believing that where there's a dream there's a way. This summer,  I am on the verge of passing many of the hurdles. I will be announcing many new accomplishments in the next couple of weeks that will show how I have worked around all the challenges.  So stay tuned to see how impossible becomes possible!

Who has inspired you to believe that your dreams are possible? I'd love to hear how they have helped you to tell yourself "I'm possible," even when you feel challenged.

You Don't Have to Be Pollyanna or Wear Rose Colored Glasses to Be a Dreamer

Ultimate Optimist Glasses by Laurinjade from Photobucket

Life through ROSE colored glasses by Mamaaunte (Photobucket)

Thought for the Day: A recent comment on an earlier blog made me reflect on whether people are reading my blog & assuming that I must be wearing rose colored glasses. My passion to encourage people to connect with & work towards their dreams may make some people think I am out of touch with the negative realities of life & our world. The truth is that I am aware of the harsh realities we face today. However, I believe that we all can do something about these challenges if we take action. I hope others will share their negative experiences & how they overcame them or your reactions to this Anonymous comment. I welcome all comments & see them as opportunities to open tough discussions & search for creative solutions to these & other problems we all face.

The anonymous comments came to a previous post:  Part IV: Help Me Start A Gratitude Project Deep In the Heart of Texas. Here's what they wrote:
     I am sorry that I cannot make your dream to find everything in our past wonderful.. I could never get in to see my counselor, whoever she was. i wanted to graduate at 16, but it seems every one stood in my way. I had to get out of school, & get out on my own, & still no one helped me with anything. The Jewish girls made up awful lies about me, and the mothers in B'nai Brith made up worse ones, just because i was sexy, not promiscuous, and they felt threatened by me. I was accused, behind my back, because no one had the strength to confront me, of horrible things the other girls did. Why didn't anyone ask me if they were true, & why were those mothers so willing to believe it was the Shicksa who had done the deeds, & not the Jewish girls? Bellaire was horrible & I was so glad to get out of there. i wanted a good education, because my mom said they could take away your house, your money & your jewels, but they could never take away your ind. It seems that most of those in Bellaire, attempted just that. When I said I wanted to be a doctor, I was ridiculed, then finally told that I would never have the money to do it. Thanks! for that dream busted!! I was told the only thing I could do was secretary, nurse, or teacher. Thanks Again!! for that dream busted, as none of those things were the least bit interesting. And no one would help me find a way to get a college degree. Well, I have been successful in my own way. I have been a community activist, discovered unknown species, wrote deed restrictions & saved a town from demolition, was on TV & in the news several times, all in spite of the "Fine" education I got at Bellaire. it was not a nice experience. I survived it in spite of the jealousy & hostility. there was not one school counselor who did a thing to help me, nor any teachers, save for Mrs. DuPont & Mrs. Finch.

 

Rose Colored Glasses By jjh4 (Photobucket)

Unfortunately, Anonymous was bullied & discriminated against in my high school. I remember the cattiness & feelings of not being part of some of the cliques that exist in all schools. I was not & am not blind to discrimination & prejudice (see recent series of posts on bullying: Part I,  Part II,  Part III, &  Part IV), but I do believe that we can help make changes in this world if we allow ourselves to dream, imagine & work to make a difference.
Here's my response to Anonymous' comments:
  
     Dear Anonymous, Thank you for sharing your experiences. I am sorry to hear that for you, Bellaire was so negative. I wish you had been fortunate enough to have had Ms Edwards as a guidance counselor. I worked in her office for 2 years & know she tried to encourage everyone to go to college & helped them get scholarships. As one of 4 children in a single parent family, I would not have been able to follow my dreams without financial aid. High School was not all wonderful & being a teenager had it's challenges. I was not "in with the in crowd," but found people who did not care about money & status. Prejudice & ignorance go hand in hand & it occurs among people from all religions, races & ethnic backgrounds. I, for one, do what I can to educate & advocate for tolerance & respect of all people. It sounds like you overcame the adversity & have accomplished many of your dreams. It is never too late to change the end of your story & start working on dreams that you would still like to accomplish.