Throwback Wednesday's Words of Wisdom: Denis Waitley & Dr. Lavi on Life Choices

*photo by Mike Baird

Thought for the Day:  Since I am having some computer problems, I decided to do a Throwback Wednesday to post from last June. I hope you like it & have a great day!

"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or the responsibility for changing them.” Denis Waitley

"There is one more choice in life, even if we accept the conditions as they exist, we can change how we handle them." Dr. Barbara Lavi

I agree with Denis Waitley's quote. He is a bestselling author, keynote lecturer & productivity consultant on high performance human achievement. It is surely is an inspiring call to action. It suggests that as humans, we have the choice to accept the way life is or push ourselves to change the conditions if we do not like them. Although I agree with Waitley, I would take it one step further. His take feels a bit like the photo above. If you accept the conditions as they exist, it may feel as if there are only exit signs & no real choices.

I'd like to offer an additional option. Even if we accept that conditions as they exist, we can change how we handle them. In doing so, we may find alternative ways to alter them that we might not see if we simply accepted them. We don't have to just accept & tolerate them. We can make fun of them, protest against them or search for others who want to change them.  Often when people assume that the conditions are too difficult to change they simply give up & do not take steps to even try. Sharing responsibility sometimes makes it easier to dare to take action.

What conditions do you accept as they exist because you feel you are unable to take on the responsibility to change them on your own?  What helps you take action when you feel that way?


*Photo Credit
photo by Mike Baird, bairdphotos.com

http://www.flickr.com/photos/marfis75/8031936764/

creative commons by marfis75

Tuesday's Psychology Trivia: Are Human Beings Selfish or Cooperative by Nature?

Are Human Beings                   Selfish...









                                             or cooperative by nature?


Thought for the Day: Yesterday, I talked about superheroes & how to change the world. Today, Tuesday's Psychology Trivia Question asks whether people are selfish or cooperative by nature. What do you think? With so much strife, crime & greed in the news, do you think human beings are innately selfish? When given the choice to act in one's own interest or to help others, which do people choose? Come back on Thursday for the answer.


Both amazing Illustrations By Frits
hikingartist.com
 Bottled Up
Photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/hikingartist/5727319828/">HikingArtist.com</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/">cc</a>

Ladder Photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/hikingartist/5727412964/">HikingArtist.com</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/">cc</a>

Motivational Mondays: Do You Have What It Takes To Become a Superhero?

*Photo Credit

Thought for the Day: This weekend I was fortunate to overhear a conversation between three teenage boys. They were discussing the benefits of having different super powers. They were trying to decide which super power was the most beneficial. The influx of movies about super heroes like, Superman, Man of Steel, The Amazing Spiderman & Iron Man 3, prompted the discussion. If you could choose any super power, what would it be? The question prompted me to think about what I would want & I realized I already had created my "super power," but I need your help to make it work!

Personally, the concept of having endless physical strength or the ability to fly or climb tall buildings does little for me, although I must admit that being able to fly without paying the cost of airfare or having to wait at airports is appealing! The ability to make a difference in the world to help others is  what makes a superhero in my eyes. When I wrote my book, helping others accomplish their dreams, from wildest dreams to the simplest ones, was my objective. Having discovered & created techniques that enabled people to reach their dreams while working as a psychologist was what motivated me to write & self publish my book, The Wake Up and Dream Challenge.

After I thought I had completed the book, I realized that I wanted to do more. That was when I decided to feature 21 nonprofit organizations in the book that help people accomplish their dreams. These organizations & their founders are real superheroes. They do things like rehabilitate wounded warriors, Higher Ground, rebuild communities after hurricanes & other disasters, New York Says Thank You, fight prejudice, Eliminate Prejudice & teach blind athletes to compete in judo, the Blind Judo Foundation, to name just a few.  Their stories offer examples of ways to help people accomplish their dreams at any age regardless of their physical, emotional or financial handicaps.

If you want, you too can become a superhero, you can. By purchasing the book you can help one of these organizations help others while learning how to accomplish your own dreams.  I hope you will take the time to read about the nonprofit organizations on my website before purchasing a copy of the book on Amazon.com. Then, when you purchase a copy you can donate half of the profits to a specific nonprofit & become a superhero. Thanks in advance for taking the time & for your help!


* Photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/rob_react/6028293726/">Rob React</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>

Sunday's Comic Strips: Charlie Brown's Take On "One Day At A Time"

*Photo credit

Thought for the Day: I doubt that Alcoholics Anonymous developed the concept of "One Day at a Time" with Charlie Brown's philosophy in mind, but I like the way it makes fun of the human tendency to worry & takes it to a different level. As a psychologist, I help people confront their anxiety & worries every day. I usually advise people to skip the worry & dread & focus on constructive problem solving tasks to address their concerns. This week, in my private practice,  I helped some of my highly creative clients understand & handle their anxiety. Some creatives obsess about all the possible negative outcomes to interpret & predict the events in their lives. This type of creative process is a double edged sword. On the one hand, it can lead to amazing ideas for creative writing. However, it can also lead to isolation, increased anxiety & excessive worry when taken too literally. Other creative clients who look at life through a comic lens are able to find a way to exaggerate & laugh at all the their situations. Instead of worrying about all the negative possibilities, laughter makes their worries smaller & more manageable. Charles Schultz was a master at making fun of our human insecurities.  His legacy continues to help us laugh at ourselves. Have a great Sunday!


*Photo from
http-/www.signs-unique.co.uk/ive-developed-a-new-philosophy-charlie-brown-funny-aluminium-sign-ga-8846-p.asp   Charles Schulz

Saturday's Songs for the Soul: Brad Paisley Singing "He Didn't Have to Be"

Thought for Today:  Tomorrow is  Father's Day. Often we neglect the step-dads who filled in for their step-children day in, day out as the dad they didn't have to be. They are like the beautiful shining light in the above photo. Many children of divorce or who's fathers have passed away are afraid that it is disloyal to their "biological" fathers to give them any love, respect or gratitude. Often they don't seem to notice or appreciate that constant light they have received from their step-fathers until they are grown & have children of their own. I decided to make this e-card & play a song for them.

#FF Fri's Fab Finds: 3 Yr Old & Teen Heroes, Autism-Friendly Haircuts, Championing Disabilities, & A Medical Miracle

Thought for the Day: I don't know about you, but I am very glad today is Friday. It is amazing how much I rely on my computer to get things done. On Wednesday, my computer screen went blank. It had been acting up, but it's an older Mac & seems to keep on running despite it's quirkiness. This time I had a hunch that the charger had stopped working. Luckily, I had completed my Wednesdays Words of Wisdom on fatherhood before it died. I had a busy day with clients but during my only break, I was looking forward to getting some exercise. Tuesday night I arrived at my health club after work only to find that they were closed due to a power outage. I had been in New York City on Monday, so I was not a happy camper when I realized I had to go get my computer checked out instead. I won't go into the details, but last night after a trip to the library & some work on a borrowed computer,  I was finally able to get back onto my computer.

My new team of interns really saved the day! Yesterday I edited & posted a wonderful guest post by Claire Freeman looking at the Sandy Hook Elementary School Tragedy from a different perspective. Last night, I received an e-mail from another new intern, Steph Jacovino, who has been helping find great articles for Friday's Fabulous Finds. This was her second week helping out & she aced the task! All but one of the finds are thanks to her work. I had a couple more, but will post them next week. You will be hearing more about my Dream Team of interns soon! I am so fortunate to have them helping me. Here are this week's finds:

Jameson Kessler, 3-Year-Old Indiana Boy, Donates Bone Marrow to Sister Samantha, 1, To Save Her Life The Huffington Post By Ron Dicker A 3 year old boy from Indiana volunteered to donate bone marrow to save his 1-year-old sister’s life. This boy, who calls himself, “Marrow Man,” says he is “going to make her feel better, & then I’m going to save her when she’s in trouble.” This young boy is a true superhero. (Video & text)

Nicole Kelly Facebook

Nicole Kelly, Born with One Arm, Wins Miss Iowa By Eliza Murphy ABC News Nicole Kelly is certainly an inspiration. She was crowed the 72nd titleholder of Miss Iowa, & she did it all with only one arm. This January, she will compete for the title of Miss America. To learn more about her click on the title of this find. (text)

Teenager’s Inspiring Father’s Day Billboard by KTLA 5 News Team This is not your average Father’s Day story. Kiana Deane, 16, designed a Los Angeles billboard asking fathers to “step up” this Father’s Day. Kiana, who grew up in foster care, asks all fathers to be a parent, especially to young daughters. (Video)

Snip-Its tries to make haircuts easier for children with autism By Mari-Jane Williams A new salon in Washington has opened, which allows children with autism to get quick, professional hair-cuts without the sensory overload that a normal hair salon can bring. (Text)

How One Dad Inspires Teenagers to Make 33,000 Burritos for the Homeless By Deborah Grau | The Upbeat  What started off as a lesson in humility became a life-changing charity. When two parents asked their children to feed the homeless one morning, they never knew it would turn into a non-profit organization, feeding over thirty thousand hungry stomachs. (Video & Text)

Toddler Hears dad's Voice for the First Time By Staff at Charlotte News Watch a video of a toddler who thanks to a new medical procedure hears his father's voice for the 1st time. (video)

Have a wonderful weekend!

Throwback Thursday: Sandy Hook Revisited: Where Were You Last December 14?

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Thought for the Day: As I mentioned, I have a new Dream Team of Interns helping me this summer. As I begin training them in the various tasks connected to my social media & event planning for my book, I have had them read my blog. I asked for their Input. They suggested Throwback Tuesdays & Thursdays as a way to showcase some of my past posts & revisit some of the events that I have written about before. Claire Freeman, my Human Resource Intern, who is also a psychology student, offered to write a piece for today. I was going to re-post one of my stories as well. When she said she had some personal experiences, which she could share, I encouraged her to write it. It was not until later that day when she forwarded me her story, that I understood why she had volunteered. Although I edited it, this is her story & I think you will appreciate it. I am fortunate to have Claire as a member of my Dream Team. Her sensitivity & concern for her camper & his family shine through. Here’s her guest post:

It was 2 PM on just another Friday afternoon In December. My hardest final was four hours away. Before making the trek from my dorm to a conference room to study for finals, I got a text from one of my friends. She wrote, "My school is in a lock down. I don't know what happened, but I'm okay." I brushed this off, thinking a lock down was not a big deal since at my high school lock down drills were routine. I met my friends, plugged headphones into my computer, & started studying. My only worry was how hard It would be to ace my research methods exam.

At around 3:30, I took a break. I opened Facebook to find a frantic message from my friend, "An armed man has opened fire in a classroom at the Sandy Hook Elementary School!" She & I had worked together at a day camp in Redding, CT for the past 4 years. My friend was in lock down at Newtown High School where she is a student. She also forwarded a link to a news website.  I watched in horror as one of my campers described what had happened on a news clip. I began counting how many of my campers went to Sandy Hook Elementary School. I asked my friend if they were okay.  My heart sank when she wrote back, "All but one are accounted for."  That camper was the son of one of the camp staff. His mother was the music & drama counselor. Not only was she was like a mother to all the campers, but she was also a maternal figure for the counselors. As the anxiety-filled hours crept by, I could not concentrate on my studies. At about 5:30, my friend sent me a three-word text, “He passed away.” In disbelief, I stared in shock at the words. I could not move.  

Somehow I forced myself to take my exam & drove home, but I could not keep my mind off my camper, their family, & the other victims. The next month felt like a bad dream. My fellow counselors & I met at one of the schools in Newtown to discuss what we could do for the family. Over the next few weeks we met, talked, went to vigils & attended our camper’s funeral. Driving through the center of Newtown was eerie. The sidewalks were lined with flowers & teddy bear memorials. This small quaint town was filled with camera crews & news teams from across the country & around the world. The entire town was in shock & mourning.

It has been six months since December 14^th 2012. Camera crews have packed up & gone home. A stoic kind of a peace, or should I say a new normalcy, has been restored to Newtown. People go on with their day-to-day activities. There are soccer games, dance recitals & school graduations, but the events of 12/14 are still in the back of everyone's minds. The town has not really moved on, they are just trying to cope with what happened. Life goes on for me as well, but it has changed me. I still think about him & that day, which made me want to write about it on Dr. Lavi's blog.  Gun control has become a prominent issue, however this is not what I choose to focus on. Instead I want to keep my camper's memory alive. Although I will never forget this tragic day, I want to always remember how he thrived in life. He was such a sweet, energetic little boy who loved to sing Beatles' songs. He always made everyone smile & laugh. I hope you too will always remember the 14^th of December. When you do, take a moment, hug your loved ones & remind yourself to live every moment to the fullest.

*Photo http://www.flickr.com/photos/luchilu/2090288372/