Sunday's Comic Strips: Thanks for Listening, Following & Sharing

Thought for the Day: As the year draws to a close, I found a funny photo that I posted on facebook when I reached 900 fans. Since then, my fans & followers have grown to 1,248 on Facebook, over 12,000 on 3 twitter handles, 1,208 in google+ circles. The numbers are a bit mind boggling to me, however,  I really appreciate everyone who reads and follows me on social media. Although I don't hear from all the readers & followers, I know you are listening since there were over 7, 500 page views on this blog last month! I decided to repost this funny photo today and thank you all for tuning in. I hope you will share your thoughts and that my posts help you to wake up and dream!

Wake Up Wednesday's: Would Instagram & Twitter Have Changed WW II?

Thought for the Day: If there had been instagram pictures and tweets exposing the Nazi's horrific death camps, would the world (including the USA) have waited to enter the WWII? My initial thought was that things would have been different. However, I'm not so sure, making it my Wake Up Wednesday low for the week & food for thought. What do you think? Do Instagram and Twitter make us empathize and feel other people's pain?

As pictures of the chemical attack on a neighborhood in Syria circulate around the internet & the news media, why is public opinion not siding with the president's desire to react to the heinous use of chemical weapons? I know that our nation is war weary, but still have trouble with what is happening.

A study I read last week may shed some light on this question. In the study, which appears in the August issue of the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience,* James Coan, a psychology professor in U.VA.'s College of Arts & Sciences, used functional magnetic brain scans to see how the subjects' brains reacted to the potential threat of an electric shock to themselves, someone they cared about or a stranger. "Our self comes to include the people we feel close to," according to Coan. Although our brains are hardwired to feel other people's pain as if it were our own, if we care about the other person, if we do not know them or care about them, we are unmoved by the pain.

Why don't we care about all human being's pain? Are we unable to imagine that the women and children in Syria, could be our family or our children? If someone photo-shopped the images & made them look like the typical American family, or if we knew someone whose home was hit in the attack, would we feel the pain, empathize and demand action?

There is a saying in Judaism, "If you save one life you save the world." If our brains are built to empathize can we learn to expand our empathy to include the entire family of man, not just our race, religion, nation or personal family? I hope for the future of mankind & the world, that we can.

On a brighter note, my Wake Up Moment High of this week is connected to the photo above. An anonymous diner at a restaurant in NC seems to have had empathy for a stranger & found a way to pay it forward.** The note was given to the parents of an 8 year old special needs child, who was having a tough time & was making a scene at the eatery. A waitress was in tears when she delivered the note to them. It came from another customer who witnessed them struggling with their child and paid the couple's dinner tab.

When you see someone in pain, do you empathize or ignore them? What would happen if you imagined yourself in their shoes? What were your wake up moments this week?

*To read more about the research:
L. Beckes, J. A. Coan, K. Hasselmo. Familiarity promotes the blurring of self and other in the neural representation of threat. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 2012; 8 (6): 670 DOI: 10.1093/scan/nss046

**More on this story

Mystery Customer Picks Up Tab, Leaves Inspiring Note For Parents Of Special Needs Child

Saturday's Songs for the Soul: Why Do Robert Redford, Jodie Foster & Ben Kingsley Want You to Know Who Alice Guy-Blaché Was?

 

Who Was Alice Guy-Blaché?

Thought for the Day: Yesterday, I posted #FF Friday's Fabulous Finds, I was not sure what song to share today. I had posted this tweet about my Friday's Finds (which went out automatically around midnight EDST):
@WakeUpDreamNow #FF Finds: World Changing #Women: Suffragettes, .@GwenIfill .@JudyWoodruff Omaha Rocks http://t.co/inuekLuJZf #psychology #news
        (Translation: Dr. Barbara Lavi is asking you to Follow her Friday (#FF) Finds & send it out to your followers. It reports stories about World Changing Women's accomplishments including Suffrogattes, Reporters Gwen Ifill & Judy Woodruff's Trailblazing appointment as 1st female co-anchors on PBS' NewsHour, and a program in Omaha that helps girls build self esteem at a rock and roll camp. Here's a link to the blog post which is related to psychology and news.)
About an hour later, on twitter I saw this message:  @BeNaturalMovie Aug 09, 12:51pm via Twitter for iPhone

@WakeUpDreamNow @gwenifill @JudyWoodruff ever heard of #aliceguy kck.st/13bDln4

          (Translation: Someone who's twitter handle is @BeNaturalMovie was writing to let me know they had read my tweet & was asking me if I had ever heard of Alice Guy. I clicked on the link on the tweet & viewed a very interesting story about Alice Guy-Blaché. She was a pioneer film maker whose contribution to the history of film making has been virtually lost. I tweeted back to them that it seemed to be an important story that needs to be told. They tweeted back, thanked me & asked for my help.
          I tweeted out their tweet (in twitterese I retweeted or RT's it to the 11, 500 + followers on my 3 twitter handles. @BeNaturalMovie thanked me & I thought I was done. However,  the story & the importance of letting people know about women, like Alice, who were bold enough to follow their dreams, stuck with me. I decided to share it with you here today & hope you will view the kickstart video. They are behind their goals & their minimum donation is just a dollar. Please take a look. Share it with your friends, families, fans, & other  networks.
            When you view the video you will see that film makers & actors like Robert Redford (executive producer), Jodie Foster (narrator) & Ben Kingsley are supportive of this project. I'm sure they don't mind that I used their names to get your attention in the title of this post & hope you don't mind as well! The story of Alice is what is really important. Women who make history should not be erased from the history books!
Click HERE to view their kickstart campaign.

        I chose "Wind Beneath My Wings" performed by Bette Midler (written by Jeff Silbar and Larry Henley) for the song for the soul today. I met Larry Henley a few years ago at the frank Brown Songwriters Festival. He was very humble. It was a huge honor to meet and speak with someone who wrote such a beautiful inspiring song. Women like Alice are unsung heroes. Because of the accomplishments of women like her others are following in her footsteps.

 Above photo from Be Natural Movie Kickstarter page.

Sunday's Comic Strips: Some Funny Signs

 

Thought for the Day: Today I decided to share some of the humorous "Signs" that my interns & I have been preparing & will be posting many more on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr & LinkedIn for the next 3 days as part of our Social media campaign. Some are like these single signs, others are a series of signs. Although all of this is about a self help book related to serious endeavors in the fields of psychotherapy and psychology, these photos are just fun to make! Feel free to share them with friends & make sure you get your free copy as soon as possible. It will only be available for 3 days! Here's the link:  http://goo.gl/8F2TbU

 

#FF Friday's Fab Finds: Cyberparenting, Royal Tweetsters, Mark Zuckerburg, Philanthropy & The New Yorker Cartoons

Thought for the Day: I am excited to let you know that I have a new Dream Team of interns who are starting to help me with my blog & other activities connected to my book. Today, I had the pleasure of reviewing leads for #FF Friday's Fabulous Finds from my new team member, Steph, a rising Junior at Pace University studying Applied Psychology, with minors in Sociology & Criminal Justice.(There will be more about Steph & the rest of the new team on my newsletter soon.) I combined some of the posts she found with some I found over the week. In time, my interns may guest post or co-write posts with me.

Today, in conjunction with the week's theme about the impact of online social communities, there are a few posts that show some of the wonderful things that social media can make possible & even how the 85 year old Queen of England is realizing that Twitter can help the monarchy's ailing brand. There's a touching profile & video of an 8 year old philanthropist & a kickstarter.com project also with a video raising money for a documentary film about the Comics of The New Yorker Magazine. Here's the fabulous finds Stephanie & I have for you today:

Cyberparenting and the Risk of T.M.I  Here's an article by Pamela Paul from the NY Times, on May 3, 2013. Does being friends with your children on Facebook lead to T.M.I (Too Much Information)? Or is it safer to be friends with them, & bare the consequences?

The Royal Family

Corinne Purtill's article for the Globalpost Press and Guide: The Queen’s Tweets: English Royal Family Embraces Social Media appeared on June 9, 2013. The English Royal Family has acquired a twitter handle, as well as one dedicated to the princes & their families. The Royal Family is trying to appear “like normal people.” They want to rebrand the royal family & keep the monarchy alive. One wonders if they actually compose the royal tweets or it they have a royal tweetster, the modern equivalent of a royal jester!

Mark Zuckerburg Facebook Founder

Mark Zuckerburg announced that  Facebook (is) Encouraging Organ Donations. CNN writer, Steve Almasy, reported  about new Facebook applications that will allow users to share their willingness to be organ donors, support medical organizations, & learn more about organ donations.



 

Sunny Skyz Happy News

On June 10, SunnySky shared an inspiring story, Eight-year-old raises $1200 for paralyzed man’s physical therapy sessions, by Sarah Mervosh of DallasNews.com. An eight year old has raised over $1200 for 21-year-old Luka Da Cruz’s physical therapy sessions after he was shot & paralyzed last year. She did not meet him until recently. Her positive generous outlook will touch your heart (video & article).

 
Very Semi-Serious by Leah Wolchok and Davina Pardo Kickstarter.com is a kickstarter.com project with 14 days left to reach their goal. On my Sunday's Comic Strip Posts & other posts I have written about the healing power of humor.  If you love the cartoons in The New Yorker Magazine, you will want to help make this offbeat documentary about humor, art & the genius of the New Yorker cartoon happen. They are accepting donations from $1 up. 


In case you missed Motivational Monday's  Post: A Twist: A Psychologist Needs Your Help, "We Need to Talk!" I really would like your input to help me improve this blog & make sure it is informative & useful for you. Thanks in advance for any comments or suggestions.

Have a wonderful weekend! I hope you will come back for Saturday's Songs for the Soul & Sunday's Comic Strips.

Photos

Mark Zuckerberg photo by Guillaume Paumier from Wikipedia

Guillaume Paumier, CC-BY.

The Royal Family
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/nakedcharlton/573748521/">Jon's pics</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a> 

New Yorker from Kickstart Campaign

Sunny Skyz Happy News from SunnySkyz.com

#FF Friday's Fabulous Finds: Easy Activism, NPO Helps Other NPO's, Marathon Winners, Operation Beautiful

Thought for the Day: This week has been an exciting week for me. I have not had time to reflect & write about my trip to Washington DC yet. As a psychologist, the parallels between the issues related to bullying & the gun lobby in Washington are ironic. On Monday, I plan to write about my observations of this phenomenon. In the meantime, my 1st Fab find gives some easy ways that you can get involved & help Moms Demand Action. Even if you have never been politically active before check it out. On twitter, I found an innovative nonprofit organization that offers support to other nonprofit organizations. In these rough financial times, their support will be a welcome service. If you know an NPO that could use some help, pass this information on. My third find is a story about a father who is facing the challenge of brain cancer by running marathons with his 5 year old daughter. Finally, I found it refreshing to see teen age girls encouraging their peers to go makeup free. Have a great weekend & enjoy these finds! I hope you will come back on Saturday for Saturday's Songs for the Soul & Sunday's Comic Strips & on Monday for Motivational Mondays. -->

I am honored to be standing behind Nancy Pelosi

1) Moms Demand Action is the main page of this grassroots revolution that has grown from one mom's web page to 80,000 members & 80 chapters across the USA since 12/14/2012. On this page they have several short videos including one showing how to make phone call to your congressmen & phone numbers of some senators who have voted against the current legislation.

     In addition they have an amazing page that includes easy click & tweet options to let your elected officials know you want them to support the anti-gun legislation being voted on now in the senate & tweets to let the world know the facts about gun violence in America

  -->

2) Kerstner Foundation offers free websites& other services for Nonprofits.

  -->

 
3) An truly inspiring story of true marathon winners. A father running for his life & making sure his 5 year old daughter knows her father's legacy first hand.

  

4) How some teenage girls from Texas are encouraging their peers be themselves & to go Make Up Free: Operation Beautiful.

 
 
 

What Do Michelle Obama & Book Publishing Have in Common?

Regardless of Your Political Persuasion the Obama's Have Served as Role Models for All Wake Up Dreamers

Thought for the day: At the #DNC Michelle Obama gave an inspiring speech. She may have stolen the show for the entire election campaign. While listening to her speak, I started thinking that she should run for president. She is a shining example of how hard work & education can lead to accomplishing your dreams. The primary goal of her speech was to support her husband & his dreams. However, her genuine desire to help all people reach their dreams has been evident in her tireless work with veterans & fighting obesity in children over the last four years. As I work on my ambitious goals to help others through my book, I have been humbled by the amount of work needed to accomplish my task. Michelle Obama's dedication to lending a hand to those following in her footsteps aspiring to reach their American dreams inspired me. I decided to write about the at times overwhelming task of book promotion & share with other writers some of what I have learned over the course of the last couple of years.

Every writer is a dreamer. Just to write a book requires imagination, courage, perseverance & a leap of faith. Even in this age of self-publishing, with the help of the internet & social media, getting a book out to the world takes determination & hard work. When I began this journey, I knew it would not be easy. In addition to working on completing the book, I began developing a website, Facebook fan page, Twitter following,  LinkedIn account & this blog. I have had the help of three Dream Teams of interns. Along the way I have met, either virtually or in person, over twelve thousand people. They include, psychologists, authors, photographers, film makers, journalists, bloggers, housewives, veterans, & people from all races, religions & socioeconomic levels who finds my message inspiring. I am especially grateful to all the writers who have shared their knowledge, tweeted & posted about my work. I'd like to give back to them in this post by sharing some of what I have learned about the massive task of marketing a book.

Before I share some tips on social media, let me tell you about where I was a little over a year a half ago. When I began this process, I was a passive observer on Facebook. I had a personal page, but I tended to simply click through the posts & rarely made a comment. I didn't think anyone would be interested in what was going on in my life & was afraid as a therapist to share anything personal. Nothing in my life seemed worthy of writing about in a facebook status update. Twitter was an even more foreign concept to me. I had attended an EWN (Entrepreneurial Women's Network) workshop in Norwalk, CT about the use of twitter, opened an account & never did anything with it for over a year. To me it seemed silly that people were tweeting about where & what they ate for dinner. On LinkedIn, I had a partial profile, but only a handful of connections. I was afraid to reach out to anyone I did not know well on LinkedIn fearing that I would automatically be ejected from the site. I had tried to blog a few years before, but when the program on my website started to malfunction, I gave up. I did not think I had enough to write about on a regular basis.

Today, I have over 9,000 followers on 3 twitter handles: @WakeUpDreamNow, @DreamNonProfits, & @PostTweetDreams, almost 600 fans, 247 friends & a couple of thousands of pages that like me on Facebook, over 500 connections on LinkedIn & over 12,000 pageviews on this blog since it's inception last January. In addition, I have a presence on YouTube, Tumblr, Google+, Pinterest & Klout (score = 60). Surprisingly, given my passive observer stance less than a year ago, I actually enjoy social media & blogging immensely! What happened? I think the change in my attitude toward social media was gradual, but here's some of what I have learned.

Remember Sharing = Caring!

Tip #1: Don't be afraid to speak up on the social network sites. Join the conversations! Once I began to overcome my reluctance to share my thoughts & opinions, stopped lurking & observing, social media became an amazing networking opportunity.  I don't share the mundane activities in my life, but I do comment, share, like, tweet & retweet things that I believe are important. I support other authors, nonprofit organizations, & causes that I care about. The more I support & share, the more people support me. I have met & interacted with people from around the world whom I would never have encountered without the help of the social networks. If you are a friend of an aspiring author, take note, help them out by sharing, commenting & liking their posts, too.

Tip #2: Join & participate in groups that are interesting to you. On Facebook & LinkedIn there are a myriad of groups to choose from, join them & start interacting with new people with similar interests. From those groups, I discovered some amazing resources for therapists & authors. On Links For Shrinks, I have met wonderful therapists from around the world. They have discussions about therapeutic dilemmas as well as support & critiquing of facebook, twitter & blogging. From those groups & discussions, I have met writers from Psychology Today, professors from prestigious colleges & other creative thoughtful therapists whose ideas give me food for thought & for my social media posts. From the authors groups & discussions, I have discovered the WorldLiteracyCafe.com a treasure chest of resources for aspiring authors & curious readers looking for great books by aspiring new authors. The authors I have "met" through this network help one another by sharing & tweeting about book signings & other events. They often teach one another about marketing, offer guest blog spots & share writing resources. You can use search words to help you find the people & groups you wish to follow on Facebook, LinkedIn & Twitter.

Tip #3: Pay attention to people's profiles on Facebook & Twitter, follow their links to their websites & you may discover other resources. Recently, after getting my book onto kindle on Amazon.com, I began paying attention to Twitter handles related to ebooks. I noticed one connected to a website called AuthorMarketingClub.com, they offer an array of free marketing resources & tools for authors including: A review request system where you can put your book in front of readers who want to read & review your book; a thriving community of authors willing to share their marketing tactics & lessons, & failures; helpful advice & resources for new & experienced authors alike; and, specials & offers for discounted services to help you publish your book.

Tip #4: Mind your manners. When someone helps you, acknowledge their support & return the favor. Social networking is not that different from other social situations. We learn as children to say, "Thank you," when someone does something for us. On the social networking sites, it is important to say thank you as quickly as possible. If they share something that you have posted thank them. if you see something that they have posted that you think your followers will appreciate, share it & let people know how you found the information.

In short, the more you give to others, the more you will get in return from those you meet. I'd love to hear your stories about people you have met via social media. I will share more stories about my encounters in subsequent posts.

Mother's Day Part III: If My Mother, Grandmother & I Ruled the World

                 Photos & Lyrics are Great on this Mother's Day Video

Thought for the day: I've always felt that the best gifts are either ones you make (or write) for someone or the gift of spending time with someone. If you are inspired by what I have been writing in this 3 part Mother's Day series please share your stories about your mothers & grandmothers here & with your loved ones. At the end of this short blog, I will post a list of other last minute gift ideas for Mother's Day.

My 4 Generations of Mothers Many Years Ago

In my earlier posts in this series, I told you about how the world would be if my mother (Part I) or grandmother (Part II) ruled the world. Today, I'd like to add my my twist on one of the lessons my mother & grandmother taught me which might help solve problems big & small. My mother & grandmother were not the only ones who believed that, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." As a therapist, I help people express all their thoughts & feelings. You may think I was not listening to or rejected the wisdom of that saying. I actually believe that I've added my own twist to that lesson. I would suggest that, "If you can't say something nice, find a nice way to say it." 

So if my mother, grandmother & I ruled the world through the three lessons I've discussed this week, what would happen? People would encourage their children to change the world by teaching them new ways to resolve conflicts. They would not only encourage them to lower their voices, but also to find creative sensitive ("nice") ways to talk about tough topics. In addition, they would use the new technologies which my mother would have embraced on facebook, twitter, Google+  & YouTube to build a strong world family of man better equipped to resolve all conflicts.

As Mother's Day approaches, I miss my mother & grandmother, but they are with me & continue to inspire me & my children every day. How are you, your mother & grandmother changing the world?  I'd love to hear your stories, too. We all can inspire one another! Let's lead the way!

As promised, here are some last minute ideas for gifts for the mothers in your life:

If you live in or near NYC or will be visiting soon, take your Mom to the Museum of Motherhood where they celebrate Motherhood 365 days a year. Or take them on May 20 (Sun) 11-5PM 9th Annual MAMAPALOOZA Outdoor Extravaganza at Riverside Park So. NYC with Summer On The Hudson, New York (entrance at West 68th St and the Hudson River) FREE.  More

While you are in NYC you can visit the MicroMuseum as well.

You might want to inspire the women who taught you to believe in your ability to accomplish your dreams by giving them books that will inspire them. You can order one of my books that contributes 1/2 of the profits to a cause your mother supports or one that supports mothers like Enchanted Makeovers, which uses handmade projects to makeover shelters for homeless mothers & their children. There are 21 amazing NPOs benefiting from my book. Type in the name of the nonprofit to find the book that supports your cause.

Other inspiring books  & a video to choose from by authors I have met since I published my book include: The Thin Threads Series (available online & in Hallmark Stores) including one on Mothers & Grandmothers, edited by Stacey Battat,  Mother Teresa, CEO, by Ruma Bose & Kathy Eldon's award winning video about her son, Don Eldon Dying to Tell the Story [VHS]. 

If you want to read more about my grandmother's inspiring story, check out her memoir, Stored Treasures.

Have a Happy Mother's Day!

The Psychology of Social Media for Social Good

Thought for Today: The Psychology of Social Media is strongly connected to what I called the Psychology of Unexpected Adventures in an earlier post on March 23rd. Unexpected adventures bring joy & sometimes help us shift direction in life. Some people call these events serendipity, the law of attraction or fate, but I think it is something different. The March 23rd post led me to discover a wonderful new product capable of helping multiple causes. I'd like to share their story as an example of the connection between social media & the Psychology of Unexpected Adventuress. How has social media led to an unexpected discovery or adventure for you? I'd love to hear your stories.

I saw a very funny, touching film yesterday at the Garden Cinemas , in Norwalk CT. We try to see all the movies played at this wonderful 4 screen art house, since they show films you may not find at the bigger establishments. I knew nothing about the movie, but trusted that it would be good if they brought it. I was not disappointed. I had not realized that Susan Sarandan was one of the stars along with Jason Segal, Ed Helms, & Judy Greer in the movie, Jeff Lives At Home. I don't want to ruin the movie for you, but in one sentence, getting out of your normal routine often leads to unexpected adventures. Jeff's mother, Susan Sarandan, is worried about him & her one birthday wish is for him to buy wood glue at Home Depot & fix a wooden slat on a louvered door on her closet. Jeff sees everything as signs of his destiny. He follows all the "signs" when he ventures out of the basement to go to Home Depot.

Jeff, (Jason Segal) who lives at home & is going nowhere in life, but he is not the only onewho is stuck. All the main characters in this movies are dissatisfied with their lives in one way or another. His mother (Susan Sarandan) is working hard at a job, but is lonely & dislikes both her sons. Ed Helms plays Jeff's brother who turns to extravagant purchases to try to fill the void he's feeling in his marriage. His wife, played by Judy Greer, is having an affair. She is looking for someone to pay attention to her, since she feels misunderstood by her husband. Each of the characters change their normal routine on the day reported in the movie & have unexpected adventures. In the movie, we only see one day in their lives, so we can only guess & hope that the adventures lead to changes in their lives.

You may be thinking, what does this have to do with the psychology of social media? I have loved the internet since I first started using it about 12 years ago. I have been able to "meet" people through the internet that I would never have met in real life without this technology. When I started using twitter last May, I did so since everyone in the world of publishing seemed to think it was important. Personally, I thought it was a silly platform where people tweeted about what they were eating for lunch. By the end of the summer, my view of twitter was totally different. I had used the platform to build several thousand followers including NPOs, authors, musicians, psychologists, philanthropists, & journalists interested in social activism. I discovered some (@BlindJudo, @Elimin8Prejudic, @VABC & @MusicFromABottle) of the NPOs included in my book through twitter. Many nonprofit organizations found me.

On March 23rd, on this blog, I asked readers to share their stories of unexpected adventures in their lives. I posted a tweet to my now 7500 followers on three twitter handles (@WakeUpDreamNow, @DreamNonProfits, & @PostTweetDreams). Three minutes later, here's what happened:

WakeUpDreamNow: Are you open to unexpected discoveries & dreams? Amazing things can happen on the path to your dreams. See how... Link 8:31am, Mar 23 from Facebook

Eraselet: @WakeUpDreamNow Ck out how we followed our dreams and used our past to gv bk http://t.co/tPlVRezg 8:34am, Mar 23

 (The only change I made was to update the links which were no longer active!)

With over 7000 followers, I had not read about Eraselet before this twitter encounter. When I read their story, I loved it & promised to write about it after last Thursday's event Wings of Change at which I was preparing to speak along with other authors, philanthropists, educators & NPOs dedicated to changing the world. 

Behind @Eraselet is Bryan Ricci, another person on a mission to help change the world. His story can give hope to anyone who is struggling at this time. At age 15, Brian lived on the streets of Nashville. He was sleeping under bridges. Brian hopped from couch to couch to survive. “I didn’t know what to do,” Ricci said. “And then one day … I had this crazy moment. I hitchhiked to California, got a job waiting tables & turned my life around.” Fast forward, 16 years & now Brian at 31 is married with children & working to help others avoid the path he took as a teenager.

His current unexpected adventure started when Brian's 10 year old daughter kept losing erasers. Brian's wife, Kimberly Ricci, says that, "knowing how kids wear all those bands & bracelets around their wrists, Bryan told her he’d make her an eraser she could wear like (a bracelet).’’ He invented a rubber wristband, called an Eraselet, that doubles as an eraser. The wristband can be used as a marketing tool to promote slogans such as “Erase Hunger.” For the Metropolitan Homelessness Commission, “End Homelessness.” So the once homeless father, has found a way to help others erase homelessness & endless other causes.

I believe that once we decide to make a change in our lives & start moving towards our dreams, we begin to make changes which lead us to unexpected discoveries & adventures. Whether we get out in the real world or the virtual world of social media, we begin to discover people, organizations & ideas that can help us move forward towards our dreams. It is not some magical process even though it may seem magical. When you are stuck & start doing things differently, it becomes like a chain reaction leading to new opportunities. I hope this post brings multiple new opportunities for Brian's wonderful invention & reaches as many charities as possible!

What discoveries & encounters have you had using social media? I'd love to hear your stories!

Does Social Media Lead to Social Action or Inaction?

Does Social Media Lead To Social Action for Social Good?

Thought for the day: There is something wonderful & terrible about all the social media sites. On the one hand, you can interact with people you would never meet without these platforms. It is easy to learn about things without leaving your home. On the other hand, these sites can become addictive, time consuming & may lead to less real life interactions with people. When confronted with four options: 1) like, 2) share, 3) unlike, or 4) move on, or ignore what we see, are we choosing option 4) more often than any of the others. Why are people opting not to interact? Are we becoming voyeurs rather than action takers? Is our attention span becoming shorter & shorter? Do we need more & more negative, shocking photos & videos to get our attention? Is social media missing it's mark & making us more asocial or anti-social? We know that twitter has played an influential role in the Arab Spring movement, so social media can lead to action, but does it sometimes lead to inaction. What does it take to get you to like or share something on social media sites? What stops you from sharing or liking something?

As a psychologist, I tend to test my theories before I write about them. I find the psychology of social media fascinating. For the last few months I have been thinking about & developing ways to understand the psychology of using social media for social good. My most recent experiment came before I even had a theory or a plan to write about it. I was simply curious. I responded to a facebook post & decided to try it on both my personal & book facebook page, my google+ page (which, I really don't understand yet), & my 3 twitter handles. That means the message went out to over 8,000 people or pages. I was reluctant to place the post since it felt a bit like chain letters which I do not pass on, but my curiosity won.

Here's the post I put out on all the above sites: "...Pay attention! I'm running a test to see who's reading my posts. So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about your day—only one word, please. Then, copy this to your wall so I can leave a word for you. Don't just post a word & not copy—that's no fun."

My meager results in over 48 hours are: 18 replies, shares, & likes. In fairness, I get a lot more responses when I post more interesting content. I also sent out my test on a Saturday afternoon when people are busy, so it may not reflect how well it may have done on a weekday. It still appears on my facebook pages, but it is ancient history on twitter & google+. 

Are we simply overwhelmed with so many posts, tweets, blogs & newsletters flashing by in real time? Do we need disasters or "glitzy" gossip from stars to get our attention?  Are we becoming "couch potatoes" on the internet? How can we get people to really connect in meaningful ways? I hope that we will not become numb to calls for action similar to the passerby phenomenon that has occurred when people hear the sounds of a crime happening & ignore it.

I find that some sites are making a conscious effort to engage people about real issues. On Voices Against Brain Cancer's facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/VoicesAgainstBrainCancer, people post pictures & stories about their loved ones who are either fighting a battle against brain cancer or who have sadly lost the battle. They are raising awareness, supporting families dealing with the disease & supporting research programs to put an end to brain cancer. It is so powerful that I can only respond to posts a bit at a time, but I make an effort to do so. Stop Violence Against Women www.care2.com engages visitors to click to have their sponsors support various causes. You can click every day & support multiple causes there for free.

What sites you share, like & comment on & why? As I see it it is up to us, the users to put social responsibility & activism into social media.

Is the American Dream Dying or Just Transforming?

Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so.  Noam Chomsky

     Thought for today: Life in this day & age is not without challenges. Much of the news we hear is depressing. The economy is struggling. Unemployment is high. College grads are returning home & living with their parents out of necessity. Teenage girls are posting on YouTube asking if they are ugly. Children were murdered in an attack by a classmate wielding a gun in Ohio. Under the circumstances, staying optimistic is challenging. If it is a prerequisite for making the future better, how can we hold on to our optimism? In light of all the negative news, is the American Dream dying or just transforming? More positive news exists, however, the media seems to focus on the negative, since it sells. We have the power to change that fact. Today, I will tell you about some of the organizations whose activities are helping to keep the American Dream alive & well. Like America, it is transforming with the times. Please share these stories that include the negative occurences but also report some promising solutions & progress in their messages. Show magazines & the media that you are interested in the positive news which will help keep the American Dream thriving.

I was thinking about this topic before I read an article (http://www.forbes.com/sites/deniserestauri/2012/02/27/teen-girl-in-the-mirror-a-picture-shows-her-truth/) by one of my new friends Denise Restauri. Then I viewed a clip about a new documentary, America the Beautiful ABC LA News www.youtube.com. YA day later, I saw another powerful documentary, Someday Melissa, about a young woman's battle with an eating disorder. After the screening, I listened to & spoke with members of a panel of experts, the film makers & the audience including women & men recovering from eating disorders, talk about their experiences & the progress being made in the field.

All three of the above were in conjunction with National Eating Disorder Awareness week, but somehow I see these as testaments to the changing face of the American Dream. The rise in violence, unemployment, & eating disorders, are symptoms of the times we are living in. When the going gets tough you must get tougher. When the dream is challenged, you must get more creative to dream it forward. Women & girls are fighting for their American Dreams of life liberty & the pursuit of happiness & are making progress. 

The American Dream is going through what seems like a coming of age right of passage. With each technological advance, democracy & freedom need to reassess how to insure those rights to all it's citizens. Facebook, twitter, & YouTube have given a worldwide platform which can be used for amazingly good causes or for evil ones. America & Americans are just beginning to learn how to use these new tools responsibly. As with all new things, it takes time to learn how to use them respectfully & responsibly. 

Denise's series of articles for Eating Disorder's Awareness week speak about the new trend among young girls to post videos on YouTube asking if they are ugly. It is heartbreaking to see such lovely young girls questioning their beauty & to learn that they are being taunted by cruel kids online. It raises huge concerns for parents, educators & therapists. Helping girls (& boys for that matter) to accept their unique bodies & appearances is challenging in an environment where magazines, TV & social media portray beauty as airbrushed thin models who often suffer from eating disorders to maintain dangerously unhealthy body weight. She also reports about a program called "Project HEAL, founded by two teenage girls who helped each other recover from anorexia nervosa, a potentially life-threatening eating disorder characterized by self-starvation & excessive weight loss." Programs like Project Heal are a sign of hope. Survivors are taking control of their eating, while helping other teens take control & fighting for their right to live the American Dream.

Given the explosion of new technologies, parents need to "friend" their children & their children's friends on Facebook & YouTube. They must pay attention to their children's & their children's friends posts & talk to them if anything seems worrisome.  Are they or a friend depressed, angry, threatening, self-deprecating, questioning whether they want to live? In the same way that you would want to meet the children they are associating with at school, you need to try to have some idea of who they are connecting with online. Start "friending" them on facebook when they are young, before they will be self-conscious about including you. Don't try to "be" their friend, just keep a watchful eye & speak with them personally, if you have concerns. If they want to take you off their "friend" list, remember, you are paying for internet access & can take it away. Make it a requirement for internet access. Remember you are the parent.

In addition, as parents there are things you can do to impact on the media. Television advertises food & alcohol ways to attain happiness, popularity & success. It took years for society to realize that advertizing of cigarettes was killing people & get the ads off the air. I believe we are on the verge of a grass roots revolution regarding how women's beauty is portrayed by the media. It is time to realize that advertizing is killing girls & women by promoting an unachievable unhealthy image. We, the consumers, can change the face of feminine beauty. To do so we must speak up & let the fashion, music, movie, dance & gymnastics industry know that we will not put up with the exclusion of girls as models or performers who do not fit the "twiggy" look. Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. It starts from within & external beauty varies from culture to culture. Dove made a huge step in that direction with an ad campaign using older women showing the beauty of aging bodies & varying body types. We need to demand similar campaigns directed towards young girls & teenagers. More singers & actors need to break away from the pressure to have a thin "look" like Adele, who can be a role model for artists to accept their uniqueness.

The article & documentaries I mentioned give the hard truths about eating disorders. The statistics alone are staggering 30% of college students have eating disorders. The problems are starting with younger & younger children. 

• It is estimated that 8 million Americans have an eating disorder – seven million women & one million men
• One in 200 American women suffers from anorexia
• Two to three in 100 American women suffers from bulimia
• Nearly half of all Americans personally know someone with an eating disorder (Note: One in five Americans suffers from mental illnesses.)
• Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness
• A study by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa & Associated Disorders reported that 5 – 10% of anorexics die within 10 years after contracting the disease; 18-20% of anorexics will be dead after 20 years & only 30 – 40% ever fully recover
• The mortality rate associated with anorexia nervosa is 12 times higher than the death rate of ALL causes of death for females 15 – 24 years old.
• 20% of people suffering from anorexia will prematurely die from complications related to their eating disorder, including suicide & heart problems 
• Only 1 in 10 people with eating disorders receive treatment
• About 80% of the girls/women who have accessed care for their eating disorders do not get the intensity of treatment they need to stay in recovery – they are often sent home weeks earlier than the recommended stay (All above statistics copied from: http://www.state.sc.us/dmh/anorexia/statistics.htm)

Insurance companies are withholding funding for much needed longer inpatient treatment which can prevent the deaths of eating disordered patients. Families are struggling to help their children survive by locking up food & do not know what to do when insurance companies send their loved ones back home when their medical profile improves, but the therapy is incomplete. 

These facts are unsettling, however, there is also hope. Women, men, families of those suffering from or whose loved ones have died from eating disorders are fighting back. Movies like the one made made by a mother & a therapist, Someday Melissa (www.somedaymelissa.com) & America the Beautiful (America the Beautiful ABC LA News www.youtube.com) are raising awareness. Grass roots groups are lobbying for "truth in advertizing" campaigns (http://www.openpr.com/news/209154/NEDA-Joins-Off-Our-Chests-In-Battle-to-Launch-Media-and-Public-Hea ) & mental health parity laws to force insurance companies to pay for much needed services. There are awareness programs in schools, universities, online & in the broader communities around the world. New research, as well as free treatment programs (http://www.teenbulimiastudy.org/) are happening. 

If you know someone who is suffering from an eating disorder, let them know help is out there. If you know someone who is being bullied or ridiculed for their appearance, help them by speaking up. Get involved. Let women's magazines know that you want them to stop promoting the "twiggy" look, that you want medical screening for eating disorders for models under the age of 18 & that you will unsubscribe from their magazines if they do not make changes. If enough people protest things will change. Get involved, you can help make a difference. Let's make someday that SomedayMelissa.com is promoting come as soon as possible. As we enter the brave new world of the internet & social media, let us all learn how to use them to promote good causes & fight harmful abuses of the system. The American Dream will survive if we keep it at the forefront of our dreams & actions to protect the lives, liberty & pursuit of happiness for all it's citizens.

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